Remembering the Best in Times of Loss

Reading Level: Gratifying

Do you feel that you effectively handle the loss of a loved one?

During a time of loss and grieving, what you choose to focus on will determine how effectively you transition to life without that person. I once read of a study on people who lived to be over 100. The only common factor discovered in that particular study was their ability to go on after tragedy and still find life worth living. Since stress and negative thoughts are physically damaging as well as emotionally, it is easy to see how this would be true. There is no doubt that times of loss involve grieving over the separation. There are a variety of psychological stages one goes through during grief. However, the choice of your focus drastically affects the effectiveness of your transition.

Choosing to focus on the aspects of that person which brought joy to your life is important to your well-being.

Instead of focusing on the traumatic circumstances which took place in the physical realm that caused you to lose that person, choose to live out your life rejoicing in the positive input that person had into your life. Meditate on the various joys that person brought to you. Rejoice that your life was fuller because of those joys. Rejoice that you are a better person because of those experiences.

The next step in effectively transitioning through a time of loss is realizing the source of those joys you experienced.

This week was one of high stress for our family as I almost lost my father to 3 severe intestinal bugs that he contracted while visiting the sick in hospitals, hospices, and nursing homes the week before Thanksgiving. Visiting the sick and elderly has always been a major focus of my father’s life. I was reminded of an experience from years back, the first time that I almost lost my father to an illness. I was grieving at the possibility of the loss. My father’s love for people and God has always been a source of inspiration to my life. I was not able to feel any peace until God spoke a concept very clearly to my heart. He said, “Everything good that you love about your father came from Me. Those things are in Me and I am always with you.”

As you focus on the aspect that the joys you experienced in the person you lost actually have their source in God, and He is always with you, you realize in a deeper, more complete way that those joys can continue in your life.

God has forever made clear His commitment to be with you. In the Old Testament, He says not to be discouraged or afraid because He goes before you, is with you, and will never leave you or forsake you. (Deut. 31:8)

Again in the New Testament, this is reiterated:

Surely I am will you always, even to the very of the age. Matt. 28:20
I will never leave you and never forsake you. Heb. 13:5

In the Greek, the tense of the word “never” in Hebrews 13 is actually never x 7 (never times 7), stressing the complete reality of God’s presence with you.


Now let’s focus on a moment on God’s goodness. James 1:17 says that every good and perfect gift is from your Heavenly Father. Every good that your loved one poured into your life, every joy that was imparted, had its source in the personality and person of Father God. Like God impressed on me in my time of trial, “Every good thing that you love about the person exists in Me, came from Me, and I am always with you!”

During your time of loss, deal effectively with your time of transition.

Meditate on the joys that your loved one brought to you and then stay focused on that fact that Father God is the source of those joys. He cannot die, so His promise to always be with you, continuing to pour those joys into you, is a lasting one that you can count on for the rest of your life.

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