How much does guilt and self rejection hold you back from what is most important to you in life?

Do guilty feelings keep you from confidence, happiness, and success? Feelings of guilt or self rejection will usually hold you back from most of what you desire out of life unless you choose to change those mindsets and bring restoration to your confidence and self esteem.

I have been enjoying a book by Brennan Manning called, Abba’s Child; it was a recent gift from a friend. In the beginning of the book, he discusses his own path to overcoming shame and self rejection. He is aware that his own past experiences are so common in the human experience that many people will benefit from the results of his journey to self acceptance and value.

One of the main behaviors that cause a person to live with guilt and self rejection is the habit of projecting his or her feelings of self onto God.

The emotional weight is great when one feels shame or self disapproval of past choices, decisions, or just the person that you are. How much greater is that weight when one convinces himself that his Heavenly Father, his Creator, the most phenomenal being in the universe thinks all the same negative, condemning thoughts about him? Yet, this is a typical thought pattern in the human experience, though we are usually unaware that this is what we are doing.

Usually included in these projected thoughts is the idea that life’s good and bad times signal God’s approval or rejection.

As Manning says, it is easy to feel loved by God when life is going well, all your support systems are in place, and hence, your self acceptance is good; however, when dreams are shattered or failures take place, your guilt and self rejection are often projected onto God. In your mind, He appears “fickle and unpredictable.” When something good takes place, you feel that you have His love and approval. When a bad event happens, you think it is a sign of His disapproval and rejection of you as a person worth being loved. (1)

Manning has a beautiful, rather tongue-in-cheek statement about projecting one’s own self image onto God’s view of you:

We cannot assume that He feels about us the way we feel about ourselves unless we love ourselves compassionately, intensely, and freely…God is relentlessly tender and compassionate toward us, just as we are, not in spite of our sins and faults, but with them. Though God does not condone evil, He does not withhold His love because there is evil in us.” (2)

Choosing to come out of hiding in your spiritual relationship opens the doors to endless possibilities in spiritual intimacy.

Manning brings to the forefront 2 demonstrations of God’s own desire that failure and guilt not keep a person from a loving relationship with Him. One illustration is that of the father character in the Parable of the Prodigal Son; he ran to welcome home the son who returned after ruining his life. Jesus told the parable to illustrate God’s own view and subsequent actions toward us of redemptive love. The other example is historical. In the fall of mankind, Adam and Eve were hiding in shame and guilt from their daily time of loving relationship and conversation with Father God. God, even knowing their failures, came seeking Adam and Eve to continue a loving relationship with them. (3) Manning paraphrases the thoughts of God to end our self hatred:

Acknowledge and accept who I want to be for you: a Savior of boundless compassion, infinite patience, unbearable forgiveness, and love that keeps no score of wrongs. Quit projecting onto Me your own feelings about yourself. At this moment your life is a bruised reed and I will not crush it, a smoldering wick and I will not quench it. You are in a safe place. (3)

Releasing yourself from the need of perfectionism results in a blissful state of safety with self and God.

Like many religious people, Manning says he proclaimed God’s unconditional love for years, convicted in his head but never convinced in his heart. He only felt safe in his relationship with God when he saw himself as successful in being generous, noble, loving—perfect! Once he chose to end the negative projections onto God and release the need for perfectionism, Manning was able to internalize and finally feel God’s unrelenting love. Here is a great quote on his new sense of safety:

To feel safe is to…feel liked and accepted, not having to hide anymore and distract myself with books, television, movies, ice cream, shallow conversation…no need to impress. Unself-conscious, calm, unafraid, loved, valued. (4)

Rather than carrying guilt, one can strive to echo the apostle Paul’s feelings in 2 Cor.12:9, “I shall be very happy to make my weak nesses my special boast so thaqt the power of Christ may stay over me.”

Manning’s conclusion is that a “sense of safety with God results in a sense of safety with self,” with all your noble points and failures, strengths and weaknesses. Knowing you exist in a safe loving relationship with Father God, the most phenomenal being in the universe, realize there are now no limits to confidence, happiness, dreams, and success you can achieve!

