ReceiveHealing.com

How clear cut is your goal?  Is it clear enough to see in your mind’s eye?

A vital part of goal setting is to be able to literally visualize your goal.  You need to see yourself there.  Once you see yourself there, you will become much more successful at staying in a state of mental alertness; this state of alertness enables you to then see the goal-related paths and opportunities as well as make decisions which help, and not hinder, your goals.

Evaluate what percentage of your mental/emotional focus is on your goal.

Present situations can be a hindrance if you allow yourself to stay focused on them instead of your goal.  You will set yourself back if your focus is on where you are, and all the present circumstances you are unhappy with, instead of where you want to go or what you Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Do you live life hurried, fearful, and competitive because you feel it is necessary to achieve your goals?

Living life as if in a constant state of emergency in your attempt to reach your goals or be a superachiever is an enormous drain mentally and physically and is completely unnecessary.

Best-selling author Richard Carlson, in “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff (1),” challenges the commonly held belief—sometimes even unknowingly—that a hurried, frantic, and competitive mindset and lifestyle are necessary for success. 

Dr. Carlson eradicates the idea of living as a franctic superachiever: 

1. Put to rest the idea that, if you stopped being frantic and competitive, you would become lazy and apathetic. The opposite is true.
2. Fearful thinking actually drains your creativity and motivation. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Unless dealt with, struggles with guilt can hold you back from your goals, dreams, daily positive social interaction, and even physical and spiritual health.

Facing your guilt issues will bring about new avenues of freedom in your life that have long back lacking.  What guilt are you holding on to now?  Guilt does not fill any positive purpose. 

–Holding on to guilt will keep you from pursuing open opportunities to reach your goals and dreams.

Usually you will either fear more failure or feel that you do not deserve the good opportunities.

–Guilt over the past keeps you from positive social interaction. 

It is the same principle as the Law of Attraction.  If you feel that people like you, that you deserve good, and that good will come to you, it subconsciously causes you to interact with people in positive ways; then, due to Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

Unstoppable determination could be the missing key to achieving your goals.

How determined are you to reach your goals?  Are you so determined that nothing can make you quit?  Or, do seemingly unmovable obstacles cause you to lose heart and let up on your efforts?

A key factor in overcoming obstacles and reaching your goals is having the discipline and determination to not quit when you hit the wall.

A favorite illustration of mine is one I read about an athletic term called, “hitting the wall.”  In the book footnoted below, the author used the illustration to refer to one making good progress through life and then being hit by severe financial trouble, failure, or sickness.  You are stopped cold in your tracks. However,
when faced with seemingly unmovable obstacles, it is not the time
Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

What area  in your life do you desire to see be completely revolutionized?  Your career?  Your family life?  Your health?  Your finances?

Recently I was doing a study on Ephesians 3:20, one of my favorite verses,

“Now to God Who, by consequence of the action of His power that is at work within you, is able to carry out His purpose and do superabundantly, far over and above all that you dares ask or think, infinitely beyond your highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams. (Amp)

The main phrase in the Greek is more accurately translated “superabundantly above the greatest abundance.”  Let your mind try to fully fathom that concept.  Whatever your need, whatever your desire Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

Busyness of life demands a well-thought out plan to achieve your life goals.

During the past year, I found myself pulled in numerous directions by unavoidable responsibilities, such as adding new parts to one of our businesses, another family member in the household, attending to needs of aging relatives. The use of my time was not always a matter of choice. When this year began, I realized that I needed to refocus with a new, clear cut “life plan” if I was going to achieve my own goals instead of just maintaining in the face of these new responsibilities. Calling to memory last year’s posts on Dawna Markova’s book, I knew I needed to make sure I was “living on purpose” and daily creating the environment needed to live out those purposes. (If you missed those 2 posts, use the links here. Living with Purpose and Living Your Purpose and Creating Your Purposeful Life Environment) In the same way, it is essential for each of you Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Impassioned

How much does guilt and self rejection hold you back from what is most important to you in life?

Do guilty feelings keep you from confidence, happiness, and success? Feelings of guilt or self rejection will usually hold you back from most of what you desire out of life unless you choose to change those mindsets, restoring your confidence and self esteem.

I have been enjoying a book by Brennan Manning called, Abba’s Child; it was a recent gift from a friend. In the beginning of the book, he discusses his own path to overcoming shame and self rejection. He is aware that his own past experiences are so common in the human experience that many people will benefit from the results of his journey to self acceptance and value.

One of the main behaviors that cause a person to live with guilt and self rejection is the habit of projecting his or her feelings of self onto God.

The emotional weight is great when one feels shame or self disapproval of past choices, decisions, or just the person that you are. How much greater is that weight when one convinces himself that his Heavenly Father, his Creator, the most phenomenal being in the universe thinks all the same negative, condemning thoughts about him? Yet, this is a typical thought pattern in the human experience, though we are usually unaware that this is what we are doing.

Usually included in these projected thoughts is the idea that life’s good and bad times signal God’s approval or rejection.

As Manning says, it is easy to feel loved by God when life is going well, all your support systems are in place Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

Attracting the favor you need and desire in your life this year is contingent upon believing you will receive it.

Though the “Law of Attraction” may be a contemporary term, the concept is an ageless one. We have discussed at times in the past the concept of the Law of Attraction, of believing that good will come to you and visualizing it. God Himself, in His covenant with Abraham, asked him to believe for the fulfillment of Abraham’s “impossible” dream for a son when Sarah was over 75 and to visualize the stars in the sky as being his numerous descendents. (See the post Visualizing Your Dreams)

A few months ago, I was doing a word study on the concept of favor, as I was in need of favor during an upcoming business transaction. I was truly amazed at how frequently favor is promised by God and how much it is a part of His covenant with mankind.

I want each of you to believe this year for the favor you both need and desire from your relationships/interactions with God and people.

As you read through the quotes below, visualize the favor spoken of as being yours. Put your name into the quotes. Begin the year believing that you already have the favor of God and will grow in your favor with people, regardless of the circumstance. Continue throughout this year to believe and visualize that you are a person of favor and receive the favor that is yours!

I will look on you with favor and make you fruitful and increase your numbers, and I will keep my covenant with you. Le 26:9

O Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant…Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man. Ne 1:11

You will arise and have compassion, for it is time to show favor to her; the appointed time has come. Ps 102:13

Now God had caused the official to show favor and sympathy to him. Da 1:9 Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

How firmly do you hold to the vision of your destiny when circumstances appear to be working against you?

We each want a clear path to our destinies; do you succumb to discouragement and doubt when you are unable to see the full path, or when people and situations keep saying, “It won’t happen!”?

First, it is necessary to be clear about your destiny.

Know your life’s purpose. Along life’s journey to fulfill that destiny, you have a wide variety of needs or goals you desire to reach, such as better health, more successful relationships or communication, freedom from debt, or career changes. These goals are important steps in fulfilling your destiny and the person you are meant to be. To avoid being swayed by doubts or opposition, you must first “know that you know” in your heart what your purpose for being is.

Second, you must determine to believe in your destiny.

No one else can believe it for you – a spouse or a parent – if you are going to withstand disappointments or setbacks. If you believe that this certain path or accomplishment truly is your destiny, then keep in mind during setbacks or opposition that you will get there! It was meant to be; it was destined or planned before you were born. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Gratifying

Have you ever wished for a plan of action to get out of the abusive relationships in your life?

There is a step by step plan in an exceptional article written by Dr. Joseph Carver, Psychologist, explaining how to free yourself from controlling people and/or abusive people. Dr. Carver says that most people fail trying to get out of abusive relationships because “they leave suddenly and impulsively, without proper planning, and without resources.” Dr. Carver is a reputable psychologist whose articles on Love and the Stockholm Syndrome and the article we will discuss in this post are used by counseling groups across the globe.

Dr. Carver says that there are 3 necessary stages in freeing yourself from abusive and controlling people: The Detachment, Ending the Relationship, and the Follow-up Protection. These are only brief, paraphrased excerpts from Dr. Carver’s article. Please use the link here or below to read his article in full so that you have all the practical steps, information, and confidence you need to free yourself and start over on a new healthy path to a life that fulfills the God-given destiny for your existence!

Stage 1: The Detachment

-The abuser will have caused you isolation by methods such as controlling the finances, modes of transportation, etc. Pay attention to methods the controller is using to isolate you from freedom and help.

- Gradually become more boring, talk less, and share less feelings. The goal is to lessen the abuser’s emotional attachment to you.

- Quietly contact your family and friends to determine who can provide a place to stay, protection, financial help, etc. [An added note, only contact those who will keep your plans absolutely confidential.]

- If you fear violence or abuse, check local legal or law enforcement options.

- Slowly remove your valuables from the home. You may lose some personal items.

- Stop arguing. Stop defending and explaining yourself. Express that you are too stressed or confused to know why you are doing anything anymore. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

Visualization or creating a mental image of your dreams is an effective technique for reaching your goals.

The terms may vary at different points in history, but visualization is a healthy, effective concept that has been used for achieving one’s personal destiny for 1000’s of years. Whether you call it dreaming, vision casting, or the current term of visualization, creating mental images of your dreams and goals is a technique emphasized now by life coaches and other career experts. Sites such as VisionBoardSite.com provide you your own space, music, images, etc. to help you visualize goals and keep focused (Link in right column Blogroll and banner at end of the post.).

I came across a quote this week by Pablo Picasso, “Everything you can imagine is real.”

I thought it was very fitting to this concept. What you imagine, dream, or visualize may not be tangible (where you can touch it or see it) at the present moment, but imagining or visualizing can make that dream tangible. Jesus spoke a similar concept in Mk. 11:23,

I most certainly tell you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is happening; he will have whatever he says. (WEB)

Notice two things: Jesus said this is “absolutely” a true concept when He said, “I most certainly tell you…” and second, if a person believes that what he is saying is actually happening, such as moving a mountain, he would definitely be visualizing it before saying something with such an extreme level of belief. He would have to be seeing it as already done in his mind to speak it and believe it done with such confidence. Jesus said the result is then that you will have what you have said.

Visualization is often associated with the philosophy of the Law of Attraction, yet most people are unaware that it is a scriptural principle that was personally recommended by God to Abram.

Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

This is Part 3 in the series. If you missed Part 1 and 2, please click the above links to read first.

Dr. Carver states that Stockholm Syndrome develops involuntarily-the victim does not purposely develop these feelings and responses. They are done to survive a threatening and controlling environment and relationship.

The victim’s self-worth and emotional health is so tied to the relationship that they believe that they would mentally collapse if the relationship ended. The more dysfunctional the situation, the more dysfunctional the victim’s adaptation to survive and make the relationship work. When the victim reaches the point of realizing that the relationship doesn’t work and can’t be fixed, they will need to loving support of family and friends to return to a healthy, positive lifestyle.

While each situation is different, Dr. Carver provides these guidelines for friends and family:

-Your contacts with your loved one may be met with anger and resentment. This is because each contact may prompt the abuser to attack them verbally or emotionally.

-It’s often best to establish predictable, scheduled contacts. Calling every Wednesday evening, just for a status report or to go over current events, is less threatening than random calls during the week. Random calls are always viewed as “checking up on us” calls. While you may encounter an answering machine, leave a polite and loving message.

-Remember that there are many channels of communication. It’s important that we keep a channel open if at all possible. Communication channels might include phone calls, letters, cards, and e-mail.

-Importantly, don’t discuss the relationship (the controller may be listening!) unless the victim brings it up. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

A reader asked about how to move beyond an abusive relationship when you still feel love for that person.

This is actually a common feeling from people in abusive, or even just very controlling relationships. A prominent pastor’s wife in Atlanta filed for divorce when a relationship involving much emotional abuse evolved into a physical attack. She said that she still felt love toward him but decided to “take her love with her and leave” for her own welfare. A loved one of ours, after having decided some time ago to leave an abusive relationship is now feeling that he loves the other person in spite of the fact that his health, career, and family life have all been destroyed by the other person.

An initial step is to realize the difference between love and concern.

A friend in a bad relationship once had another friend tell him, “You care about her well-being, but it doesn’t sound like you really love her.” There is a major difference between love and concern. It is unlikely that you will feel completely devoid of concern over the person’s well being if you have shared a major part of your life or major events in your life with him or her. However, concern over his or her well being is not proof of the existence of a loving relationship.

People in emotionally or physically abusive situations often suffer from Stockholm syndrome, not just people in hostage situations.

In Stockholm Syndrome, the person in an abusive or controlling situation begins to experience a psychological response of defending the “captor” and showing loyalty to the abuser. (1) Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

I have mentioned the Law of Attraction several times, as it is a secular philosophy built on scriptural principles, that has become very popular again in recent years. It involves speaking out the good that you need to see take place in your life, visualizing it, believing that it will come in to existence, and, through this focus, changing your thought patterns so that you (1) develop good, creative decisions which make you successful and (2) become aware of helpful connections and opportunities that you would have missed if you had not changed the focus of your thinking.

I came across a brief, but thorough article by Rhonda Jones which clearly describes how the Law of Attraction is scripturally based and how to effectively implement it. A link to the full article is below and is well worth reading.

Here are excerpts of her 6 steps to attract restoration and success:

Ask - The first step is deciding what it is you want from God. You need to create specific goals for your life. Be specific about what you desire by creating a vision chart or writing down your specific request…

Believe – You must believe that you have already received what you asked for. I’m talking about faith. Faith is the substance of things hoped for that evidence of things not seen. Your faith is not in yourself or your own abilities. The scriptures tell us to have faith in God. That is where the power lies… Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

Are you your own worst enemy? Are you sure? What do you believe that your life is destined for?

When you envision your present situation and then the rest of your life, what do you see? Do you see a life of continual lack, illness, struggle, and disappointments? Or instead, do you envision that you are destined for a good life, an effective, satisfying life? There is an old saying, “Be careful what you wish for.” Why do people say that? Because there is great power to your thoughts just as there is in your words. People who believe that they are destined for a satisfying, effective life are more aware of the right opportunities when they present themselves. Such people Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »