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Tags: boundaries, discouragement, emotional baggage, emotional healing, emotional health, failure, family, guilt, personal growth, relationships, resentment

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Guilty Feelings to Self Esteem

January 16th, 2010

Reading Level: Impassioned

How much does guilt and self rejection hold you back from what is most important to you in life?

Do guilty feelings keep you from confidence, happiness, and success? Feelings of guilt or self rejection will usually hold you back from most of what you desire out of life unless you choose to change those mindsets, restoring your confidence and self esteem.

I have been enjoying a book by Brennan Manning called, Abba’s Child; it was a recent gift from a friend. In the beginning of the book, he discusses his own path to overcoming shame and self rejection. He is aware that his own past experiences are so common in the human experience that many people will benefit from the results of his journey to self acceptance and value.

One of the main behaviors that cause a person to live with guilt and self rejection is the habit of projecting his or her feelings of self onto God.

The emotional weight is great when one feels shame or self disapproval of past choices, decisions, or just the person that you are. How much greater is that weight when one convinces himself that his Heavenly Father, his Creator, the most phenomenal being in the universe thinks all the same negative, condemning thoughts about him? Yet, this is a typical thought pattern in the human experience, though we are usually unaware that this is what we are doing.

Usually included in these projected thoughts is the idea that life’s good and bad times signal God’s approval or rejection.

As Manning says, it is easy to feel loved by God when life is going well, all your support systems are in place Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Tags: discouragement, dreams, emotional baggage, emotional healing, emotional health, failure, Father God, goals, God's love, guilt, projection, rejection, self esteem, self worth

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Guilt-Free Confidence

February 23rd, 2009

Reading Level: Impassioned

Feelings of guilt hinder the quality of our relationships, both in the natural and spiritual realms. God desires that you live your life in confidence, free from guilt.

Guilt is a hindrance in any relationship. A person does not act according to the giftings of his personality, the best that he is capable of, when suffering from guilt, because it is a form of fear. It makes the person fear another conflict with that person or fear failure when facing a similar type situation as in the past. Guilt also often causes one to give in to manipulation from controlling people’s selfish desires, even when the decision is against his better judgment.

In one’s relationship with God, guilt also keeps a person from interacting in a healthy manner and, thus, relating to God with the confidence in which He desires us to interact with Him. If you feel that you have not already received forgiveness from God for past failures, or are struggling with the feeling that God is holding the past against you, please read the post, Hold on to Forgiveness Instead of Failure, before finishing this article. This post will deal with God’s descriptions of interacting with Him through a perspective of guilt-free confidence.

God clearly expresses His desire that each of us enjoy a favorable relationship with Him.

In the following quote from Romans 5:1,2,5, God states that He desires us to grasp the fact that we can “hold [on to] and enjoy” a relationship of peaceful reconciliation with Him.

Rom. 5:1,2,5 Since we are acquitted and given a right standing with God through faith, let us grasp the fact that we have the peace of reconciliation to hold and to enjoy through Jesus. Through Him we have by faith into this state of God’s favor in which we firmly and safely stand. Let us rejoice in our hope of experiencing and enjoying the glory of God…..Such hope never disappoints us…

The easiest way to cover the wealth contained in this quote is to list the various points based on the meaning of the key words in the original Greek with which they were written. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Tags: emotional baggage, failure, forgiveness, God's love, guilt, relationships, spiritual growth, spirituality

Allowing the New Year to be New

January 6th, 2009

Reading Level: Gratifying

A new year brings most of us the hope of starting over. We desire to see life be better in various areas of our lives during the new year. To start over, to experience a better life, make the decision to allow your year to be new.

First, forgive yourself of past mistakes.

Self-condemnation has no benefit. Even God desires us to live without the weight of condemnation. Romans 8:1,2 says that there is no condemnation for those who live in Jesus because God’s Spirit has freed them from the laws (the control, the results) of sin and death.

Second, forgive others.

Remember, if you’ve followed the posts this past year, forgiveness does not involve allowing people to mistreat you. There is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. For reconciliation to take place, it involves both people being willing to have resolution; in many situations, this is impossible. However, forgiveness takes place in your own heart and frees you from being emotionally tied to that person and bad experience for the rest of your life. For a full discussion on this topic, read the post, Forgiveness or Reconciliation: Understanding the Difference.

Third, forget what God forgets.

That may sound strange to someone who, at first thought, believes that God does not forget. Unlike people, God’s forgetfulness is not due to insufficient memory capability; He chooses to forget certain things. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Tags: abundance, emotional baggage, emotional health, failure, Kenneth Copeland, Law of Attraction, positive thinking, relationships, spiritual health, wellness, wholeness

Character – Key to Success in Life

September 11th, 2008

Reading Level: Leisurely

Rarely do we contemplate that the key to one’s success in life is a matter of re-constructing our personalities or character to reflect the nature of the Creator.

How are all great works of art recognized? They bear the distinct, unique characteristics of the artist, of the creator. It is also these characteristics of the artist that give the work of art its value. Similarly, we were created to live bearing the unique characteristics of our Creator, of His divine nature. It is these same characteristics that increase the value of our person and enhance our ability to succeed in life.

Consider this daily life example. It is a common principle that the more admirable qualities which exist in a person, the more they are esteemed by society. For example, people desire to enter into business contracts with someone they know is trustworthy. People want to shop at stores with efficient and helpful customer service. We were created to live embodying the very character of God in our own natures, our own personalities-characteristics which are highly regarded and therefore, increase our “value” in the eyes of society. Just as a piece of art carries out the purpose it was created, as we live life emanating the character of God, we will see greater success because we are living according to our divine purpose; we are like a piece of fine art, bearing the characteristics of the artist!

What type of characteristics should one focus on to incorporate the divine nature into his own nature and increase his success rate? Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Tags: character, destiny, failure, goals, personal growth, success, wellness

Break Out of the Rut Part 2

July 22nd, 2008

Table of contents for Break Out of the Rut

Break Out of the Rut
Break Out of the Rut Part 2

Reading Level: Leisurely

Knowledge alone is not enough to break you out of the rut of ineffective daily structure or of harmful habits.

Though I wrote on this a while back, so many people have been asking for info on this topic that I decided to do a brief follow-up. Many people fill themselves with knowledge from a wide variety of self-help guides, but still fail in implementing the majority of the good knowledge that they’ve learned. It is true that old habits are hard to break. If the habits are rooted in spiritual or emotional issues or addictions, obviously there is rarely an instant route to change; you will need outside support and input.

However, especially for breaking out of the rut of the typically daily habits that create an ineffective life, consistency is the key.

In both the religious and secular realms, people often quote Jesus words, “The truth will set you free.” Yes, it can, but the all important element to truth setting you free which Jesus revealed in the same conversation is rarely mentioned. In that conversation, Jesus said, “If you remain constant to my Message, you are truly my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free (TCNT),” or another translation, “If you continue in my Word…(RSV).” Constancy, consistency is the key to effectively implementing any truth and breaking out of the ruts in your life! Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Tags: destiny, failure, goals, personal growth, relationships, restoration, success, wellness, wholeness

Determine Your Destiny

July 9th, 2008

Reading Level: Leisurely

We all want to achieve the purpose(s) for our existence, but how do we overcome the apparent roadblocks?

It is important to have a sense of destiny, of purpose for your life. For this post, we are assuming you already have your destiny in view. If you were to rate yourself between 1 and 10, how effective do you feel that you are in accomplishing the actions and goals necessary for fulfilling your destiny? Even when we have a clear destiny in mind, most of us feel that there are numerous roadblocks to either fulfilling your destiny at all or fulfilling it as effectively as you envision.

My spouse and I have been listening to a series for the past month on the blood covenant God made with Abraham in Genesis 15 and the significance of it in that culture and point in history. The man teaching the series has put out a new book on achieving your destiny, called, “8 Steps to Create the Life You Want.” In describing his book, he explains an 8 step process to achieving your destiny and how you can evaluate the roadblocks to your destiny by seeing where you are at in this 8 step process.

Here are the 8 Steps: Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Tags: 8 Steps to Create the Life, Creflo Dollar, destiny, failure, goals, personal growth, positive thinking, wellness, wholeness

Does Love Have to be Earned?

June 10th, 2008

Reading Level: Impassioned

In continuation of our series, this is another reader provided question. I wasn’t sure if the person was asking about God’s love or human love, so I thought we’d cover both aspects.

First, let’s focus on a general principle of love. Love, whether given freely or earned, can be damaged or destroyed depending on our responses to it.

Someone can choose to love you completely unearned or unmerited, such as with new emotional love, which is based on the person they hope you to be, since they haven’t been acquainted with you long enough to actually know what you are like so as to commit to the relationship rationally. If your actions are unloving, selfish, and/or inconsiderate, obviously that will damage that relationship and eventually destroy the unmerited love as you demonstrate more and more that you are unworthy of it. Emotionally or physically harmful behavior will destroy it even more quickly.

Love that is earned in human relationship is actually, per say, more stable.

It may begin as emotional love or acquaintance or friendship and develop into a stable, lasting love as your attitudes and behavior show over time that you can be trusted to be a loving person through the variety of life’s circumstances. This is what I term rational love, a love in which the person has a sound basis of long-term experience with you which has developed a high level of trust. This trust based on experience then provides Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Tags: failure, forgiveness, God's love, love, personal growth, relationships, trust, withdrawal of love

Posted in Reader's Questions | No Comments »

Break Out of the Rut

May 28th, 2008

Table of contents for Break Out of the Rut

Break Out of the Rut
Break Out of the Rut Part 2

Reading Level: Leisurely

On a scale of 1 to 10, implementing being 10, how often do you act on new, valuable knowledge that you hear compared to the number of times you let that knowledge merely slip away?

We all come across good input from time to time of things that would greatly improve our lives, quality input on one’s finances, relationships, or physical-emotional-spiritual health. Usually, we feel great excitement at the thought of the possible benefits from that new knowledge yet, all too often, the knowledge that comes our way is allowed to slip away because it is easier for life to stay in a rut.

Just as it is always easier to swim with the current than against it, just as it is definitely easier to go downhill than to a higher plain, it is undeniably easier to stay in a rut than drive over the bumps in the road to get out of the path you’ve been in. We can even be good listeners, eager learners, and have willing spirits with a desire to succeed, but all the right attitudes will still not cause one’s life to prosper if all we ever do is listen, and we never act on that knowledge. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Tags: destiny, failure, finances, goals, personal growth, relationships, restoration, success, wellness, wholeness

Envisioning Your Own Well-Being

May 13th, 2008

Reading Level: Leisurely

Are you your own worst enemy? Are you sure? What do you believe that your life is destined for?

When you envision your present situation and then the rest of your life, what do you see? Do you see a life of continual lack, illness, struggle, and disappointments? Or instead, do you envision that you are destined for a good life, an effective, satisfying life? There is an old saying, “Be careful what you wish for.” Why do people say that? Because there is great power to your thoughts just as there is in your words. People who believe that they are destined for a satisfying, effective life are more aware of the right opportunities when they present themselves. Such people Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Tags: abundance, destiny, discouragement, doubt, dreams, failure, Law of Attraction, personal growth, positive thinking, success, wellness

2 Simple Steps to Release Guilt

May 5th, 2008

Table of contents for Free From Self-Condemnation

Why Guilt is Unnecessary
2 Simple Steps to Release Guilt

Reading Level: Leisurely

Ever been in training for a particular job? Or maybe you were the one training the other person. In either case, the whole concept of training is that the person does not already understand all that there is to know about the job. The training is a process to provide further education and increase various skills so that one can competently do the job. Even after one develops a level of skill and competence, rarely is he perfect.

There is nothing wrong with aiming for perfection. In fact, scripture specifically challenges us to do so (2 Cor. 13:11). However, when our failures are creating guilt or self-condemnation and hindering our life’s progress, we can encourage ourselves and release condemnation by reminding ourselves of two simple points. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Tags: discouragement, encouragement, failure, guilt, JoelOsteen.com, positive thinking, wellness

Posted in 2 Minute Reflections | 1 Comment »

Why Guilt is Unnecessary

April 30th, 2008

Table of contents for Free From Self-Condemnation

Why Guilt is Unnecessary
2 Simple Steps to Release Guilt

Reading Level: Leisurely

Perfectionist that I am, I tend to be very hard on myself for any situation that I, in retrospect, feel I could have handled better for some reason.

Due to the weariness that comes from extended trying circumstances, everyone has an occasional bad day emotionally when they feel discouraged, hopeless, unable to be strong for other people, lose their temper, etc. We make a difficult situation even harder if we then listen to negatives voices in our spirits which bring self-condemnation for not staying perfectly hopeful and strong every day of the trying circumstance, especially when we know we are doing our best to succeed.

I heard a great word of encouragement the other day Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Tags: discouragement, encouragement, failure, guilt, JoelOsteen.com, positive thinking, wellness

Forgetting What God Forgets

April 22nd, 2008

Reading Level: Leisurely

Guilt is a recurring struggle for many people. It is one of the most common search terms that people enter to read about on this site.

