Loving Your Life

In each of us is the innate desire to live a life that we truly love.

I read a valuable article which covers many essential aspects of rebuilding your life to be the healthy, effective life that you desire to live. Kim Child’s article featured quotes from 3 life coach experts, footnoted below, to explain how to make lasting changes for a life that you will love. She discovered most effective life makeovers involve starting with (a) small steps, (b) setting boundaries, and (c) reaching out for support. Here are excerpts from the main points in Ms. Child’s article:

First, look at what is already working well in your life.

Even when a person feels like everything in his life must be changed, usually there are some things that are working well which should be noted and appreciated. Life coach Victoria Moran suggests to list 10 things for which you are grateful about in your life each morning before getting out of bed.(1)

Second, take time for prayer, meditation, and/or journaling before the day’s agenda begins.

This is essential to craft a health lifestyle and stay centered [on what is healthful, best, and important] in the midst of change.(1)

Third, it is importance to focus on a daily plan of nutrition and exercise.

Moran refers to this as “taking care of the vehicle,” saying, “Regardless of what you want in life, you have to get it in this physical body…You’re not going to have a very good shot at changing your attitude and thinking positive thoughts if those thoughts have to be filtered through a brain that is living on junk food and doesn’t have enough oxygen because you don’t exercise.(1)

Fourth, once one has begun to make positive changes, he needs to clean up the environment in which the old, self-destructive habits flourished.

Ms. Childs next refers to life coach Cheryl Richardson for input on how people pleasers have to start saying “No” and setting boundaries where boundaries did not exist before. Ms. Richardson says that as people learn to practice taking better care of themselves, former habits in relationships need to change. “In order to live a high-quality life – a life that truly honors your self-care — you have to master the art of disappointing people, making them angry or hurting their feelings.” Avoiding the discomfort of displeasing others results in “living for others, becoming resentful or even sick, and struggling with relationships when resentments build.” Richardson advises people to think ahead of time of a response that is truthful, respectful, but direct enough to communicate that you are saying “No.”(2)  [This is similar to the chapter from Cloud and Townsend’s “Boundaries” in which says it is often necessary to hurt people to do what is right and healthy for you; this does not “harm” the person, even though it may hurt their feelings. This realization helps you implement such changes. Click here to read the post, When is Pain Good? ]

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Fifth, starting over with re-making one’s life means setting boundaries for yourself, too, by changing areas that are messy, neglected, or out of balance.

Home and work environments need to be de-cluttered to “honor your deepest need for things like joy, beauty, rest, creative expression, and peace.” Investing in these basic needs first will then allow one to focus successfully on areas such as financial debt and poor relationships. An uncluttered home is soul nourishing and an investment in your financial health. With relationships that are “one way streets, you need to focus on telling the truth in your relationships and letting toxic people go.”(2)

Sixth, create a circle of support to practice self-care and stay on track as your true dreams and desires become more apparent.

This is especially necessary when family members or friends do not understand or appreciate one’s new ways. Without support and accountability, old habits will slip back in, causing you to fall short of success. These support groups are essential to keep you from feeling that you have lost your mind when family and friends are lacking in understanding.(2)

Seventh, envision the life that you dream of having.

[As with the Law of Attraction, and even with the scriptural principle of visualization that God gave Abraham for his promised descendants, it is important to be able to visualize where your life needs to go. For more on this, read the post Visualizing Your Dreams.] As described by Bob Doyle in his program “Wealth Beyond Reason,” a person’s thoughts, emotions, and expectations shape their life experiences.”   Doyle also encourages a network of support, making the valid point that “It doesn’t matter how much you know intellectually about a particular thing, there’s always going to be somebody who sees you differently than you are able to see yourself.”(3)

Excerpts from “Fall in Love with Your Life,” Kim Childs, pp. 24-27, Natural Awakenings, February 2009 issue.

(1) Quotes from life coach Victoria Moran’s “Living a Charmed Life: Your Guide to Finding Magic in Every Moment and Meaning in Every Day.”
(2) Quotes from life coach Cheryl Richardson’s “The Art of Extreme Self-Care.”
(3) Quotes from Bob Doyle’s at BoundlessLiving.com

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