Synopsis of concepts are from Brennan Manning’s “Abba’s Child,” ISBN-13: 978-1-57683-334-6
1. pg.21,pg.19
2. pp.19-20
3. pg.22
4. pg.27

As I was going through journal notes this morning from the past several months, I came across several quotes on peace that I thought I’d share with you. This is an unusual type of post for this blog. My desire is that these points will help to solidify your peace of mind when fear tries to rob it. Following most quotes, I’ll have some comments to ensure the steps for attaining peace are as clear as possible.

Peace of Mind Begins by Your Communication with God Controlling Your Thought Life.

Col. 3:15 Let the peace of Christ continually act as umpire in your hearts, settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds…and be thankful, giving praise.

God encourages us in this quote to allow His peace to umpire the fearful thoughts that battle in your mind. When faced with fear, one has a choice to let the fears in his mind run rampant, or allow God’s peace to put those questions and fears to rest with finality.

Ex. 14:13,14 Fear not; stand firm, confident, undismayed and see the salvation of the Lord which He will work for you today. For the oppression you have seen today you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace and remain at rest.

See in this peace quote the instruction from God to not fear or be dismayed. More importantly for this section of our discussion, He says, “You hold your peace and remain at rest.” Again, some disciplined action on your own part to control your thoughts is necessary for peace of mind.

Peace of Mind Comes from a Knowledge of God’s Character and Your Reflection of His Character:

2 Tim. 1:5,7 I am reminded of your sincere faith, the leaning of your entire personality on God in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, goodness, faith. God did not give us a spirit of timidity but He has given us a spirit of power, love, of calm and well-balanced mind, discipline, and self-control.

If you still struggle with religious misconceptions from childhood of an evil, unforgiving, condemning God, it will be difficult to obtain peace. You need to resolve those with truth. As this peace quote says, God’s desire is that your entire personality relies on His ability and goodness due to you having a state of total confidence in His character.

Knowledge of God’s Favor Brings Peace of Mind:

Ps. 97:11 Light is sown for the uncompromisingly righteous and strewn along their pathway, and joy for the upright in heart, the irrepressible joy which comes from consciousness of His favor and protection.

Consciousness of God’s favor and protection brings peace resulting in great joy; the consciousness of God’s favor precede the peace and resulting joy.

Sensing the Depth of Father God’s Love for You Brings Peace:

Jn. 17:26 [Jesus prayed...] I have… revealed Your character and Your very Self, and I will continue to make You known, that the love which You have bestowed upon Me may be felt in their hearts.

Just as in a healthy marriage, knowing the depth of your spouse’s love for you brings peace in many situations, so it is with knowing God’s love. In this quote, Jesus is praying about His revealing the character of Father God to mankind; notice the purpose-that the same amount and type of love Father God has for Jesus Himself would be felt in our hearts.

Jn. 16:24,27 Now ask and keep on asking and you will receive, so that your joy, gladness, delight may be full and complete…For the Father Himself tenderly loves you.

Knowing You have Reconciled Matters between You and God Brings Peace:

Rom. 5:1,2 Since we are acquitted and given a right standing with God through faith, let us grasp the fact that we have the peace of reconciliation to hold and to enjoy through Jesus. Through Him we have by faith into this state of God’s favor in which we firmly and safely stand.

God expects us to derive joy and peace from the knowledge that we have a right standing with God, that the relationship between us and Him has been reconciled and made right. Notice that this healing of the relationship is through faith; also take note that this state of favor with God is rock-firm and safe, not unstable like relationships are with people. Knowing we have His favor means knowing we have His attentiveness and help. The result is inner peace.

Dependence on God Brings Peace:

Col. 3:17 Do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus and in dependence upon His Person, giving praise…

If you continually feel that you must solve the insolvable of life on your own, peace will come and go at a moment’s notice. When suddenly hit with a situation that brings fear or dismay, one’s first response should be that you are not in this alone, you have a higher power upon which to depend, and countless promises from Him for whatever the source of your fear.

Jn. 16:33 In Me you may have perfect peace and confidence…Be of good cheer-take courage, be confident, certain, undaunted-for I have overcome the world. I have deprived it of the power to harm you.

Visualize the level of comfort that a fearful child receives from being held in the arms of a loving father. Visualize the comfort a grieving person receives in the arms of a loving friend or spouse. Now visualize the comfort that a newborn baby receives when placed in the arms of its mother so that he can hear her heartbeat and know that safety and loving nurturing is still there.

This is the same visual picture God gives of Himself in His relationship with us.

Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him. The one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders. (Deut.33:12)

Where is your source of comfort and what is its depth?

God desires that we receive whatever comfort possible from our human relationships, but whether that is available to you or not, nothing can compare to the comfort you can receive from resting in the arms of your loving Father God, resting between His shoulders — a level of closeness in which you can “hear His heartbeat” and know that all His nurturing love and safety is there for you. God does bless our lives with His love through other people, but He also provides a level of comfort that does not exist anywhere else other than by taking time alone with Him in undisturbed meditation, allowing His Spirit to communicate to your mind and spirit His thoughts of love, wisdom, encouragement, comfort, and inspiration. Remember, you can hear His voice. Jesus said, “My sheep know my voice.” He would not have said that if God did not speak. Also, He said that God’s Spirit would reveal or disclose to you things of God, things only God knows (Jn. 16:13,14; 1 Cor. 2:9.10)

Comfort and/or peace are a rarity in these days in which we live, yet something most people are desperately longing for. Slow down, listen, take time to hear God’s heartbeat and allow Him to speak comfort to you!

Table of contents for From Rejection to Self Esteem

1. From Rejection to Self Esteem Part 1
2. From Rejection to Self Esteem Part 2

In rejection recovery, realize that negative thoughts cannot be changed without replacing them with positive ones.

This is Part 2 of a 2 part post.  If you missed Part 1, please use the series link above to read it first as Part 1 covers the two initial steps for recovering from rejection.

To overcome the negativity that is overrunning your thought life as a result of the rejection, you must actively make yourself think on thoughts that will move you forward to the productive life you should be living. There are 3 main ways to replace thoughts of rejection.

1. Base your value on God’s value of you. With all the beauty that exists in creation, with all the billions of people, God still loves you and considers you precious and honored in His sight (Is. 43:4). Scripture describes that God saw your unformed body before you were born, already knew all the days of your life before it began, and that His thoughts of you outnumber the grains of sand–because He thinks so often about you. (Ps. 139:15-18) Throughout the up’s and down’s of life, it is essential that you base your value of yourself on the value God sees in you. This is the only way your value of yourself can remain constant. It cannot be based on people because people come and go in our lives, even if it is by death. Your value cannot be based on your career or other abilities because, one day, you will no longer be able to do those things.

2. Be your own cheerleader. This is a self-help tip that I’ve heard Joel Osteen say many times and it is worth repeating. Every day, get up in the morning and be your own cheerleader. Say good things about yourself to yourself! Speak to yourself about God’s value of you. Throughout the day, remind yourself of your value and your abilities. And, it doesn’t hurt to aim high. It is like the Law of Attraction. You speak those positive things to yourself even if you are not there yet so that you will eventually develop those qualities. Here is a sample list that I compiled from a couple of Joel’s broadcasts:

-I have unprecedented favor today.
-I have new opportunities for my career and personal life.
-God is in love with me.
-People like me.
-I am talented.
-I am creative.
-I am strong.
-I have excellence and determination.
-Whatever I do prospers and succeeds.

You can add to that list accomplishments which you desire that have not taken place yet, speaking them in present tense. Such as, “I have many loving people in my life. I am free from debt. I’m taking my dream vacation, etc.” As in the Law of Attraction, speaking positively to yourself about things that you desire to accomplish will make you more creative and more aware of opportunities to help you fulfill those goals.

3. Think repeatedly throughout day about those who do love you. Most of us have several people in our lives whom we value and who value us, even though it may be at varying levels of love. Even if you are temporarily in a stage where you think the only person who values you is your pet, think throughout the day about those who do love you or care about your well-being.

Move forward.

The past is never worth staying in. It is time to move forward. In addition to ways we’ve already mentioned, move forward by taking time in your schedule for people who do love or care about you. Maybe the person who rejected you was a former friend in whom you had invested a great deal of time. Move forward by spending time with those positive relationships that may have been neglected while you were focused on that other person, such as relatives, other friends, or even co-workers. Also move forward by accomplishing a project around the house or online course you put off doing due to time constraints from the past relationship. Or, do something for yourself you have always wanted to do, such as a certain vacation.

Finally, always encourage yourself with God’s unfailing, unchanging love for you.

People’s love may change, people may move in and out of your life, or they may reject you and never even give themselves the opportunity to get to know you. God, however, will never reject you. He says in John 6:37, “The person who comes to me I will never reject.” In James 4:8, He promises, “Come near to Me and I will come near to you.” In other words, God will be responsive to your desire to know Him and have a close relationship with Him. You can trust Him! His love for you will not fail you! “I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever (Ps. 52:8).”

(1) Click here to read the article on Determining Your Destiny which lists Creflo’s 8 steps to direct the course of your life to your goals and restoration.

Other Related Posts:
Handling the Fear of God’s Rejection

Hope for the Betrayed Heart

Table of contents for From Rejection to Self Esteem

1. From Rejection to Self Esteem Part 1
2. From Rejection to Self Esteem Part 2

Rejection comes to each of us, but we can take steps to heal and move forward with the productive life we deserve and desire.

Many readers have asked for help in dealing with rejection from parents and other relationships. Whether rejection comes from a family member, friend, co-worker, or even a mere stranger, it leaves us with a wide variety of emotions, such as pain and guilt, and questions as to why someone would feel that way about us. Let’s cover several steps that help us to heal and move forward to a happier life.

First, don’t spend a great deal of time questioning why.

Unless the person broke off the relationship due to a major personality flaw on your part which they directly communicated to you as the cause of the rejection — and you already know you need to work on that aspect — quit questioning why. If there was no such communication on the offender’s part, speculation will not help you for the following reason. If the cause was a personality flaw on your part and they were not willing to communicate in such a way as to allow for healing and reconciliation in the relationship, the rejector is not presently, and may never be, in a mental/emotional state to have a long-term, healthy relationship. As it is, it is much more likely, since they were unwilling to communicate in a way as to provide for reconciliation, that the major emotional issues are on their part.

Second, quit being too hard on yourself.

If you are aware of certain mistakes you made that contributed to the rejection, you can always work on changing those behaviors, even getting profession help if needed. However, you must be realistic in accessing your failures. Usually a person who is suffering from rejection is too hard on him or herself, taking more than their share of the blame. Full blame in a relationship failure is never solely due to one person, even if it is something such as the lack of the other person being willing to communicate in such a way that adjustments in the relationship could have been made.

Similar to overcoming depression, you must replace incorrect, harmful thoughts with positive ones.  

Why? Because your thoughts will influence the direction of your life.  A book by Creflo Dollar describes the pattern of our lives very effectively. He describes it this way:

-Your thoughts, whether positive or negative, will create your emotions.
-Those emotions will then influence your decisions.
-Your decisions cause you to take action.
-Actions form habits or your lifestyle.
-Those habits determine your destiny — the final destination of your life.

You can follow the reference to read more about Creflo’s book. Realize now the absolute necessity of not allowing your thoughts of the rejection to continue. If you do, those thoughts  of rejection will produce self-defeating emotions and decisions, leading to destructive lifestyle habits. You will cause your destiny to be directed by a harmful person! Instead, you must choose to change your thoughts to beneficial ones that will direct you to the destiny you desire! (1)

This is Part 1 of a 2 part post.  In Part 2, we will cover several ways to replace thoughts of rejection as well as how to move forward with your life.

(1) Click here to read the article on Determining Your Destiny which lists Creflo’s 8 steps to direct the course of your life to your goals and restoration.

Table of contents for Believe You Deserve to Be Well

1. Believe You Deserve to be Well- Part 1
2. Believe You Deserve to be Well- Part 2

What can practically be done about the past failures and guilt?

There are some simple steps you can daily implement to help you move past guilt.  (If you missed Part 1 of this 2-part post, please use the above series link. Part 1 explains what God Himself says about His compassionate, forgiving, uncomdemning nature to help you remove emotional hindrances in receiving the good He desires to bring into your life. This is heavier reading than most posts on this site but should help those of you struggling with guilt, condemnation, and other negative thought patterns that hinder healing. )

First, a reminder– as mentioned in Part 1, to receive healing it is only logical that all habits of a destructive lifestyle need to be left in the past.   Scripture refers to this as repentance, a 180 degree turn around. Otherwise, it is like the continually unsuccessful dieter who starves herself or himself for a couple of days, only to binge for several days thereafter. Next, as also mentioned in Part 1 of this post, just as God’s mercies toward us are new every morning we need to have mercy on ourselves and release the guilt of past failures. If God deems us worthy of such mercy, we can honestly show such mercy to ourselves.

But what about those who are plagued by guilt, not as much self-imposed, but from inaccurate childhood teachings about God that have left them with images of an angry, harmful, unforgiving God? If you suffer from harmful, inaccurate childhood teachings about God, it will take some discipline of focusing on truth to eradicate that input.

On the practical side, many people print out a list of verses such as covered in this article and spend sometimes even months of daily repeating out loud the truth God says about Himself, i.e., God’s continually renewing compassion, graciousness, desire for our wholeness and superabundant life in quality. Another beneficial verse along this line is Psalm 103:10, “He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.” If people have put into your mind as a child the image of God standing over you eagerly desiring to punish you for the slightest mistake, it is a fallacy to be eradicated. ( For those who would like to read an extended passage of Scripture that discusses numerous groups of people who suffered from their own failures yet God, in His compassion, restored their lives, Psalm 107 is posted below this article.)

On a similar vein, Psalm 103 speaks of numerous good that God eagerly bestows on us, but verse 5 specifically says that He is the God “who satisfies your desires with good things.” A person ridden with guilt, self-imposed or from inaccurate religious teaching, needs to admit to himself that such feelings result in anything but feeling of an overwhelmingly satisfied life. God, on the other hand, satisfies our lives with good things. There does need to be a level of cooperation here, and some self-evaluation is necessary to determine if we are cooperating in receiving the good.

You can begin anew in your view of yourself and of God.

Cooperate with God in letting go of the guilt from false images of Him—replacing them with truth—and in the forgiving of yourself. Taking the verses discussed in this article, these truths about God, and focusing on them will go a long way in aiding your healing. As you come to terms with how much good God desires for you, how much healing He desires for you, (Scripture calls this renewing your mind), it will bring relief from the self-abasement. The realization that God values you so highly that He continually exists in a state of desiring your healing and well-being can increase one’s self worth and cause you to grasp hold of wanting the same healing, wholeness, and well-being for you that God wants for you.

Psalm 107

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.
Let the redeemed of the LORD say this– those he redeemed from the hand of the foe,
those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south.
Some wandered in desert wastelands, finding no way to a city where they could settle.
They were hungry and thirsty, and their lives ebbed away. Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle. Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.

Some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom, prisoners suffering in iron chains,
for they had rebelled against the words of God and despised the counsel of the Most High. So he subjected them to bitter labor; they stumbled, and there was no one to help.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress.
He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains.
Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron.

Some became fools through their rebellious ways and suffered affliction because of their iniquities. They loathed all food and drew near the gates of death. Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave. Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men. Let them sacrifice thank offerings and tell of his works with songs of joy.

Others went out on the sea in ships; they were merchants on the mighty waters.
They saw the works of the LORD, his wonderful deeds in the deep. For he spoke and stirred up a tempest that lifted high the waves. They mounted up to the heavens and went down to the depths; in their peril their courage melted away. They reeled and staggered like drunken men; they were at their wits’ end. Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven. Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men. Let them exalt him in the assembly of the people and praise him in the council of the elders.

He turned rivers into a desert, flowing springs into thirsty ground, and fruitful land into a salt waste, because of the wickedness of those who lived there. He turned the desert into pools of water and the parched ground into flowing springs; there he brought the hungry to live, and they founded a city where they could settle. They sowed fields and planted vineyards that yielded a fruitful harvest; he blessed them, and their numbers greatly increased, and he did not let their herds diminish. Then their numbers decreased, and they were humbled by oppression, calamity and sorrow; he who pours contempt on nobles made them wander in a trackless waste. But he lifted the needy out of their affliction and increased their families like flocks. The upright see and rejoice, but all the wicked shut their mouths.

Whoever is wise, let him heed these things and consider the great love of the LORD.

Table of contents for Believe You Deserve to Be Well

1. Believe You Deserve to be Well- Part 1
2. Believe You Deserve to be Well- Part 2

Whether or Not You Believe You Deserve to be Well Greatly Affects All Aspects of Your Health!

Though it sounds like an absurd question, but medical science has proven that your mental perspective, what you think about yourself and God, has a great effect on physical, emotional, and spiritual health. (This is Part 1 of a 2-part post. It is heavier reading than most posts on this site but should help those of you struggling with guilt, condemnation, and other negative thought patterns that hinder healing. )

For the purpose of example, there is a particular area in the medical field in which the procedure actually brings back to one’s mind past emotional hurts that are causing current physical health problems. Brief, physical treatments are then done which actually remove the pent up emotion from that bad emotional experience which has been stored in the body. During the physical treatment, you are asked to state out loud phrases along the lines of, “I deserve to be healthy. I deserve to be free from allergies” etc. People are then cured of various recurring physical ailments once that stored negative emotion from a past experience was removed from the body.

Believing that you deserve to be well is just as necessary a perspective in the area of faith and the spiritual realm.

In Matthew 9:29, while bringing healing to people, Jesus said, “According to your faith will it be done to you.” The Amplified Version (expanded from the Greek) says, “According to your faith and trust and reliance on the power invested in Me be it done to you.” Most anyone you talk to, regardless of their religious beliefs or the lack of them, believes that Jesus healed people. Yet even Jesus said that people’s healing was dependent on whether or not people believed that they would be healed or, one may say, whether or not they believed that God desired to heal them. (1. Click on the text link for “faith” to open a window with the Greek definition. 2.Click on “to be done” for the Greek definition. 3. Click the text link here to read why I use Greek definitions.)

Whether you are a believer in God, or if you are just interested in knowing what Scripture says about God’s desire to heal our lives, it will be beneficial to focus on a few brief examples which show God’s heart and character with regard to healing. This insight will help one develop a perspective that believes he or she deserves to be well.

Regardless of our past failures, we can believe that we “deserve to be healed” or that God desires for us to be healed. Scripture says, “Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. (Lam. 3:22,23)” The phrase “great love” is, at times, translated into English as “mercy.” Hence, you may hear people say that God’s mercy towards us is new every morning. When this verse is studied in the original Hebrew, it does speak that, first, God’s loving-kindness and compassions toward us start over new and fresh every morning, as if we had a clean slate.

Second, these feelings toward us from God are far superior to what we experience in the fluctuating human emotions of the people around us. Not only are God’s feelings of loving-kindness and multiple compassions toward us secure and steady, i.e. faithful, but they are exceedingly, abundantly, plenteously secure and steady. Where on earth can one find such a relationship as that? Meditating on that reality alone of God’s true feelings toward us can bring a flood of healing to one’s spirit.

Third, once we realize that God’s mercies toward us are new every morning, it is time to have mercy on ourselves, to forgive ourselves of our failures and stop allowing the guilt of the past to keep us from physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual healing! (In a future article, we will discuss in more detail how to deal with recurring guilt.) (4. Click links for full definitions in Hebrew of the main words in the above verses: great love, compassions, great, faithfulness. 5. Click here to read why I use Hebrew definitions.)

When we feel undeserving of being healed, or feel that there is some reason that God does not desire us to be well, we need to change our focus from guilt and self-abasement to the truth of what God says about His perspective in this matter.

At one point in my life, when I was going through deep grief from the loss of a dear friend to cancer, God spoke a specific word of encouragement to my spirit. Knowing that the untimely death of my friend was humanly inexplainable, God said to me, “When you face things in life which you are not capable of understanding, which seem to make absolutely no sense in the human realm, focus on what you know to be true.” Throughout Scripture, God says of Himself, “I am compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” It was holding on to the truths regarding the nature and character of God that brought healing in that time of grief. This principle has come back to mind many times through the years and has brought healing in a variety of situations.

There are countless names that God uses to describe Himself throughout Scripture; they address His nature or character. In Exodus 15:16, God says, “…for I am the LORD, who heals you.” The name God uses in the Hebrew is Y@hovah Rapha’, meaning the eternal, self-existent one who heals and makes thoroughly whole. (6. Click here for Hebrew definition of “Lord who heals you.”) It would be negligent not to mention that this statement is prefaced by a condition of obedience to righteous standards. However, I think most people would agree that it goes without saying that if one lives a life that is destructive in nature to yourself or others, it would be absurd to expect healing when you are repeatedly causing the damage yourself. God chose this name to express to us that it is His nature to heal, to make our lives thoroughly whole. This means God desires healing for us in every aspect of our lives—physically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually.

This desire of God to exist in a healing relationship with us, that it is His very nature to do so, is again expressed through Jesus’ life and words.

In John 10:10, Jesus says, “The thief [referring to satan or forces of evil] does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” (7. Click here for the Greek definition of “abundance.”) The translation into the English word, “abundantly,” does not do justice to what Jesus was saying here. The Greek word refers to exceedingly, superabundantly, above and beyond measure in quantity and quality, even vehemently so. God’s expression of Himself through Jesus and the work that He completed while here in human form, was to bring to each person the type of well-being physically, emotionally, etc. that usually we only dream of. Yet Jesus said His purpose in coming was to bring exactly that to us. Yes, God desires all aspects of your life to be healed!

(In Part 2 of this post, we will more specifically discuss dealing with feelings of guilt and past failures.)

I mention in various articles on this site how our view of God can either aid or hinder our healing. If we doubt God’s love for us, feel unworthy of His goodness, or struggle with poor childhood teaching which portrayed God as evil and vindictive, such ideas actually affect our ability to receive good from God. It is much like the psychological concept of projection. I’ll just briefly touch on it here; a person is hindered from good, positive progress in life with regards to jobs, relationships, etc. because he/she projects negative feelings and perceptions from past experiences into present job situations and relationships. Without realizing he/she is doing this, the person actually recreates a constant cycle of problems in the present situations similar to ones in the past. To put it in simplest form, a negative view of how others want to act toward you can cause people to “treat you poorly” and create more negative experiences; however, it is your own response and actions based on your negative perceptions from the past that make people again react negatively toward you.

In a similar way, our projection of negative feelings or actions onto God which do not exist in His person affect our receptibility to healing and other good from Him.

As I cover our own perceptions more in other articles, my purpose here is to briefly provide some comforting, health-giving passages about God’s activity in our environment that relay how much God desires that our lives be safe, well, happy, and whole.I’ll put the concepts into a paraphrase here with the verses of origin below it.

As you progress in your daily journey through life, God says that He will make the rough places in your path smooth. The crooked paths that slow your progress He will make straight. Those mountains that seem so overwhelming will be leveled; the valleys that have caused you heartache will be raised up. Even your darkest moment will be turned into light before you. God says that He will be a shield “around” you, encompassing you with protection. He will impart glory on you and lift up your head when life’s pressures have weighed you down. Not only will God go before you, making a good path for you, but He will be your rear guard; He will watch your back. His goodness and mercy will follow you all the days of your life. He is with you. He will never leave you or forsake you, so you do not need to be afraid o discouraged.

In spite of how others have treated you in life, regardless of past poor input that may have created negative perceptions of God’s feelings for you, allow these truths that He Himself speaks about His loving care for your life replace the negativity of the past and make you receptive to His goodness. Let the presence of God grant you a full comprehension today of the loving care He wants to actively display in your life for your whole life!

• Isa 42:16 I I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.
• Lu 3:5 Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill made low. The crooked roads shall become straight, the rough ways smooth.
• Ps 3:3 But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.
• Isa 52:12 The LORD will go before you; God will be your rear guard.
• Ps 23:6 Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
• De 31:8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Most people would agree that joy must be a matter of the spirit.

Happiness is usually defined as short term enjoyment that comes from positive, present life events. This is in contrast to joy, which is considered lasting because it is not derived from circumstances but from your inner self, your spirit. The meaning of the common Greek word for joy — chara — entails calm delight and exceedingly joyful. The Greek word for complete — pleroo — is usually combined with the term for joy; it literally means to “cram full a net,” or figuratively to “satisfy, fill up, fulfill, supply.” This gives us the visual picture that joy is lasting like a calm delight, yet excessive, like an overflowing fishing net, bringing complete satisfaction and fulfillment to our lives. Joy supplies completely what we desire most in life, yet it comes from within.

You can find your spirit’s source of joy.

Your spirit, the eternal part of you, comes from the eternal Spirit of God. Since your spirit was created by God, did God intend for your spirit to exist in a state of joy? Absolutely. God describes His desire for your joy this way:

I say these things…so that My joy made be made full and complete and perfect in you and you may experience My delight fulfilled in you, that My enjoyment may be perfected in your own soul, and you may have My gladness within you filling your heart. Jn. 17:13

What is significant in this quote is that God states that He desires the source of our joy, delight, enjoyment, gladness to be derived from His joy, delight, enjoyment, gladness.

What aspects of your spiritual existence are the source of joy?

This is in no way a complete list, but it should give you several points to ponder.

Joy from Receiving

One usually thinks about the joy of giving to others, but God desires that His giving to each of us evokes joy.

Now ask and keep on asking and you will receive, so that your joy, gladness, delight may be full and complete…For the Father Himself tenderly loves you. Jn. 16:24,27

Joy from Interaction

Seeing God’s interaction in one’s life is a source of joy. Remember, in the quote prior, that God does expect you to ask Him for what you need and/or desire.

For you make me glad by your deeds, O LORD; I sing for joy at the works of your hands. Ps. 92:4

Joy from a Loving Relationship

Joy comes from the knowledge of God’s love for you. This knowledge should also be your basis for a healthy, unchangeable self-esteem. This quote below uses the same 2 Greek words again for “joy” and “complete.”

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. Jn. 15:9-11

Joy from Trust

The ability to trust in the relationship existing between your spirit and God’s Spirit is another source of joy. The word here translated as trust is the same one usually translated “faith.”

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him. Rom. 15:13

Joy from Guidelines

Even as children feel more safe and secure when raised within a set of guidelines, the guidelines God provides for your life are intended to produce a successful, abundant life, thus being a source of joy.

The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes. Ps. 19:8

Joy from God’s Person

Just as you derive joy from spending time in the presence of an earthly person whom you love, spending time in God’s presence (or with His person as this Greek word implies) — your spirit communicating with His Spirit — also evokes a lasting joy. Two points to notice from this quote: First, it again mentions that the benefit of God’s guidelines are that they are paths of life and, second, the phrase “fill me with joy” are the same Greek words mentioned above which are usually translated “complete” and “joy.”

You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence. Acts 2:28

Joy from Comfort

Amid all the struggles that exist in this life, comfort is necessary to continue in a state of joy. God refers to Himself as the “Father of compassion and the God of ALL comfort, who comforts us in ALL our troubles…(2 Cor. 1:3,4)” In the greatest times of anxiety, look for His comfort to bring continuity to your state of joy.

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. Ps. 94:19

May your life from this point forward be completely overflowing with a true joy — one which is exceedingly joyful, yet full of calm delight — as you experience all these aspects of joy that God created to exist daily in your spirit!

[Above Greek definitions are from Strong’s Dictionary of New Testament Words.]

Table of contents for Guilt-Free Confidence

1. Guilt-Free Confidence Part 1
2. Guilt-Free Confidence Part 2

Continuing with the second part of our post on Guilt-Free Confidence, let’s look at 2 benefits from a guilt-free, confident relationship with God.

(If you missed Part 1 of Guilt-Free Confidence, please use the series link above to go there now.)

When you exist in a guilt-free relationship with God, it changes how you communicate with God in prayer.

Look at this beautiful quote from Heb 4:15,16 about confidence in your relationship with God.

For we do not have a High Priest [reference to Jesus] who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning. Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God’s unmerited favor to us sinners), that we may receive mercy for our failures and find grace to help in good time for every need, appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it.

Remember what I said about guilt in the beginning of this post? Guilt is a type of fear that keeps you from living at your best in a relationship. When you realize that God has removed your guilt and you live in a firm, safe relationship with Him, that confidence changes all your conversation with Him. You freely come to God with your needs, feeling confident in His help. The word “confidence” in the Hebrews 4 quote is the Greek term, “parrhesia,” meaning “outspokenness, bluntness, boldness of speech, freely, openly, plainly.” A clear understanding of your relationship with God will cause you to be confident enough to talk freely and plainly with God about your needs, desires, and dreams.

When you exist in a guilt-free relationship with God, it changes the level of prayers that you see answered.

Remember in Matthew 9:29 what Jesus said regarding results from our prayers, “According to your faith it will be done to you.” When you realize that you have a firm, safe relationship with God upon which you trust and rely, such confidence greatly increases your faith. You believe in God’s loving care for you. You believe that He listens to your prayers and follows through with the promises to you that you see in scripture. As a result, you freely come to God with your needs, feeling completely confident in His help or having “faith”, and thus receive the answers to your prayers. According to your faith – your trust and reliance on the relationship with Him – the answers to your prayers take place.

1. Greek definitions were taken from Strong’s Dictionary of New Testament Words.
2. Meriam-Webster Dictionary
3. thefreedictionary.com