I’ve also read numerous blogs online by people who turned away from conventional religion due to spiritual leaders who erroneously bogged them down with a sense of guilt, making them feel that God is on a constant campaign to condemn their every thought, word, or action. In complete opposition to how many people were taught as children, guilt is a bondage that God our Father does NOT desire for us to live with. Scripture makes countless points to uphold this idea, but I’d like to focus today on one particular passage to get you started on releasing your guilt.

One of the leaders of the early church back in the first century A.D. was a man named Paul. He is considered by many to be the greatest apostle or leader of his day, having written a large part of what is now the New Testament. Yet, though some people tend to exalt him almost to deity, Paul was just a man with the exact same struggles and imperfections as any other human being. In Philippians 3, Paul talks about his past social status, education, and career–all the things about which a person could normally boast. Paul says he considers all this status nothing compared to actually knowing God. Next is the part important to one’s struggle with guilt. Paul admits something everyone overlooks, “Not that I have already been made perfect. But I am pressing on, striving to take hold of the prize for which I was taken hold of by Christ (Phil 3:12).”

This is key to freedom from guilt. Paul admits that he fails, but says he still presses forward to fulfill his God-given destiny.

He keeps pressing forward in life to fulfill the whole purpose for which God gave him life. In the releasing of your guilt, the first point then to apply to your own life is Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Tags: emotional baggage, emotional healing, emotional health, failure, forgiveness, goals, guilt, personal growth, positive thinking, wellness

Hold on to Forgiveness Instead of Failure

March 20th, 2008

Reading Level: Leisurely

Many of us are prone to hold on to our failures; as a result of our own tendency to do so, we inadvertently think that God also holds on to our failures and treats us accordingly.

There is no doubt that, at times, we suffer in our current circumstances due to a prior failure. For example, years ago when we were just out of college, my spouse didn’t change the oil in the car for a couple of years! The result was a locked up engine. The failure in maintenance resulted in car trouble that we had to deal with. The trouble was a result of our own failure, not brought about by any outside force. Sometimes, when we are going through a circumstance that is a result of our failure, we begin to believe that God is causing the circumstance as a type of punishment for the wrong step. This idea weighs down one’s spirit with destructive feelings of guilt. This misconceived guilt makes it more difficult to overcome the trying circumstance because we—erroneously—wonder how long God wants us to be punished by it.

When we have a clear understanding of God’s description of His forgiveness for us, it helps us to move past our failures to healing. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Tags: comfort, emotional healing, emotional health, failure, forgiveness, God's love, guilt, kenneth hagin, personal growth, positive thinking, relationships, wellness

Healing Through Overcoming Family Past

February 19th, 2008

Reading Level: Impassioned

In my life experience of working with people who are seeking after God, there has been a noticeable characteristic of people’s responses to God being affected by past parental relationships.

I have seen children from abusive family situations that felt great apprehension at the thought of even talking to God, fearful of His rejection or of some sort of mistreatment by Him. I have known women who were making an effort to seek after God, but because of past abusive relationships with fathers and ex-husbands, could not emotionally handle the intended positive analogy in Scripture of paternal characteristics in God. Though Scripture makes clear that spiritual beings are neither male or female, since God often uses the analogy of a Father to illustrate to us certain positive characteristics that can be seen in earthly fathers, people can, without being aware of it, project bad attributes particularly from fathers (but also mothers and any other person seen as an authority figure) onto God. Throughout my career, I have made it a point to remind people that God’s fatherly characteristics are those of, not just a good father but, a perfect one, since God is perfect and that concept has been helpful to them.

There is a term in psychology when dealing with boundary violations that is called a withdrawal of love. An example of this emotional violation is when a parent who is displeased with the child, whether for poor behavior or even just behavior against the parent’s personal preferences, responds with anger.

Even if the child’s behavior was ethically unacceptable and needed some form of discipline, the discipline included more than just corrective action; it was carried out with types angry behaviors which portrayed that the parent no longer loved the child due to his behavior. Parents like this, often unintentionally, also display behavior that conveys to the child that his actions were a personal insult to the parent. This results in a performance-based relationship. “If you do what I like, I’ll love you. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Tags: apprehension, boundary violations, comfort, emotional baggage, emotional healing, failure, family, Father God, fear, God's love, mercy, projection, rejection, withdrawal of love