Table of contents for From Rejection to Self Esteem
- From Rejection to Self Esteem Part 1
- From Rejection to Self Esteem Part 2
Rejection comes to each of us, but we can take steps to heal and move forward with the productive life we deserve and desire.
Many readers have asked for help in dealing with rejection from parents and other relationships. Whether rejection comes from a family member, friend, co-worker, or even a mere stranger, it leaves us with a wide variety of emotions, such as pain and guilt, and questions as to why someone would feel that way about us. Let’s cover several steps that help us to heal and move forward to a happier life.
First, don’t spend a great deal of time questioning why.
Unless the person broke off the relationship due to a major personality flaw on your part which they directly communicated to you as the cause of the rejection — and you already know you need to work on that aspect — quit questioning why. If there was no such communication on the offender’s part, speculation will not help you for the following reason. If the cause was a personality flaw on your part and they were not willing to communicate in such a way as to allow for healing and reconciliation in the relationship, the rejector is not presently, and may never be, in a mental/emotional state to have a long-term, healthy relationship. As it is, it is much more likely, since they were unwilling to communicate in a way as to provide for reconciliation, that the major emotional issues are on their part.
Second, quit being too hard on yourself.
If you are aware of certain mistakes you made that contributed to the rejection, you can always work on changing those behaviors, even getting profession help if needed. However, you must be realistic in accessing your failures. Usually a person who is suffering from rejection is too hard on him or herself, taking more than their share of the blame. Full blame in a relationship failure is never solely due to one person, even if it is something such as the lack of the other person being willing to communicate in such a way that adjustments in the relationship could have been made.
Similar to overcoming depression, you must replace incorrect, harmful thoughts with positive ones.
Why? Because your thoughts will influence the direction of your life. A book by Creflo Dollar describes the pattern of our lives very effectively. He describes it this way:
-Your thoughts, whether positive or negative, will create your emotions.
-Those emotions will then influence your decisions.
-Your decisions cause you to take action.
-Actions form habits or your lifestyle.
-Those habits determine your destiny — the final destination of your life.
You can follow the reference to read more about Creflo’s book. Realize now the absolute necessity of not allowing your thoughts of the rejection to continue. If you do, those thoughts of rejection will produce self-defeating emotions and decisions, leading to destructive lifestyle habits. You will cause your destiny to be directed by a harmful person! Instead, you must choose to change your thoughts to beneficial ones that will direct you to the destiny you desire! (1)
This is Part 1 of a 2 part post. In Part 2, we will cover several ways to replace thoughts of rejection as well as how to move forward with your life.
(1) Click here to read the article on Determining Your Destiny which lists Creflo’s 8 steps to direct the course of your life to your goals and restoration.Print This
Tags: 8 Steps to Create the Life, Creflo Dollar, criticism, emotional healing, emotional pain, God's love, rejection, relationships, restoration, self esteem, self worth, wholeness