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Your level of confidence is usually directly proportionate to the intensity of drive or motivation to reach your dreams.

We each have probably seen movies in which a main character discovers that he or she has a terminal illness and suddenly chooses to overcome any intimidation or other hindrance that has kept him from fulfilling all those dreams he had of things he wanted to experience in this life. 

Think of all the dreams you would like to achieve between this moment and the conclusion of your life on this earth.  What has held you back?  Sometimes there are financial considerations in play, but many times the hindrance is something as simple as a lack of self esteem; either you fear what other people would think if you did those things or you have fears regarding your abilities.

There is a good historical illustration how major life dreams can be accomplished in spite of one’s self esteem not being at its best.

Most of us are familiar with the account of Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

You can increase your discernment in business relationships and personal interactions through an understanding of the basic personality types.

(This is Part 3 in this Post. Please use the above links if you have not yet read Parts 1 and 2.) There are a couple of well-known charts or profiles that explain personality types. Becoming aware of the tendencies in other people’s personalities can help you discern more clearly, for example, which people tend to be manipulative or strong-willed, which would greatly affect your business dealings. Or, these profiles can also help you be more aware of your own tendencies so you know which personalities are more difficult for you to deal with in long-term relationships. I trust these 2 lists will increase your ability to have wisdom and discernment in your business and other interpersonal relationships.

This is a great definition from Emotional Competency.com explaining how the categorization of personality traits is beneficial to discernment.

Personality traits are intrinsic differences that remain stable throughout most of our life. They are the constant aspects of our individuality. Each individual behaves according to certain distinctive patterns throughout a variety of situations…Also, you have probably observed that these various behaviors stay with the person consistently over time and throughout a variety of circumstances. These persistent behavior patterns, called personality traits, are stable over time, consistent in a variety of situations, and differ from one individual to the next.(1)

This first list of 4 Personality Types is one of the most well-known and is commonly used for career planning or staff relations/management.

I found a great, simplified summary in a excerpt from a book by Tim Bryce for helping young adults adapt to the workplace. It sounds like a great book. See the footnote below for more info on Tim and his book. Here is Mr. Bryce’s summary of the 4 personality types using the letter system:

Type “A” Personality - Is a highly independent and driven personality, typically representing the leaders in business. They are blunt, competitive, no-nonsense types who like to get to the point. They are also strong entrepreneurial spirits (risk takers). As such, they embrace change and are always looking for practical solutions for solving problems.

Type “B” Personality - Represents highly extroverted people who love the spotlight. Because of this, they are very entertaining and possess strong charisma (everyone likes to be around them). Small wonder these people are sales and marketing types. They thrive on entertaining people and are easily hurt if they cannot sway someone. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

The ability to discern the character of the people with whom you do business or interact is essential for a clear path to success. 

In Part 1 of this series, we discussed how discernment is important to your life.  (If you missed Part 1, click here for Safety in Discernment or use the above Series link.)

Love Yourself Enough to Choose Discernment

How much do you love yourself?  The level of your desire for discernment may be proof.  There is a proverb that says,

He who gets wisdom loves his own soul; he who cherishes understanding (discernment) prospers. Pr. 19:8

Wisdom and discernment are connected, as we will see in a moment.  Your desire for wisdom proves how much you value yourself. When you desire discernment, you show that you value yourself enough to choose to bring prosperity to your life.  Most people have a natural love for themselves; their self-esteems might have room for improvement, but the innate desire for self preservation and a “life worth living” is there.  As scripture says, “No one hates his own body. On the contrary he nourishes and cherishes it (Eph 5:29).”  Evaluate your present life perspective to see if you are choosing a path that demonstrates love for yourself and your destiny.

Discernment is also a part of emotional/spiritual maturity.

We can observe in the natural realm how discernment is an aspect of emotional growth and maturity.  We admire those who have attained it, along with the stability and success it has brought their lives.  Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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An important part of your success in life is the ability to discern the character of the people with whom you do business or interact in other ways on a regular basis.

In spite of all your education, giftings, and hardwork to reach the goals and level of success in life that you desire, not discerning the character of the people with whom you do business or otherwise interact can quickly undermine the majority of your efforts and greatly hinder your path to success. 

My spouse and I have usually worked together in our careers and are visionaries, tending to be workaholics and overachievers.  We always want to see progress.  Some years back, at a crossroads in our lives, a person wisely pointed out to us a main source of the setbacks we had been experiencing at that time in our careers.  Being visionaries, we sought after working with other people of vision, people who were “going places” and achieving things.  However, we were repeatedly accepting jobs with people who were the type that achieved their goals by being controlling and abusive to those that worked with them.  As a result, not only did we have to work harder to accomplish our goals, but it would eventually lead to the need to change from that environment due to the physical and emotional drains it created.  The fact was that their lack of character in their modes of operation made the accomplishing of our goals more difficult than was necessary.  We were advised to be discerning as to the personality and character of people before choosing to do business with them.

It is both a practical as well as a spiritual concept to be discerning.

Discerning the character of the people with whom you need to interact is practical; it can keep you from investing money with a con artist who is planning on stealing it.  It can keep you from getting into an abusive marriage.  It can prevent you from committing to projects that are either headed for failure or will create more trouble for you than it is worth.  Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Those in abusive relationships frequently live in a state of confusion and hopelessness or blaming God for not helping them because they are unable to identify why continual destruction takes place in their lives.

Unfortunately, one is usually unaware of how his daily choices, lack of boundaries, and violating of spiritual and natural laws open the doors for harm to repeatedly come to him. Today I want to help you identify areas of your life that may be “opening the door” to harm in your circumstances and relationships. If you can begin seeing where you are violating spiritual boundaries or guidelines that God set up for your own protection, you can avoid the pitfalls, protect your life, and fulfill your destiny.

A person who continually faces destruction in his life often feels that he is being loving “like God” by giving in to controlling people and not having boundaries to protect his life and destiny.

This person often becomes bitter and blames God for the hardships he or she is suffering, but it is not God that has caused these things. God is not just “loving,” He IS Iove itself. There is a difference. He is perfect love and His perfect love includes boundaries, natural and spiritual laws, correction, and justice for the sake of our protection and well-being. To have real love and beneficial results in one’s daily life and relationships, you must implement God’s type of love, a real love that has boundaries and protection built into it.

A person would not blame God for self-imposed harm that came to someone who chose to violate the laws of nature. Yet, whether or not you implement spiritual laws for daily relationships is also a decision to avoid or cause self-imposed harm.

Here is an illustration. If someone chooses to violate the natural law of gravity by jumping off a skyscraper and bringing destruction to his or her physical body, you would not blame God for the result of their choice. God did not do it to them. The person chose to violate a natural law and it resulted in personal harm. God lists in Scripture many practical, daily guidelines (I’m going to call them spiritual laws as compared to laws of nature), which are given to help us be wise in our relationships with people, particularly those who are controlling or potentially harmful to us. People often violate these laws for one of three reasons:

–A lack of knowledge. They have never received instruction on the subject.

–They know about them but mistakenly feel that compromise is a loving choice because it is what the controlling person wants them to do.

–The person is so worn out by surrounding themselves with “leech” type people instead of giving people that they do not have the strength to fight for their personal rights, well-being, and fulfillment of destiny.

By stating the following spiritual guidelines as what should be avoided, it will be easier for you to identify if you already have violations of these spiritual guidelines affecting your relationships with people, and make changes necessary to bring restoration to your life. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Whenever you set goals, the manifestation of the best goals-your goals for the ultimate restoration of your life-are achieved through a very common process: writing it out!

I recently mentioned to a friend about a common denominator that I came across while studying the success stories of people whose lives had endured complete collapse financially, physically, and career-wise. The recovery or life restoration of every person I have studied, both in the secular and religious worlds, resulted from a commitment to writing out a clear list of life goals. It sounds so simple. In many ways, it is. Yet it is absolutely vital to seeing the manifestation of your restoration. Whether the purpose of your goal setting is the complete restoration of a collapsed life, the reaching of some childhood dreams, or accomplishing your destiny, a clearly written list is still an absolute necessity.

This practical illustration reveals why the manifestation of your goals must go beyond just visualization.

Many people have probably seen the photos of the beach communities in Mississippi after Hurricane Katrina. The devastation looked must like that of an earthquake. Nothing could be seen for miles except complete rubble. Among those people who lost their homes, there was bound to be at least one architect or contractor.

An expert home builder may know all that there is to build himself a new home, but he will never begin the rebuilding without “writing it out,” without a blueprint. An expert builder who lost his home in that disaster may be able to see the image in his mind of the new home for the rebuilding, but he will not rebuild without that blueprint, without putting it in writing. And, to further the analogy, Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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In each of us is the innate desire to live a life that we truly love.

I recently read a very valuable article which covered many essential aspects of rebuilding your life to be the healthy, effective life that you desire to live. Kim Child’s article featured quotes from 3 life coach experts, footnoted below, to explain how to make lasting changes for a life that you will love. She discovered most effective life makeovers involve starting with (a) small steps, (b) setting boundaries, and (c) reaching out for support. Here are excerpts from the main points in Ms. Child’s article:

First, look at what is already working well in your life.

Even when a person feels like everything in his life must be changed, usually there are some things that are working well which should be noted and appreciated. Life coach Victoria Moran suggests to list 10 things for which you are grateful about in your life each morning before getting out of bed.(1)

Second, take time for prayer, meditation, and/or journaling before the day’s agenda begins.

This is essential to craft a health lifestyle and stay centered [on what is healthful, best, and important] in the midst of change.(1)

Third, it is importance to focus on a daily plan of nutrition and exercise.

Moran refers to this as “taking care of the vehicle,” saying, “Regardless of what you want in life, you have to get it in this physical body…You’re not going to have a very good shot at changing your attitude and thinking positive thoughts if those thoughts have to be filtered through a brain that is living on junk food and doesn’t have enough oxygen because you don’t exercise.(1)

Fourth, once one has begun to make positive changes, he needs to clean up the environment in which the old, self-destructive habits flourished. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Checking the often un-noticed motivations for one’s decisions and actions can reveal the source of either success or failure.

I recently re-read an example on the source of motivations from Cloud and Townsend’s “Boundaries.” It refers to a man who was burned out physically and emotionally and came to see them for help. The man’s explanation for the source of his problem was “loving people too much.” The authors’ response to him was that it could not be love, as love would not cause him to end up in the negative situation he was in. It was discovered that the source of the problem was his un-noticed motivations.

Here is a list from “Boundaries” of types of unhealthy personal motivations for decisions and actions of which we are often unaware. I’ll provide a definition of each motivation.

Fear of a Loss of Love: If, during childhood, a person frequently experienced a withdrawal of love by a parent whenever that parent was displeased with him or her, it creates an emotional pattern or habit in adulthood to base decisions and actions of the fear of a losing people’s love. One acts or decides out of compulsion, not because it is an action or decision that is in his own best interest; he is compelled to do whatever the other person wants due to fear that, if the person is displeased or disappointed, they will no longer love him.

Fear of Others’ Anger: Because of past boundary violations which caused emotional hurts (people mistreating a person as a way to manipulate his or her behavior), a person can feel instant fear when another person shows anger, or when he is in a situation which he believes will cause the other person’s anger; as a result, he immediately decides a course of action to appease the person and avoid their anger, rather than doing what is best for him personally.

Fear of Loneliness: This is similar to a loss of love. A person with this motivation will give in to other people’s unreasonable or unhealthy demands because he is trying to win the other person’s approval; he fears that the other person will end the relationship and he will be alone if he does not continually give in to win their approval. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Most people fear change; it is more advantageous to fear the lack of it.

Each of us have areas of our lives in which we need desperately change as well as those in which we greatly desire to see change. It may be in our personal relationships, career, health, spiritual life, or even projected retirement investments. Too often our frustration goes on for years due to one of the main points in the March 2, 2009 post on Reaching Success, “You have to follow through with a plan.”

Wishful thinking, as opposed to vision casting, will only lead to continued disappointment.

To put an end to the disappointment of a lack of change, one must first vision cast (Create a mental image of the changes you want as well as put them in print.) and then act. Wishful thinking will not accomplish anything. Be aware of how dangerous to your fulfilled life are thoughts such as:

I’ll work in this goal when I have more money.
I’ll make these changes when I have more time.
I’ll focus on this need when I have fewer distractions.
I’ll start exercising or eating right next week.

Though none of us would consider ourselves insane, it is beneficial to remember Eistein’s Definition of Insanity, “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

To do what you have always done each day, Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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There is an innate desire in each person’s heart to succeed; the key is visualizing the plan.

Often we are hindered from successfully reaching our goals because we never bother to visualize those goals, brainstorm as to how to achieve them, and then actually follow through with the plan. We must visualize, but we must then also act!

Fellow blogger, Susan Hanshaw of Sanctuary for Change shared her comments from a lecture and book by Marc Allen, Author of “The Greatest Secret of All.” Susan summarizes the key points for reaching success:

Twenty four pages into the book, I’ve now come to my own understanding of this great secret. You’ve got to follow the process to make it work for you. Here are some valuable tips from the book for starters:

1. Write your ideal scene on paper, your dream life five years in the future.
2. Recognize that within that scene lies several goals. Write those down.
3. Create a one-page plan for achieving each of your goals.
4. Write your goals as affirmations stated in the present tense.

You may be looking at these four tips, saying to yourself, “I knew that”. You’re right; there’s nothing new here. What is new is up to you. This time, look at this exercise as being as important as your life. It is your life. It’s yours to do what you want with it. Now what will that be?

Please Click Here to Complete Reading Susan’s Full Post on “The Greatest Secret to Manifestation”

Please Click Here to go to Susan’s Blog.

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States of mind or life perspectives are developed in one’s childhood environment and passed down from generation to generation.

I came across a great article on overcoming a poverty mindset by fellow SelfGrowth.com author and business professional, Melissa Zollo. The points in this post are excerpts from a lengthy article. She is a secular author (not religious) but makes many valid points. Please use the link here or below to read Melissa’s full article.

A poverty state of mind will cause you to see, hear, think, feel, and act in alignment with lack.

The Law of Attraction states that your thoughts and feelings create a force field of energy that radiates out from you and draws back into your life people, things, and situations in tune with them. In other words, you become what you believe and feel to be true.

8 Choices You Can Make Today that Will Change Your Habits and Influence Your Life:

Since the direction of our lives is primarily determined by the choices we make each and every day, I am offering you a selection of choices you can make — choices that will assist you in walking the road … the fulfillment of your dreams.

1. Choose a new mental diet. One of the most powerful activities you will ever participate in is uplifting self-talk. Instead of talking about what you are afraid of or worried about, decide to consciously choose words that are consistent with your financial goals.

2. Choose to activate your imagination. [Imagination] assists you to reimage/refocus/rebuild/rethink/ receive!

3. Choose to focus on your dreams and empower yourself. This sounds simple but many people only wish to experience wealth and success. They rarely choose to change their money habits. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Comparing yourself with others can be a slippery slope into a life of envy, inferiority, and intimidation.

When you fail to recognize your value as a unique person with a divine destiny that affects this world in ways that no one else ever can or will, it is easy to fall into the comparison game. I came across a great article by Norma Schmidt on this topic.  The points below are excerpts from her article.

Norma is an accomplished Ezine article author; her articles can be viewed on many Ezine sites across the Internet. Norma provides 5 guidelines to overcoming the temptation to compare your personal value to that of others and avoid the resulting envy, intimidation, and other negative feelings it produces. A link to her full article is footnoted below.

Whether comparing yourself is an extreme habit of yours, or an occasional one, we can all benefit from Norma’s points on Breaking Free from Comparisons:

1. Give Yourself More Credit.

This strategy is preventive. Look inside, and give yourself credit for your accomplishments and positive character traits… recognize the heart, intelligence, imagination and integrity you bring to living life your way.

2. Count Your Blessings

This is another preventive tactic to build your comparison “immunity.” Cultivating an awareness of all the blessings of your life can take the sting out of seeing how others are blessed

3. Exhale

When you notice that you’re comparing yourself to someone else, Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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To some, this title sounds like an oxymoron-complete opposites-yet taking responsibility for your actions and decisions can actually set you free.

A large portion of the balance of our lives is dependent on what we are and are not responsible for. Becoming aware of where we have or have not drawn boundaries with our chosen responsibilities can bring some startling realizations as to the sources of needless stress, irritation, and resentments. Two recent situations drew my attention to this concept.

The initial way to Freedom through Responsibility is to be content with the decisions you make as to your level of responsibility.

The first situation that made me aware of this principle was taking place in my own life. I was feeling resentful and becoming quite negative about a particular organization with which we work at times that was not being well run by the leadership. I would probably have released my frustration by sitting down and giving them input on a few key things that were affecting their effectiveness, as I had knowledge in that area. However, this past month was so hectic that I chose not to invest my personal time into that situation, deciding the people could probably learn from their own mistakes. I realized this week, however, that I was not taking responsibility for my own decision. Since I had chosen not to take from my time the volume of time needed to give input to that organization’s leadership, I needed to be content with that decision to let them learn from their own mistakes, and choose not to be irritated by the lack of effectiveness of the present leadership.

People often clutter their lives with irritation and resentment either by (1) choosing to take on too many “extra curricular” responsibilities in what would otherwise be their free time and then resenting the people involved or (2) not choosing to be content with the boundaries they set. The first often happens with people in any type of rescue work or those with a co-dependent personality who feel they always need to be “rescuing” something or someone. The wise decision is to Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Visualization or creating a mental image of your dreams is an effective technique for reaching your goals.

The terms may vary at different points in history, but visualization is a healthy, effective concept that has been used for achieving one’s personal destiny for 1000′s of years. Whether you call it dreaming, vision casting, or the current term of visualization, creating mental images of your dreams and goals is a technique emphasized now by life coaches and other career experts. Sites such as VisionBoardSite.com provide you your own space, music, images, etc. to help you visualize goals and keep focused (Link in right column Blogroll and banner at end of the post.).

I came across a quote this week by Pablo Picasso, “Everything you can imagine is real.”

I thought it was very fitting to this concept. What you imagine, dream, or visualize may not be tangible (where you can touch it or see it) at the present moment, but imagining or visualizing can make that dream tangible. Jesus spoke a similar concept in Mk. 11:23,

I most certainly tell you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is happening; he will have whatever he says. (WEB)

Notice two things: Jesus said this is “absolutely” a true concept when He said, “I most certainly tell you…” and second, if a person believes that what he is saying is actually happening, such as moving a mountain, he would definitely be visualizing it before saying something with such an extreme level of belief. He would have to be seeing it as already done in his mind to speak it and believe it done with such confidence. Jesus said the result is then that you will have what you have said.

Visualization is often associated with the philosophy of the Law of Attraction, yet most people are unaware that it is a scriptural principle that was personally recommended by God to Abram.

Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

We each have key people in our lives whom have been instrumental in making us the people that we are.

As fast as life goes by, and with no guarantee of who will be able to share the next day with us, it would benefit us greatly to take time to reflect on the importance of these people to our lives while they are still with us.

I recently read a post by one of my favorite bloggers, Susan Hanshaw of Sanctuary for Change. She wrote a brief post on her father’s 74th birthday, reflecting on his influence in her life. I want to share it with you. It is very heartwarming, but more importantly, let it challenge you to reflect on the key people in your life while they are still alive and the specific ways that knowing them has enhanced your life.

Susan Hanshaw, “10 Life Lessons from My Dad on His 74th Birthday”

Today is my father’s 74th birthday. I recognize how blessed I am to be able to share it with him, and I don’t want to wait until he’s gone to reflect on what I’ve learned from him. In no particular order:
Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »