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Want to reduce stresses with relatives in your holiday family gatherings?  Here’s a collection of tips from 3 different authors to tell you how.

(This is one of the classic holiday “help” articles– a good reminder for each of us each Christmas/New Year’s season.)

These tips by Connie Ragen Green are excerpts from her holiday stress article, Dealing With The Three Types of Difficult People. Use the link in the footnotes to read her full article.

• The person who won’t stop talking -The best thing you can do for this person is to just listen. See if there are others who will share this listening with you. Try asking them about something that you are also interested in.
• The person who has to be right -The best way to handle this person is to praise them. They will beam like a young child when you compliment them.
• The person who has to be the center of attention – Ask their opinion on something. They will enjoy the chance to tell you what they think and may even have some great ideas.

These tips to minimize your stress while spending holidays with the relatives are excerpts from E.K. Tirado’s article, Three Ways to Cope with Difficult Relatives During the Holidays. Use the link in the footnotes to read the full article.

1) Change what you can, and do not fret about what you can’t change. Too many times the cause of our stress derives from our need to change people Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Feeling like Ebenezer Scrooge? It’s time to take in a few tips and reclaim your Christmas Spirit!

I came across some good, brief tips to de-stress your holiday from an article by blog author Sara Ananya Shah. These are only summaries. Please use the link below to read her full article.  (This is one of the classic holiday “help” articles– a good reminder for each of us each Christmas/New Year’s season.)

1. Shop at home - Shop online as much as possible. The selection is better and many retailers offer free shipping for the holidays.

2. Shop with friends - If you must go out shopping, take a friend along and then relax together afterward with a cup of coffee or cocoa.

3. Have friends and relatives – If you have a dinner with relatives that you dread, invite a friend along, or a specific friendlier relative.

4. Break down chores – For example, don’t do Christmas dinner all at once. [Freeze ahead or] Do as much as possible the day before. If you write out Christmas cards, do a few each night at bedtime.

5. Make due dates – Plan to get your goals done by December 22nd so you can have some time to relax.

6. Exercise – A 20 minute walk will immediately lift your mood and reduce stress hormones.

7. Don’t overeat – You’ll feel happier and healthier.

8. Get “ME” time – Take at least 15 minutes a day to listen to relaxing music, walk, or something else that will make you happy.

Click here to read the full article by Sara Ananya Shah, Holiday Stress Relief: Tips to Reclaim Your Christmas Spirit. Ms. Shah is author of the parenting blog, Loving Your Child.

After a year of severe economic crises in various countries, I came across a true, challenging story to the wisdom of a grateful focus even in economic drought.  The story is of a farmer’s response to physical drought, but the wisdom still applies to the stresses created by our world economies. 

When R.H.Schuller was growing up, drought ravaged their family farm. They prayed for rain that never came. His Dad, who normally harvested 100 wagon loads of corn, reaped only half a wagon full. Schuller says, “I’ll never forget it. His calloused hands holding ours as he looked up and prayed, ‘Thank you Lord, I’ve lost nothing. I’ve regained all the seed I planted in spring.’ While other farmers were saying, ‘We lost 90 or 100 loads,’ my father told me, ‘Never count the might-have-beens or you will be defeated. Never look at what you have lost, only look at what you have left.’ ” 1

Many of you have lost much financially this year.  I challenge you to remove your focus from what you’ve lost –so you will not be defeated– and focus on every incredible good that you still have in life, be it health, a home, family, friends, past victories, dreams for the future. Be undefeated!  Keep a grateful focus on what you still have!

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There is no need to stay stuck in the misery of a bad day.

I cam across a very practical, helpful article by psychologist and life coach Melissa McCreery with tips to move on from the guilt, anger, hurt, or frustrations of a bad day and get back to the peace and productivity of a positive mindset.

Ms. McCreery says that the secret to thriving is learning how to move forward in spite of bad days.

Here are some excerpts of from Melissa’s article, “How to Recover from a Bad Day:”

1. Give yourself permission to have a bad day. Stop beating yourself up so that you can move on. Let go of blame and guilt, realizing that a bad day does not mean you failed.

2. Ask, “What will I need to let go of to do move on?” You must be willing to stop beating yourself up, feeling miserable (or hurt or angry), drowning your sorrows, or feeling victimized.

3. Decide what do you want to move on TO?   How do you want things to be? How do you want to feel? What do you want your Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Regardless of the stresses you are facing, you have the power to choose your thoughts and, as a result, choose your well-being.

It may seem an illogical and impossible statement, but it is truth none-the-less.  Regardless of your circumstances, you choose your thoughts, and subsequently, your state of mind and personal well-being.  People throughout history have proven it true, usually in circumstances far worse than what most of us will ever experience.

One of my favorite examples is Dr. Viktor E. Frankl, whom I have mentioned before.  He is an Austrian Jew who was sent to a concentration camp with his family during World War II.

We who lived in concentration camps can remember men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

You can do a quick self-test for your level of anxiety, fear, or stress.

Performing this test will help you determine how much anxiety, fear, and stress are affecting your life, as well as some of the possible root causes. The official name of the test is the Rhomberg neurologic test and it will immediately show if you suffer from low level anxiety syndrome.

Stand with your feet put together. Then stand on your tips toes. Now close your eyes. If you cannot keep your balance once you close your eyes, you have low level anxiety syndrome. People who pass the test and can keep their balance while their eyes are closed will have an anxiety level of 10 during an immediate fearful situation, but the next day be back to level 1. Those with low level anxiety syndrome stay at an anxiety level or 4 or 5 all the time.

You may recognize these other common physical symptoms associated with low level anxiety syndrome.

People with low level anxiety often have numerous allergies. They are also sensitive to scents such as perfumes or newsprint. Caffeine may keep them up all night. In addition, they are usually very sensitive to even small doses of prescription and over-the-counter drugs.

The source of low level anxiety syndrome is holding on to undesirable emotions.

If you didn’t pass the test and realize that you live in a constant state of low level anxiety, evaluate which of the following undesirable emotions are the source of your anxiety. People who are perfectionists often suffer from low level anxiety. Unresolved bitterness Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

It is a good thing, every year, to evaluate what things from the past you are still pouring energy into that never became as fruitful or beneficial as you planned.

We all have areas in our lives where, in the past, we began investing great time and energy.  We stuck with that particular thing through the years out of habit or routine.  The investment of energy became just a part of life.  You can gain greater satisfaction by freeing your life of areas that are a drain on your energy and unprofitable to your overall wellness.  The time or energy invested is truly no longer worth the value you are getting from it.

What types of things can now be unprofitable investments for your life energies?

–Sometimes there are daily or weekly habits that were a part of goals from the past that are no longer worth your energies.  Why?  You change in your desires and maturity as you age.  Certain things that were goals are no longer Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Do you consider yourself a “perpetual worrier?”

Is there always something in your life about which you are worrying? Do family pressures, financial pressures, and hectic schedules that are part of normal everyday life overload you with stress and anxiety to the point of negatively affecting your physical health, emotional health, and spiritual well-being? If so, you certainly are not alone. You can learn to have a worry-free life, but it takes some changes in your thought patterns.

First, remember that worrying does not accomplish anything positive for you.

Along this thought, Jesus said, “Who of you by worrying and being anxious can add a single unit of measure to the span of his life (Mt.6:27 Amp)?” Imagine that! All the volumes of time and energy you put into worrying will not even accomplish something as small as adding a single second to the length of your life! And, as many doctors and studies show, it is proven to do just the opposite and remove time from the length of your life as well as from its quality.

Second, realize that you cannot put trust for your well being in physical objects.

There is a very famous discourse by Jesus on worry in Matthew 6. Most people think it begins in verse 25, but I think verses 19-24 are actually a significant part of the instructions, particularly verse 24 which says,

No one can serve two masters for he will stand by and be devoted to one and despise and be against the other. You cannot serve God and deceitful riches, money, possessions as what is trusted in.

This quote is not condemning money, but rather the concept of being deceived into putting your trust in money and possessions. If your trust is there, you will still worry about the safety and stability of your life. I had a friend who had been very wealthy in her younger days, before her husband died. She loved to talk about the house she had and how she used to wear a different pair of shoes to work every day of the year! However, in spite of all her wealth, she said they went to bed every night worrying about whether or not they had put their money in the right investments. Admit to yourself that money, possessions, and investments will not keep you worry free. Neither can they be counted on for life-long stability. The world is full of stories of people of great wealth who lost everything overnight. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Even in the midst of fearful circumstances, focusing on the fear itself or the cause of it can hinder a positive outcome.

I’m going to approach the subject of fear in different way here than I normally would. We’re going to look at a circumstance described in history and outline points that you can apply to the fearful circumstance you are presently facing or may face in the future. The reference is out of Mt.14:26-32, and whether or not you are a believer in the historical accuracy of this account, its principles are still applicable.

Here is the description in the Amplified translation. [I prefer the Amplified for study because it gives more detail as to the meaning of the original Greek words; most translations limit the text to a “word for word” translation when many languages -- such as Greek, Hebrew, Arabic -- have much broader concepts included in their individual words.]

And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified and said, “It is a ghost!” And they screamed out with fright. But instantly He spoke to them, saying, Take courage! I AM! Stop being afraid! And Peter answered Him, Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water. He said, Come! So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water, and he came toward Jesus. But when he perceived and felt the strong wind, he was frightened, and as he began to sink, he cried out, Lord, save me from death! Instantly Jesus reached out His hand and caught and held him, saying to him, O you of little faith, why did you doubt? And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased.

Let’s apply this situation point for point to our own fearful situations, learning from both the positive and negative responses in the story.

1. Notice Jesus’ response to the men’s fear — He “instantly spoke” when they cried out in terror, vv.26,27. Jesus, Father God’s revelation of Himself and His character to us, shows an immediate, interactive response to Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

You can gain greater satisfaction by freeing your life of areas that are a drain on your energy and unprofitable to your overall wellness.

We all have areas in our lives where, in the past, we began investing great time and energy. We stuck with that particular thing through the years out of habit or routine. The investment of energy became just a part of life. It is a good thing, every year, to evaluate what things from the past you are still pouring energy into that never became fruitful or beneficial as you planned. The time or energy invested is truly no longer worth the value you are getting from it.

What types of things can now be unprofitable investments for your life energies?

–Sometimes there are daily or weekly habits that were a part of goals from the past that are no longer worth your energies. Why? You change in your desires and maturity as you age. Certain things that were goals are no longer of importance to you. Is there anything like that in your life? Free up that time and energy for new goals that fit with the person you are now.

–There are often projects in which we have been investing time, energy, and finances which are no longer Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Living without the buffer of a margin in your finances, schedule, and even energy level will cause you to live daily life in an unnecessary state of stress and exhaustion.

What is a margin? 

Dr. Don Colbert defines a margin as “a buffer between feelings of being overwhelmed and feeling at peace (1).”  According to Dr. Richard Swenson in The Overload Syndrome, “a margin is the difference between vitality and exhaustion (1).”  Either way you define a margin, the definition is something anyone would desire in his or her daily life.

What are the typical scenarios of living life without a buffer? 

Schedule-wise, an example is giving yourself only enough time to get ready to leave the house for an appointment so that any phone calls or other unexpected items which require your attention suddenly put you under the stress of possibly being late.  Or, another schedule example without a margin is only leaving with just enough time to arrive for an appointment providing you have a high percentage of green lights and no traffic jams.  

Financially, many people create continual stress and anxiety by Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

There is no need to stay stuck in the misery of a bad day.

I cam across a very practical, helpful article by psychologist and life coach Melissa McCreery with tips to move on from the guilt, anger, hurt, or frustrations of a bad day and get back to the peace and productivity of a positive mindset.

Ms. McCreery says that the secret to thriving is learning how to move forward in spite of bad days.

Here are some excerpts of from Melissa’s article, “How to Recover from a Bad Day:”

1. Give yourself permission to have a bad day. Stop beating yourself up so that you can move on. Let go of blame and guilt, realizing that a bad day does not mean you failed.

2. Ask, “What will I need to let go of to do move on?” You must be willing to stop beating yourself up, feeling miserable (or hurt or angry), drowning your sorrows, or feeling victimized.

3. Decide what do you want to move on TO?   How do you want things to be? How do you want to feel? What do you want your mindset or mental attitude to be?

4. Take a look in the mirror at your posture and facial expressions; make sure you aren’t still carrying your bad day with you. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

Regardless of the stresses you are facing, you have the power to choose your thoughts and, as a result, choose your well-being.

It may seem an illogical and impossible statement, but it is truth none-the-less.  Regardless of your circumstances, you choose your thoughts, and subsequently, your state of mind and personal well-being.  People throughout history have proven it true, usually in circumstances far worse than what most of us will ever experience.

One of my favorite examples is Dr. Viktor E. Frankl, whom I have mentioned before.  He is an Austrian Jew who was sent to a concentration camp with his family during World War II.

We who lived in concentration camps can remember men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.  Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor E. Frankl

Whatever circumstances you are presently you going through, any situations you may yet face, Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Gratifying

Do you consider yourself a “perpetual worrier?”

Is there always something in your life about which you are worrying? Do family pressures, financial pressures, and hectic schedules that are part of normal everyday life overload you with stress and anxiety to the point of negatively affecting your physical health, emotional health, and spiritual well-being? If so, you certainly are not alone. You can learn to have a worry-free life, but it takes some changes in your thought patterns.

First, remember that worrying does not accomplish anything positive for you.

Along this thought, Jesus said, “Who of you by worrying and being anxious can add a single unit of measure to the span of his life (Mt.6:27 Amp)?” Imagine that! All the volumes of time and energy you put into worrying will not even accomplish something as small as adding a single second to the length of your life! And, as many doctors and studies show, it is proven to do just the opposite and remove time from the length of your life as well as from its quality.

Second, realize that you cannot put trust for your well being in physical objects.

There is a very famous discourse by Jesus on worry in Matthew 6. Most people think it begins in verse 25, but I think verses 19-24 are actually a significant part of the instructions, particularly verse 24 which says,

No one can serve two masters for he will stand by and be devoted to one and despise and be against the other. You cannot serve God and deceitful riches, money, possessions as what is trusted in.

This quote is not condemning money, but rather the concept of being deceived into putting your trust in money and possessions. If your trust is there, you will still worry about the safety and stability of your life. I had a friend who had been very wealthy in her younger days, before her husband died. She loved to talk about the house she had and how she used to wear a different pair of shoes to work every day of the year! However, in spite of all her wealth, she said they went to bed every night worrying about whether or not they had put their money in the right investments. Admit to yourself that money, possessions, and investments will not keep you worry free. Neither can they be counted on for life-long stability. The world is full of stories of people of great wealth who lost everything overnight. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

Insomnia affects multiple areas of one’s life, such as health, weight gain, anxiety levels, relationships, memory, and work proficiency.

A Forbes.com posted an article today on 14 possible causes of insomnia. By identifying possible causes, you can make the necessary lifestyle changes or talk with your physician. Here are excerpts on the possible causes. Please use the link below to read the full article.

Depression And Anxiety - It’s estimated that 40 percent to 50 percent of people with insomnia also have depression or an anxiety disorder. Research shows the connection is present in children, too.

Environment – Some of us are more sensitive to noise. It’s also believed to be better to have a cool rather than warm bedroom. The cooling off effect you experience after drinking warm milk or taking a warm bath helps you feel sleepy.

Marital Strife – Research has shown that married people tend to have fewer sleep problems than those who are divorced. Studies show happily married women had fewer troubles falling asleep, staying asleep, fewer early morning awakenings and more restful sleep.

Being With Baby - A University study shows that parents’ sleep and their satisfaction with the infant’s nighttime behavior was worse when the infants spent any part of the night with parents versus those who slept apart.

Medication - selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), antidepressants cause insomnia, talk to your doctor about your prescriptions. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »