You can choose to respond to fearful situations in ways other than panic, being withdrawn, or some other solely, defensive protective mode. You have the option of choosing not to react to your fear, letting it manipulate you, but to think creatively, outside of the box, and discover responses that will actually enhance your life.

A recent study of the economy illustrates that most people react to fear instead of being creatively proactive.

The present economic situation in the US has affected all kinds of businesses, large and small. One of the categories of institutions largely affected is charitable organizations. Statistician George Barna of the Barna Group recently posted 3 articles with the results of his year long study of how the economy affected churches and other non-profit organizations, as well as how the churches responded to the fearful economic situation.

What stood out to me was Barna’s comments that most churches responded, in my terminology, by reacting to the economy, rather than seeing opportunities to respond creatively and actually enhance their situation and the lives of the people in their communities. Many churches adjusted budgets, cut spending, and cut staff. While it is the right thing to do to re-evaluate the budget and eliminate unnecessary spending, Barna notes, “For the most part, church leaders seem to have been in a hunker-down mode, attempting to get through the tough economy…”, a protective fear response. Similar to most people in fearful situations, few organizations set fear aside enough to think proactively and see where the current economic situation was actually providing new opportunities to interact with the community in helpful ways. Regarding this Barna says,

When pastors were asked to identify the changes they had made as a result of the economic downturn only about one out of every eight church leaders (13%) identified what might be described as activities that proactively position the church as a valuable resource to churchgoers and to those in the community.

This included hosting support groups and classes for those with have lost jobs, classes for those experiencing money problems, increasing the amount of prayer, provide financial counseling, and offering special talks on how to handle money problems. This next quote is not to speak negatively of the church organizations in any way, but to notice how often each of us respond the exact same way to crises situations in our lives.

Yet, the surprise is how few churches seem to have clearly and intentionally developed a proactive response to the downturn. Perhaps they have been so busy keeping the programs running that they have failed to see the significant opportunities as well as unique challenges represented in the new economic reality… Like so many others, church leaders have been focused on surviving; now is the time, though, to calibrate ministries and strategies to the opportunities brought by the new economy.

Similarly, whatever your fear situation, you do not want to just survive but thrive by seeing and implementing new opportunities.

Make a new effort to step back emotionally from your present fearful situation. Sometimes it helps to think about it as if it were someone else’s problem and what you would advise them to do, viewing it from the outside. If you cannot do this on your own, you may need to get help from a counselor, pastor, or a trusted, wise friend. Open your mind to the option of thinking creatively; take the offensive and look for ways to be creatively proactive, taking life-enhancing measures that will put you on the road to conquering your fearful situation, or at least living life a level above it.

Quotes are from “The Economies Impact on Churches (Part 2 of 3): How Churches Have Adapted” by Barna Group, Barna.org

Do you have a clear perspective of daily being grateful for the life you are now living—in spite of any unreached goals—and for what you already possess?  Or do you become easily disgruntled due to comparing your life and possessions with those of others’?

The other day I read an illustrated lesson for children on thankfulness in which the teacher had hidden various amounts of candy under the students’ chairs in the classroom. As the children came in and sat down, they settled in for the day’s lesson, content in their present circumstances, having nothing extra beyond that with which they entered the room. After the teacher announced that there was candy hidden under each chair, the students immediately became discontent upon discovering that the amounts of candy were not the same. The main points the teacher drew out for the students’ from that experience were:

1. Each student was content when he or she came in the classroom, having only the things that were already in their possession. They could have easily continued to be content by being grateful solely for what they already had.

2. When the students’ compared the varying amounts of candy they had received, they were immediately discontent; yet, each of them now possessed more than when they came in the room. Each of them could have felt appreciation for the fact that they had received a gift and had more than they did a few moments before.

When you start the comparison game between your life and the lives of others, you will frustrate your own ability to be grateful.

Though the above illustration seems humorous to us, as adults, we really are not much different than the children.

1. Once you start the comparison game, your ability to be grateful is greatly hindered. There is too much temptation to put emotional emphasis on not possessing what someone else owns.

2. Not only does comparison stifle appreciation for what you presently possess, but it often develops ingratitude for the future gifts you receive. One can end up subconsciously ignoring the love and spirit in which a gift was given all because it was not equal in material value to something someone else possesses.

Benefit your daily life with greater senses of happiness and fulfillment just by choosing a perspective that is grateful.

Survey your present circumstances and make note of your appreciation for all the good you are now experiencing, regardless of any unreached dreams and goals.

Begin to expand your attitude of daily gratitude by making an actual, physical list of the people, situations, experiences, environment, and, yes, even possessions for which you are thankful. Use the list each morning and night for a few days until you are easily able to make mental notes of the various aspects of your life for which you are grateful without using the list.

Realizing the blessings you already have and actively feeling grateful for them frees you to exist in the present in a state of happiness as well as experience joy for each new gift that comes into your life! Enjoy your life now! Be happy now! Enjoy the benefits of being grateful!

Though most everyone is aware of the old expression, acting on it truly empowers your life.

Like the old expression of whether a glass is half full or half empty, how you daily perceive your life, as either half full or half empty, will determine whether you empower yourself to succeed and be happy or drain the very life force (energy-wise) from your day-to-day existence.

Grasping the urgency of this concept can be a key factor to restoration.

I have been recently talking with a friend who has not yet grasped the urgency of this concept in bringing restoration to his life.  He was in a very abusive family relationship. The controlling, self-motivated spouse lived a destructive lifestyle that deeply affected every member of that family. Eventually, even the children as they became adults began to adopt many of her user/abuser behavior traits. Eventually, my friend’s life came completely crashing down around him with the loss of his physical and emotional health, self worth, career, and financial stability. He has been out of the household for about 8 months, though career issues and financial problems caused by the relationship aren’t remedied by a geographic change. The effects from the amount of time – 20 years – in such a abusive relationship are not easily or quickly corrected. Yet, day after day, my friend beats himself down in his thoughts by focusing on what has not yet been restored, i.e. a healthy family setting, new career, and freedom from debt.

By focusing on the “half full” in his journey to restoration, my friend could be living in a state of joy that would bring energy, creativity, vision, motivation, and awareness of good opportunities to his daily life.

Those of us around him can rejoice in the tremendous healings that have visibly taken place: his physical health is doing well, his personality and sense of humor have returned, he has free time/personal time, he is now surrounded by people who deeply love and support him instead of drain him and abuse him. These aspects alone would bring great consolation to many people who are in situations needing improvement. It could to him, too, if he would only allow it.

The decision to focus on what is not yet resolved will drain the life force from anyone’s day, making difficult any type of effectiveness and clarity of perception. In addition, staying focused on the problem causes you to only see the problem, not the solutions.

Look at these examples of life benefits from focusing on the “half full.”

The decision to focus on the “half full” part of my friend’s life would:

– bring joy resulting in greater physical, emotional, and spiritual energy
– cause him to believe that the unresolved issues can also be overcome
–bring him motivation to change the things immediately within his power to change
–enable him to envision greater achievements than in the present state of mind
– attract other “half full” perspective people to his life who’s creativity and effectiveness would (1) assist him and (2) inspire him
– bring peace that restoration is taking place and will come to completion
– greatly improve his self worth and sense of purpose

To live in the benefits of a life “half full” philosophy, you must decide that your wellness and restoration are more important than self pity.

Self pity is always destructive. Choose instead to love yourself enough to empower yourself for wellness and restoration. A life “half full” perspective enables you to believe that “fullness” will come. Restore to your life now the energy, creativity, effectiveness that will blossom under a “half full” mentality.

There is no need to stay stuck in the misery of a bad day.

I cam across a very practical, helpful article by psychologist and life coach Melissa McCreery with tips to move on from the guilt, anger, hurt, or frustrations of a bad day and get back to the peace and productivity of a positive mindset.

Ms. McCreery says that the secret to thriving is learning how to move forward in spite of bad days.

Here are some excerpts of from Melissa’s article, “How to Recover from a Bad Day:”

1. Give yourself permission to have a bad day. Stop beating yourself up so that you can move on. Let go of blame and guilt, realizing that a bad day does not mean you failed.

2. Ask, “What will I need to let go of to do move on?” You must be willing to stop beating yourself up, feeling miserable (or hurt or angry), drowning your sorrows, or feeling victimized.

3. Decide what do you want to move on TO?   How do you want things to be? How do you want to feel? What do you want your mindset or mental attitude to be?

4. Take a look in the mirror at your posture and facial expressions; make sure you aren’t still carrying your bad day with you.

5. What helps you to feel present in this moment? People accomplish this in different ways: deep breathing, physical activity, writing in a journal, or spending quiet time alone. Set your intention for how you want to BE in the present moment and into the future.

6. What special thing can you do for yourself? Call a friend, rent a movie, pick flowers, get a massage, take a long bath, etc. Bad day recovery plans need some self-care time.

7. What’s one thing small positive action you can commit to take just to know you are making progress? Do a good deed, workout, clean out one drawer. This goal is the first step toward to a positive track; when that’s done, take the next one.

Melissa is a fellow SelfGrowth.com expert. You can read more on Melissa McCreery, PhD, ACC, Psychologist and Life Coach on her SelfGrowth page or  her full website.

 What emotions do you experience when you think of your future?

Take a look at this self-evaluation quote from “8 Steps to Create the Life You Want:”

Have you ever wondered what your purpose in life is and what your future holds?…Picture your life twenty years from now. Does your current lifestyle predict that you will be happy and fulfilled, or disappointed and frustrated? Think about it. What does your bank account look like? How much retirement money have you set aside? How much debt do you owe? What are you doing to improve your health and well-being? How is your family really doing? The answers to these questions may be an indication that a few changes need to be made.(1)

Were the emotions you experienced from reading these questions positive or negative? Emotions result from the thoughts you’ve been thinking. As a result, those emotions dramatically impact your decisions.

If you are going to improve the quality of your decisions, you must first improve the quality of the words you speak/think about your life.

Controlling the words that you speak and think about your life is a foundational point for improving your life. Much like the Law of Attraction, if you are speaking and thinking negative words about your life, you will attract negative circumstances as well as negative responses from other people because that is what you are putting forth from your own person about your life.

How can you expect to have positive, life-changing ideas to accomplish your goals if your words and thoughts are focused on the negative? How will positive, successful people offer you productive opportunities if you are emanating defeat? It is essential to realize here that, even if your present circumstances are actually negative, speaking and thinking about the negative will only keep you there.

You alone are responsible for making changes to your words, thoughts, emotions, and ultimately-your decisions.

Since getting past the negative emotions that presently form your decisions is overcome by speaking and thinking positively about your needs and goals, it is a change that only you can make. Quit blaming others for holding you back. Start taking in positive input from articles or talks given by life coaches or successful business people that you admire. I’m now reading through the “8 Steps to Create…” by Creflo Dollar as his approach to life of taking control of your life by speaking and thinking positively has already greatly influenced myself and my spouse.

Here are some past posts on Controlling Your Thoughts/Words that will be helpful to you in the move to positive words and thoughts:

Take Charge of Your Thoughts, Take Charge of Your Life
Better Thoughts for a Better Life
Making Real Change to Thoughts, Feelings, or Behavior
Practical Ideas for Overcoming Fear

I challenge you to take responsibility now for improving your decisions until there are no negative emotions forming the decisions you make.

There is a famous quote by Eleanor Roosevelt regarding taking responsibility for your own decisions. It says,

One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes. In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And, the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.(2)

1. Creflo Dollar, 8 Steps to Create the Life You Want, p. 28
2. Eleanor Roosevelt Quote, QuotationsBook.com http://quotationsbook.com/quote/6544/

Table of contents for Living with Purpose

1. Living with Purpose and Living Your Purpose
2. Creating Your Purposeful Life Environment

Reading Level: Leisurely

Take a few moments to look at this example and write out the activities, people, and environment that will enable you to live your life with purpose.

This is Part 2 of this post. In Part 1, we talked about author Dawna Markova’s insight on Living with Purpose and looked at her “No Matter Whats” list which she developed as an example to help each of us write our own list of how to live lives with passion and purpose. If you did not read Part 1, please click here to read it.

Here is my “No Matter Whats” List:

What are the influences, activities, and people that cause me to live life with energy, fulfillment, and purpose?

No matter what, I need to be living and working in a spacious environment that encourages my creativity and visionary side.

No matter what, I need to be living and working in an environment with garden and ocean views that fill my body with pleasure, health, and energy.

No matter what, I need to live a lifestyle that provides times for prayer, meditation, healthy eating, exercise, relaxation, and friendship so that my mind, spirit, and body are all equally healthy.

No matter what, I need to work privately as an author, but also outwardly, impacting the world, so that all nations of the earth are blessed through me. (Gen.12:3)

No matter what, I need healthy relationship time with extended family members.

No matter what, I need interaction with people who enjoy nature, music, architecture, and find pleasure in the simple joys of life.

No matter what, I need a human atmosphere that is consistently pleasant, supportive in actions, and positive and constructive in attitudes.

No matter what, I need human atmosphere with people who enjoy thinking deep thoughts about life and spiritual matters and challenge the depth of my thinking.

No matter what, I, too, need to live and work in a climate that is interdependent, where the norm is people who feel equal responsibility for our environment, and are purpose driven to be live in the same loving, giving manner that I focus on living toward them.

And lastly, no matter what, I need to live and work in an environment that does not squelch creativity, but believes that even greater than what we dream of can be accomplished.

If you want to participate online, feel free to use the “Leave a Reply” or “Submit Your Comment” button to post the “No Matter Whats” list for your life. If your list is too personal, still make a working list that will help you break out of a habitual life to live a passionate, fulfilling, purposeful one!

Table of contents for Living with Purpose

1. Living with Purpose and Living Your Purpose
2. Creating Your Purposeful Life Environment

Reading Level: Leisurely

Do you feel that you are living the purpose for which your life exists and enjoying achieving it with passion?   Or do you feel that you are powerless, caught in a habitual life that you do not want?

This past week my brother mentioned to me a book by Dawna Markova. He said she is known for encouraging people to surround themselves with the environment, people, and activities that bring energy into their lives, rather than drain energy from their lives. I have read articles by other authors on that topic, but none by Dawna, so I decided to Google her and find out more. Dawna Markova, Ph.D, is an internationally known speaker and author who encourages people to” learn from our wounds, find our gifts, celebrate our values, and live our dreams to live on purpose and with passion.” One of her most popular books is, “Wide Open: On Living With Purpose and Passion.” She has many other great sounding books, as well as a blog, which you can find at DawnaMarkova.com  .

I also came across an article of Ms. Markova’s called, “Landscape of the Soul.”  She has a great illustration of how one can be trapped in an unfulfilling life of habit. She tells of a science experiment in which baby fish were raised in a small glass tank that was inside a larger glass tank of adult fish. Once the baby fish were grown, the small tank was removed, but the baby fish still would not swim beyond the place where the walls of the small tank had once been. The habit was more real than reality, even though reality provided them with more freedom.

Are you living in a way that develops that best of who you are?

Ms Markova wisely instructs to give thought to the kind of environment you need to bring out the best of the person that you are so that, when you are in a needy, demanding environment, you will not lose your sense of self or purpose. Rather than accept the environment you have been given, or the habitual lifestyle you are in, contemplate and decide what environment, people, and activities you need so that you are living your life’s purpose and, thus, able to live life passionately because your life is purposeful.

Develop a standard for your life by asking yourself what conditions bring out the best in you and free you to be you.

Ms. Markova developed this list that she describes as her “No Matter Whats” for her life as an example for you to write your own and start living your life with purpose. Again, this is just an excerpt from the article footnoted below. Please read the full article as well as take a look at Dawna’s site and books. Her challenges are beneficial to everyone.

It is my hope that reading my “no matter whats” will help you tap into your own:

No matter what, I need to be living and working in a spacious natural environment that encourages me to expand.
No matter what, I need to be living and working in an environment that stimulates, pleases, and enlivens my physical being.
No matter what, I need to be moving at a rhythm that allows my body, soul, and heart to be in alignment.
No matter what, I need to work both as a part of and apart from the larger community. I need to work with my family. Work has meant dividing me from them for so many years.
No matter what, I need a human atmosphere that constantly challenges me to be sane, thoughtful, wholesome, and present in the moment.
No matter what, I need to work in a climate that is interdependent, where the norm encourages us to use each other’s strengths so no one of us has to carry more than our part.
And lastly, no matter what, I need to work in a creative atmosphere that encourages us to let die what is finished and foster new life that is trying to emerge.

Now it’s your turn, dear reader. What are the influences, activities, and people that cause you to shine?
Describe the environment that fosters your wisdom, and helps you to bring the best that is in you out to the rest of us who are waiting.(1)

In Part 2 of this post, I’m going to use Dawna’s list as a springboard for my own list of “No Matter Whats” for living my life with purpose. I trust both these examples will encourage you to write your own list and change your environment to one that enables a fulfilling life.

1. Excerpts from Landscape of the Soul, Dawna Markova. http://www.soulfulliving.com/landscapesofsoul.htm
2. See Dawna Markova’s books and blog at DawnaMarkova.com http://www.dawnamarkova.com/

Regardless of the stresses you are facing, you have the power to choose your thoughts and, as a result, choose your well-being.

It may seem an illogical and impossible statement, but it is truth none-the-less.  Regardless of your circumstances, you choose your thoughts, and subsequently, your state of mind and personal well-being.  People throughout history have proven it true, usually in circumstances far worse than what most of us will ever experience.

One of my favorite examples is Dr. Viktor E. Frankl, whom I have mentioned before.  He is an Austrian Jew who was sent to a concentration camp with his family during World War II.

We who lived in concentration camps can remember men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.  Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor E. Frankl

Whatever circumstances you are presently you going through, any situations you may yet face, even if they are horrifically unthinkable as those experienced by Frankl, inside you is still the power to choose the state of your personal well-being by choosing your thoughts and perspectives.

Scripture reinforces this truth that your well-being is determined by your choice of thoughts.

All the days of the despondent are made evil by anxious and foreboding thoughts, but he who has a glad heart has a continual feast regardless of the circumstances.

Notice the days of the despondent are made bad by their thoughts; in contrast, the person who takes authority over his thoughts, uses his personal power to control his perspective and have a glad heart, will experience continual good regardless of his or her circumstances. 

You alone have the power to choose your thoughts.  Choose ones that will ensure your well-being!

When is the last time you committed the random act of kindness which we all hold in so high esteem?

Gifting someone else’s life with an unexpected, and even undeserved, kindness is living at the peak of human character, achieving one of the most perfect elements of the human spirit. While most anyone believes that random acts of kindness are a part of the ultimate lifestyle and a thing a beauty in life, stress and busyness can prevent you from consistently thinking creatively enough to live out such acts in your own life.

People of great admiration throughout history have spurred us on to live a lifestyle of random acts of kindness.

I’m pasting a few quotes here from both secular and religious authors with links to 2 sites of quotes which you would probably enjoy reading as well.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless. Mother Teresa

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profundity. Kindness in giving creates love. Lao-Tse

Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. Scott Adams(1)

Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.
Mother Teresa

Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstandings, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate. Albert Schweitzer(2)

Rather than missing out on one of the highest joys of life by allowing busyness to steal from you those opportunities for random acts of kindness, decide to daily envision yourself as “clothed” with kindness.

When God encourages us to reach for the pinnacle of what is happiest, healthiest, and best in the human spirit, he describes it as being “clothed” or totally covered with kindness.

As God’s people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Col 3:12

Though clothing may vary from culture to culture, to correctly envision this statement, you must envision it as in the Middle Eastern culture of 2000 years ago when it was written. Clothing was from head to toe. God says to envision yourself as being completely enveloped in kindness, along with other similar traits. If you follow the advice and envision yourself that way each day, it will be easier to flow into the creative mindset of committing random acts of kindness.

What does kindness entail?

You can think of a million ways to express kindness through the day as you envision yourself as clothed with it, but let’s take just a moment to define the mental concept.

In Scripture, the Hebrew for kindness, checed, includes the concepts of piety, beauty, favor, good deeds, loving kindness, and mercy.(3)

In the Greek part of Scripture, 2 words are used. Philanthropia, from which we get our term philanthropy, includes benevolence, fondness, and love of mankind.(4) The other Greek term, chrestotes, includes usefulness morally, excellence in character, gentleness, and goodness.(4)

Don’t deprive yourself of the joy.

In reality, this is probably one of the easiest things you can do in life to be in tune with one of the most excellent parts of the human spirit as God created it as well as bring to yourself, not just the other person, a level of joy that rarely can be matched by any other deed in life. Don’t wait. Go out and commit some random acts of kindness.

1. The first 3 quotes and many others on the topic of kindness may be read at: Suite101.com Personal Development – Acts of Kindness
2. The last 2 quotes and many others on the topic of kindness may be read at: this site by the Prince Edward School District in Canada on Random Acts of Kindness
3. Strong’s Dictionary of Old Testament Words (Hebrew)
4. Strong’s Dictionary of Old Testament Words (Greek)

How firmly do you hold to the vision of your destiny when circumstances appear to be working against you?

We each want a clear path to our destinies; do you succumb to discouragement and doubt when you are unable to see the full path, or when people and situations keep saying, “It won’t happen!”?

First, it is necessary to be clear about your destiny.

Know your life’s purpose. Along life’s journey to fulfill that destiny, you have a wide variety of needs or goals you desire to reach, such as better health, more successful relationships or communication, freedom from debt, or career changes. These goals are important steps in fulfilling your destiny and the person you are meant to be. To avoid being swayed by doubts or opposition, you must first “know that you know” in your heart what your purpose for being is.

Second, you must determine to believe in your destiny.

No one else can believe it for you – a spouse or a parent – if you are going to withstand disappointments or setbacks. If you believe that this certain path or accomplishment truly is your destiny, then keep in mind during setbacks or opposition that you will get there! It was meant to be; it was destined or planned before you were born.

In the spiritual realm, the truth is similar. In Psalm 139, God says that all of your days (and those of every other person) were planned out and written about before you lived a single day. You have a destiny. And, it is a matter of believing or of “faith” in God’s promises and His power to overcome obstacles or opposition to your destiny, as well as to provide wisdom and opportunities to fulfill the goals along the way. Because you know your destiny is His plan, because you have faith that He keeps His promise to help you, you are unwavering and unmovable in your journey to your destiny. Now back to our opening title.

Here are two illustrations on why you do not let what you see destroy what you believe with regard to your destiny.

Oxygen is necessary for your every breath, but you do not see it at all. You do not go around in a panic every moment of the day, fearing that you are going to suffocate, just because you do not have scientific proof in front of you that there is enough oxygen in the air to sustain your life. You go about your day in “faith” that all the oxygen you need and more is there to sustain you.

In the same way, though you may not see the full path to your destiny or see the results of the promises of God in your life yet, it does not mean that the path to your dreams is a product of your imagination; nor does it mean that the power of God is not working behind the scenes in your behalf just because you do not yet see the proof. Continue to go about your day in “faith,” listening for wisdom and looking for opportunities.

The next illustration is not my own. I read it in the book footnoted below, but it is such an incredible illustration that I wanted to share it with you. He says to picture watching a magician saw someone in half. You see the person’s head out one end of the box and her feet out of the other. You see the magician cut her in half and separate the boxes, yet her head and feet are still moving. You did not believe for a moment that she was really cut it half, even though you saw it with your own eyes. It appeared to be reality but you knew it was not. You could not explain it, but you still refused to believe what you saw with your own eyes. (1)

When it appears that you will not reach your destiny, that God has failed you, that He is not keeping His promises to help you — when you are tempted to put your faith in what you see – do not do it! You know your purpose! Be determined to believe in your destiny and refuse to believe your eyes if necessary.

1. Faith to Faith, Kenneth Copeland, April 29 post.