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Most of us have been taught that you should never ask if you can do something yourself. Is “asking” always wrong or is there an art to an essential form of “asking?”

I recently came across an article by a fellow SelfGrowth.com expert and motivational speaker, Judy Davis of TheDirectionDiva.com called, “Go Ahead and Ask For It.” Judy very aptly discusses what I call “the art of asking,” explaining why asking is an essential art for personal growth, and when it is right and when it is not. See the footnote below for Judy’s full article and websites.

Judy admits that most people were raised that it is, at the very least, impolite, or even wrong to ask for something, whether it is help, support, or direction; many people have been led to believe that asking gives the impression that they are incapable of doing something for themselves.  These are concepts that Judy says are necessary to outgrow. An important opening quote from Judy’s article challenges us,

How can you generate anything new if you don’t ask questions?  Is it possible to create opportunities without asking for more information?  If you look at any successful person, they have developed the skill of asking for what they want. (1)

Here are paraphrases of Judy’s comments on asking the right way and for the right purposes:

-Find resources/people that can connect you to opportunities you cannot access on your own.
-Request help in a strategic, well thought-out way.
-Request help in a way that is mutually beneficial. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Our most popular post of the year is back—the bi-annual Reader’s Choice Awards!  Here are the top posts so far this year in each category as chosen by you, our Readers!  Enjoy!

2 Minute Reflections

Lifestyle: Enjoyable or Tolerable?

Merton Quotes on Self Esteem and Forgiveness

Personal Reflections

No Need for Guilt

Planning for Life

Reader Questions

Guilty Feelings to Self Esteem

Discerning Compatibility in Relationships

Relationship Issues Question and Answer Part 1

Why Doesn’t God Heal Me?

Does Love Have to be Earned?

Physical Reflections

Probiotics: Which Should You Take?

Natural Lupus Treatment and Lifestyle Changes Part 2

Six Body Detox Ideas for a Safe, Easy Body Cleanse

Natural Osteoporosis Treatment

Arthritis Treatment

How much do you live life in the present moment?  Or is your daily life a constant mental battle between past problems and future concerns?

I’ve mentioned that I’ve been reading again through Dr. Richard Carlson’s book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.”  I wasn’t going to make another reference to it but then I came across the chapter on being present-minded or “living on purpose,” as author, Dawna Markova, also challenges.  The tendency to not live present-minded is such a wide spread mental trap that most people unknowingly fall into — one which literally steals the joy out of life — that I could not deprive you of the opportunity to discuss it again. 

Listen to this quote from Dr. Carlson which aptly describes not living a present-minded life:

We allow past problems and future concerns to dominate our present moments, so much so that we end up anxious, frustrated, depressed, and hopeless.  On the flip side, we also postpone our gratification, our stated priorities, and our happiness, convincing ourselves that “someday” will be better than today.  While we’re busy Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

How clear cut is your goal?  Is it clear enough to see in your mind’s eye?

A vital part of goal setting is to be able to literally visualize your goal.  You need to see yourself there.  Once you see yourself there, you will become much more successful at staying in a state of mental alertness; this state of alertness enables you to then see the goal-related paths and opportunities as well as make decisions which help, and not hinder, your goals.

Evaluate what percentage of your mental/emotional focus is on your goal.

Present situations can be a hindrance if you allow yourself to stay focused on them instead of your goal.  You will set yourself back if your focus is on where you are, and all the present circumstances you are unhappy with, instead of where you want to go or what you Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Do you live life hurried, fearful, and competitive because you feel it is necessary to achieve your goals?

Living life as if in a constant state of emergency in your attempt to reach your goals or be a superachiever is an enormous drain mentally and physically and is completely unnecessary.

Best-selling author Richard Carlson, in “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff (1),” challenges the commonly held belief—sometimes even unknowingly—that a hurried, frantic, and competitive mindset and lifestyle are necessary for success. 

Dr. Carlson eradicates the idea of living as a franctic superachiever: 

1. Put to rest the idea that, if you stopped being frantic and competitive, you would become lazy and apathetic. The opposite is true.
2. Fearful thinking actually drains your creativity and motivation. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

Unstoppable determination could be the missing key to achieving your goals.

How determined are you to reach your goals?  Are you so determined that nothing can make you quit?  Or, do seemingly unmovable obstacles cause you to lose heart and let up on your efforts?

A key factor in overcoming obstacles and reaching your goals is having the discipline and determination to not quit when you hit the wall.

A favorite illustration of mine is one I read about an athletic term called, “hitting the wall.”  In the book footnoted below, the author used the illustration to refer to one making good progress through life and then being hit by severe financial trouble, failure, or sickness.  You are stopped cold in your tracks. However,
when faced with seemingly unmovable obstacles, it is not the time
Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Dear Receive Healing Readers,

I just wanted to make you aware of the new Floating Social Networking Bar on the site. We removed the old social networking links. This new Social Networking Bar floats at the bottom of your screen and stays there even as you scroll down the page.

It adjusts to feature the Social Networking companies that are used most by the people in your specific country!

We hope you enjoy it!

ReceiveHealing.com

Evaluating your leadership skills is an important part of achieving effectiveness.

Unfortunately, good intentions are not enough for effective leadership.  We have worked with an organization that had a change in leadership.  The leadership has good heart, good intentions, but the organization has suffered decline under their guidance. 

Why good intentions are not enough? 

I recently came across a brief, but well-detailed article on leadership skills by Dr. John Maxwell called, “Momentum Breakers Vs. Momentum Makers.”  Links to the full online article are below.  While reading it, I was able to glean good insight for my own life and abilities as well as see more clearly why all the good intentions in the world are not Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Identifying and releasing underlying causes of anger and resentment are a necessary part of personal growth.

Fellow SelfGrowth.com expert, Cassandra Lee– speaker, coach, and author– posted an article describing her personal technique of dealing with resentment and anger.  I wanted to share a few excerpts from the article with you as well as give you a link to the full article.

Ms. Lee describes the need to analyze your actions, discover the source, and confront the issue at hand for resolution.

In her article, Ms. Lee describes a situation with a friend that caused her anger and resentment.  The friend was unaware that his actions created these negatives, but in Ms. Lee’s mind, the situation grew until, when she saw him 2 days later, she treated him so coldly that they did not speak to each other for a month.  This is a quote about her technique to deal with resentment and anger: Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Thomas Merton is well known for journaling spiritual meditations that have challenged countless people in bettering their daily lives and relationships with God and man. I enjoyed going through many of his quotes this week and wanted to share with you the ones related to:

• Self Esteem
• Forgiving Yourself
• Balance in Self Sacrifice and
• Rest

Merton on Self Esteem:

We cannot achieve greatness unless we lose all interest in being great. If we pay too much attention to [our idea of greatness], we will be lured out of the peace and stability…God gave us, and seek to live in a myth we have created for ourselves. We are truly ourselves when we lose the futile self consciousness that keep us constantly comparing ourselves with others in order to see how big we are.

We all seek to imitate one another’s imagined greatness….If I do not know who I am, it is because I think I am the sort of person everyone around me wants me to be. Perhaps I have never asked myself whether I wanted to become what everybody else seems to want to become. Perhaps if I only realized Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

When you look at your life, is your lifestyle one of true enjoyment, solely maintenance, or survivable chaos?

I mentioned recently about the need to “plan for life,” especially when life’s responsibilities appear to be squeezing your dreams out of the picture and life becomes a process solely of maintenance. However, I have been reminded how easy it is for people to believe their lifestyles are intended to be chaotic to be fulfilling.

My spouse has been doing business for the past year with a couple whose lives are in a constant state of chaos — by choice. The one person’s personality lends to feeling that this state of chaos is necessary for a fulfilling life. Both of them, being in a religious environment, either consciously or subconsciously believe that this state of “chaos” is a matter of religious sacrifice or higher calling. Working in religious fields, I’ve seen this concept too often in religious people, and unknowingly lived by that philosophy myself in my 20’s and 30’s. The effects of this barely tolerable lifestyle are already becoming visible in their business decisions, as time for restful meditation is lacking, and in their kids.

If your lifestyle is not one of true enjoyment, the mental perspective needs to be engrained that a healthy, restful way of life is intended by design and necessary for fulfillment. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

If you are a giver and your giving has left yourself in need, it is time to re-prioritize.

In actuality, all the people you love, those that you have expended yourself to help and sacrificed your own well-being, will be better off after you re-focus on self help! This article by fellow SelfGrowth.com professional, Lori Snyder, covers 10 basic steps for getting back to daily care for yourself.

Lori admits that she herself was so busy with everyone else’s needs that she sidelined her own needs, only to discover that the reality was, by neglecting her own needs and not meeting them first, she was not able to give her best to those she loves. These are brief excerpts from Ms. Snyder’s article. Use the link in the footnote below to read the full article.

1. Start each day filled with gratitude for all that you are…Appreciate the beauty all around you. [I would suggest, at the beginning, to make a list of self appreciation points. If you’ve neglected yourself for a long time, it will be difficult at the beginning to really focus on your own value.]

2. Count your blessings for the people who you love and who love you…They all come, and some go, for a reason.

3. Take a moment of silence for yourself to meditate, and think about what your needs of the day are, and what you would like to accomplish.

4. Be mindful of your health, and incorporate a wellness schedule into your week. Exercise, eat healthy, get enough rest.

5. Look at your goals sheet quickly each week, and evaluate how you are doing with them. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

We at ReceiveHealing.com desire for your Thanksgiving day to be filled with gratitude for all the present good in your life, hope for your dreams and goals to be accomplished, joy in all the events of the day that you experience!  May your spirit “grow stronger through your faith, as you were taught, overflowing with thanksgiving (Col.2:7).”

Reading Level: Leisurely

Everyone wants to love and be loved; making some small changes can greatly improve your relationships and the quality of your love.

Richard Carlson, PhD, has perfected the art of quick, practical tips to improve your life with his “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” series of books. His books have been bestsellers for years. He and his wife co-wrote “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love.” I would recommend this book to anyone, even if you are single, as it will do wonders for your interpersonal relationships. See the ISBN in the footnotes to read his full book.

Here are a few easy-to-understand, easy to implement phrased points from Dr. Carlson’s book for improving the quality of your love:

1. Don’t Do the Same Things and Expect Different Results: That’s an old saying we are all familiar with but it is the same in love relationships. If you know you react negatively in certain situations — overreacting, lashing out, knee-jerk reactions — and then suffer disappointing and negative responses in return, you have to choose to use new responses that will bring healthy results.

2. Avoid Correcting Each Other: This point is not referring to an isolated incident but the habit of publicly correcting the person you love when it is absolutely unnecessary. It is disrespectful and damaging to the relationship. Are not the feelings of the person you love more important than technicalities? Most all people resent being corrected. Unless it is of extreme importance, keep the correction to yourself. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

Everyone desires to be in better control of achieving the life they desire.

I recently read a post by one of my favorite bloggers, Susan Hanshaw of Sanctuary for Change. Susan just turned 50 and did some re-evaluation which resulted in the realization that she wanted a different level of control in her life now than what she had experienced during her first 50 years.

Here is an excerpt from her post on “How to Take Control of Your Life” with 5 points to make you more effective in that area.

Use the link below to read Susan’s full post:

I pretty much let the energy of life pull me along for my first 50 years…Now I am feeling a lot more motivated to step in and take control. 

How do you take control of your life?

1. Acknowledge that your life needs the same kind of planning that you give your weekends. We all have a lot more power to create awesome lives than we recognize. It starts with direction.
2. Set aside time to focus on what you want to create with your life. Let dreams be born and believed in.
3. Begin every day focused on your vision. Recognize that your attention fuels whatever you focus on. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »