When you look at your life, is your lifestyle one of true enjoyment, solely maintenance, or survivable chaos?

I mentioned recently about the need to “plan for life,” especially when life’s responsibilities appear to be squeezing your dreams out of the picture and life becomes a process solely of maintenance. However, I have been reminded how easy it is for people to believe their lifestyles are intended to be chaotic to be fulfilling.

My spouse has been doing business for the past year with a couple whose lives are in a constant state of chaos — by choice. The one person’s personality lends to feeling that this state of chaos is necessary for a fulfilling life. Both of them, being in a religious environment, either consciously or subconsciously believe that this state of “chaos” is a matter of religious sacrifice or higher calling. Working in religious fields, I’ve seen this concept too often in religious people, and unknowingly lived by that philosophy myself in my 20’s and 30’s. The effects of this barely tolerable lifestyle are already becoming visible in their business decisions, as time for restful meditation is lacking, and in their kids.

If your lifestyle is not one of true enjoyment, the mental perspective needs to be engrained that a healthy, restful way of life is intended by design and necessary for fulfillment.

Jesus expressed God’s design for your life in Matthew 11:28-30, Message translation.

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.

Several points are interesting in this translation. First, the religious concept of living in a chaotic state of overwork as being somehow spiritual is a false religious concept that will burn you out. Second, living the way God intends for you, a healthy lifestyle with rest and freedom, will enable you to “recover your life,” true life.

Similar thoughts are expressed effectively in the Amplified translation.

Come to Me all you who are…overburdened and I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls…Learn of Me…and you will find rest, relief, ease, refreshment, recreation and blessed quiet…For My yoke is wholesome, useful, good — not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant.

Notice God’s plan of lifestyle is not one that is overburdened. We must remove such religious misconceptions from our minds. His way of healthy lifestyles includes refreshment, recreation, and is not pressing, but wholesome, comfortable, and pleasant.

If your life is one of solely maintenance or what you believed to be “constructive chaos,” it is time to restructure and reorganize. Go back and re-read the Planning for Life post if you have not and make a healthy lifestyle plan. Or, if you made a life plan and you now realize that you created one that is chaotic, take some time this week to re-evaluate and restructure it with refreshment, recreation, wholesomeness, comfort so that you can “recover your life.”

When is the last time you committed the random act of kindness which we all hold in so high esteem?

Gifting someone else’s life with an unexpected, and even undeserved, kindness is living at the peak of human character, achieving one of the most perfect elements of the human spirit. While most anyone believes that random acts of kindness are a part of the ultimate lifestyle and a thing a beauty in life, stress and busyness can prevent you from consistently thinking creatively enough to live out such acts in your own life.

People of great admiration throughout history have spurred us on to live a lifestyle of random acts of kindness.

I’m pasting a few quotes here from both secular and religious authors with links to 2 sites of quotes which you would probably enjoy reading as well.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless. Mother Teresa

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profundity. Kindness in giving creates love. Lao-Tse

Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. Scott Adams(1)

Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.
Mother Teresa

Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstandings, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate. Albert Schweitzer(2)

Rather than missing out on one of the highest joys of life by allowing busyness to steal from you those opportunities for random acts of kindness, decide to daily envision yourself as “clothed” with kindness.

When God encourages us to reach for the pinnacle of what is happiest, healthiest, and best in the human spirit, he describes it as being “clothed” or totally covered with kindness.

As God’s people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Col 3:12

Though clothing may vary from culture to culture, to correctly envision this statement, you must envision it as in the Middle Eastern culture of 2000 years ago when it was written. Clothing was from head to toe. God says to envision yourself as being completely enveloped in kindness, along with other similar traits. If you follow the advice and envision yourself that way each day, it will be easier to flow into the creative mindset of committing random acts of kindness.

What does kindness entail?

You can think of a million ways to express kindness through the day as you envision yourself as clothed with it, but let’s take just a moment to define the mental concept.

In Scripture, the Hebrew for kindness, checed, includes the concepts of piety, beauty, favor, good deeds, loving kindness, and mercy.(3)

In the Greek part of Scripture, 2 words are used. Philanthropia, from which we get our term philanthropy, includes benevolence, fondness, and love of mankind.(4) The other Greek term, chrestotes, includes usefulness morally, excellence in character, gentleness, and goodness.(4)

Don’t deprive yourself of the joy.

In reality, this is probably one of the easiest things you can do in life to be in tune with one of the most excellent parts of the human spirit as God created it as well as bring to yourself, not just the other person, a level of joy that rarely can be matched by any other deed in life. Don’t wait. Go out and commit some random acts of kindness.

1. The first 3 quotes and many others on the topic of kindness may be read at: Suite101.com Personal Development – Acts of Kindness
2. The last 2 quotes and many others on the topic of kindness may be read at: this site by the Prince Edward School District in Canada on Random Acts of Kindness
3. Strong’s Dictionary of Old Testament Words (Hebrew)
4. Strong’s Dictionary of Old Testament Words (Greek)

Do you consider yourself an optimist? If not, it’s time to join this noteworthy group!  Even if you consider yourself fairly optimistic, one always has room to improve on his or her optimism. Or, if you are pretty sure that being optimistic has not yet become a way of life for you, now is the time to change.

People throughout history of whom we view with great respect have been known for their optimism.

We admire them for it. They inspire us with it. It is time to join their ranks! In going through my personal file of famous quotes, I came across some that I had gathered from emails sent to me which I wanted to share with you. Benefit from the wisdom of these influential, optimistic people!

Sir Edmund Hillary was asked this question on goals. It may not appear to directly be on optimism, but I see part of his point being that your satisfaction is obviously in how you choose to view your achievements.

Question: “How does one know whether or not a project is worthy of his or her consideration?” Sir Edmund’s answer: “If you only do what others have already done, you will only feel what others have already felt. However, if you choose to achieve something that no one has ever done, then you will have a satisfaction that no one else has ever had.” (1)

Helen Keller on optimism dictating one’s goals or actions:

No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars or sailed to an uncharted land or opened a new heaven to the human spirit. (2)

J. Gustav White on life being what you make of it:

One man gets nothing but discord out of a piano; another gets harmony. No one finds fault with the piano. Life is like that. (2)

Wilfred Yoder on being optimistic in the midst of extreme physical pain from arthritis:

Question: “How can you say you’re fine when you’re in so much pain” Yoder’s response: “How I feel has very little to do with how I am. You see, the part of me that hurts is just a shell, not the real me, and the real me is fine!” (2)

Tamara Eberlin on optimism and achievement:

Positive thinking is a lot more than blind faith, and its power over people’s lives is awesome. Optimists fare better than pessimists in almost every aspect of life, often achieving more, and enjoying greater social success. Optimistic people are also less susceptible to depression and physical ills. (2)

Winston Churchill on difficulties versus opportunities:

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. (2)

Thomas Edison on disaster, after losing his manufacturing facilities and much of the records of his work due to fire at the age of 67:

There is value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Now we can start anew. (2)

Maria Robinson on overcoming the past:

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. (3)

John Heywood on adversity:

If you will call your troubles experiences, and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you, you will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your circumstances may seem to be. (3)

1. The Most Important Quote of 2007, Second Billion Network Ezine, January 2008

2. David Arnold, January 08 Newsletter. (These quotes were part of a selection gathered by Mr. Arnold. This is a newsletter that showed up in my email box without being requested. I could not find an online link for you to view the whole article.)

3. ThinkExist.com  on Optimism

An important principle of success is staying more focused on the goal than the present obstacles or even the steps to reaching it.

I was reminded of this principle while working toward the completion of all the necessary seasonal responsibilities in my garden. I have quite extensive gardens with a large variety of plants, including over 30 antique rose bushes. Though I have always enjoyed gardening, this time of year’s seasonal requirements get very overwhelming as it takes about 3 months to complete due to other life responsibilities. The care and upkeep is probably too extensive for this time in life, but, when we designed and planted it 15 years ago, it was not possible to foresee the changes in career, family responsibilities, and physical energy in the future. It is a temptation to cause myself continual displeasure by solely viewing all the tasks yet undone rather than staying focused on the forthcoming end result and enjoying the present pleasures my garden during the process of the oiling, fertilizing, pruning, and mulching to reach the goal; it will become a healthy, lush garden that is a delight to the eyes and a joy to share with friends and family.

Here are some results of staying more focused on the end goal than the present obstacles or process:

1. You will maintain a level emotional state of joy and fulfillment, knowing the end of the process will come; you will live the fulfillment of that goal.

2. A clearer focus of your future goals/objectives allows you to be more effective in your present decisions with regard to the future goal.

3. You will maintain a higher energy level when focused daily on the final goal rather than the overall process to achieve it.

Many realms of practical life prove the benefit of staying focused on the goal or end result.

Life coaches, motivational speakers, and business instructors all tell us to “write out” the goals we want to achieve, write out the plan we envision, even the restoration that we need. Writing develops a clear mental picture of the desired end. In turn, this process enables one to notice relevant, beneficial opportunities related to the goal and make wiser decisions to reach the goal all due to staying daily focused on the end picture. It is the Law of Attraction in action.

The benefits of this principle of focusing on the goal flow into more aspects of one’s life than we are usually aware of–personal goals, financial goals, career changes, restoration–but even in the little things. Remember drivers’ education class? When teaching Interstate driving, they instruct you to focus on where the road meets the horizon; if, instead, you only look at the few cars in front of you or a short distance of the open road in front of you, your driving will be unsteady and erratic. You will weave back and forth unknowingly and overcompensate in decisions. It is the same in every aspect of one’s life. Staying focused on the goal will keep you from being unsteady and erratic, wavering from the desired goal, and overcompensating in decisions.

Instruction on one’s spiritual journey also involves a clear, constant focus on the goals.

This principle should be added to your daily spiritual life. Do not settle for where you are. There are greater, unknown aspects waiting to be discovered with your spiritual life and communication levels with God. Grow and benefit by setting goals and keeping them in focus. Here are quotes from Scripture instructing you to approach spiritual life and growth like a runner in a race, free from distractions and hindrances, focused on the clear goal:

But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. Phil 3:13-15

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training…Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly…so that I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. 1 Cor. 9:24-27

Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Heb. 12:1

Famous literary authors have encouraged people through generations to “focus on the goal.”

Though Ralph Waldo Emerson is well-known for his quote, “Life is a journey, not a destination,” encouraging people to enjoy each day of life as opposed to only allowing oneself to enjoy achievements, he also promoted keeping one’s destination in view.

To finish the moment, to find the journey’s end in every step of the road, to live the greatest number of good hours, is wisdom.  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Orison Swett Marden, known for his philosophies on one’s thoughts influencing his life and circumstances, pointed out the determining factor in the success of focusing on the goal:

We advance on our journey only when we face our goal, when we are confident and believe we are going to win out.  Orison Swett Marden

Believe that you will reach your goals, spiritually, financially, relationally, or otherwise. Then keep daily focus on those goals. Rather than feeling overwhelmed by the trip or any apparent lack of progress, you can live effectively and experience greater joy knowing that each day is a day closer to your heart’s desires.

Joy is usually defined as a lasting contentment or fulfillment in life. It is something we all want. The question is, where do we find it?

Most people would agree that joy must be a matter of the spirit.

Happiness is usually defined as short term enjoyment that comes from positive, surrounding events. This is in contrast to joy, which is considered lasting because it is not derived from circumstances but from your inner self, your spirit. The meaning of the common Greek word for joy–chara-consists of calm delight and exceedingly joyful. The Greek word for complete-pleroo-is usually combined with the term for joy; it literally means to “cram full a net,” or figuratively to “satisfy, fill up, fulfill, supply.” This gives us the visual picture that joy is lasting like a calm delight, yet excessive, like an overflowing fishing net, bringing complete satisfaction and fulfillment to our lives. It supplies completely what we desire most in life, yet it comes from within.

You can find your spirit’s source of joy.

Your spirit, the eternal part of you, comes from the eternal Spirit of God. Since your spirit was created by God, did God intend for your spirit to exist in a state of joy? Absolutely. God describes His desire for your joy this way:

I say these things…so that My joy made be made full and complete and perfect in you and you may experience My delight fulfilled in you, that My enjoyment may be perfected in your own soul, and you may have My gladness within you filling your heart. Jn. 17:13

What is significant in this quote is that God states that He desires the source of our joy, delight, enjoyment, gladness to be derived from His joy, delight, enjoyment, gladness.

What aspects of your spiritual existence are the source of joy?

This is in no way a complete list, but it should give you several points to ponder.

Joy from Receiving

One usually thinks about the joy of giving to others, but God desires that His giving to each of us evokes joy.

Now ask and keep on asking and you will receive, so that your joy, gladness, delight may be full and complete…For the Father Himself tenderly loves you. Jn. 16:24,27

Joy from Interaction

Seeing God’s interaction in one’s life is a source of joy. Remember, in the quote prior, that God does expect you to ask Him for what you need and/or desire.

For you make me glad by your deeds, O LORD; I sing for joy at the works of your hands. Ps. 92:4

Joy from a Loving Relationship

Joy comes from the knowledge of God’s love for you. This knowledge should also be your basis for a healthy, unchangeable self-esteem. This quote below uses the same 2 Greek words again for “joy” and “complete.”

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. Jn. 15:9-11

Joy from Trust

The ability to trust in the relationship existing between your spirit and God’s Spirit is another source of joy. The word here translated as trust is the same one usually translated “faith.”

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him. Rom. 15:13

Joy from Guidelines

Even as children feel more safe and secure when raised within a set of guidelines, the guidelines God provides for your life is intended to produce a successful, abundant life, thus being a source of joy.

The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes. Ps. 19:8

Joy from God’s Person

Just as you derive joy from spending time in the presence of an earthly person whom you love, spending time in God’s presence (or with His person as this Greek word implies)-your spirit communicating with His Spirit-also evokes a lasting joy. Two points to notice from this quote: First, it again mentions the benefit of His guidelines as being the paths of life and, second, the phrase “fill me with joy” are the same Greek words mentioned above which are usually translated “complete” and “joy.”

You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence. Acts 2:28

Joy from Comfort

Amid all the struggles that exist in this life, comfort is necessary to continue in a state of joy. God refers to Himself as the “Father of compassion and the God of ALL comfort, who comforts us in ALL our troubles…(2 Cor. 1:3,4)” In the greatest times of anxiety, look for His comfort to bring continuity to your state of joy.

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. Ps. 94:19

Greek definitions are from Strong’s Dictionary of New Testament Words.

The most basic desire of every heart is to be loved solely for your intrinsic value. Though it may be difficult to consistently find people who will fill this void, God’s love can fill that need for true, consistent love on a permanent basis.

My inspiration for today’s blog came from an article by Kenneth Copeland (Faith to Faith, April 3rd) in which he gave this illustration. When parents adopt a baby, it is a decision they make solely out of their own love. The baby has not done anything to earn their love or respect, nor is the adoption based on something the baby did to impress them. Yet that child now has a new life, loving and devoted parents, and enjoys the rights, privileges and provisions of a member of that family. Using this same earthly illustration, God describes how His love for you does not have to be earned—it is an unmerited gift! Ephesians 1:5 says, “For God planned in love for us to be adopted as His own children through Jesus Christ, because it pleased Him and it was His kind intent [desire] (Amplified Version).” Just as an earthly parent in the adoption process, God made a choice solely out of His love to make you His child, to lavish on you His love and devotion, and give you all the rights, privileges and provisions of a member of His family! Allow the full impact of this illustration to bring relief, joy, peace, and the much needed love to your inner spirit knowing that you don’t have to do anything to earn God’s love. Day after day, God’s love for you is there in its totality to consistently fill the basic desire of your heart to be loved regardless of your appearance, status, abilities, or any other factor.

There are occasionally those times in each of our lives when we are faced with the pain of a broken relationship, whether it be a trusted friend, spouse, or significant other.

The pain is very real and the grieving process is natural and necessary. Yet, there are a couple of easy, helpful ways to daily restore hope and joy to your wounded heart while going through that grieving process. You can choose to restore hope and joy to your heart on a daily basis instead of groveling in (staying focused on) the pain and betrayal.

We recently went through betrayal by a trusted friend. The person was a long time friend of our extended family whose poor, hurtful choices had caused a break in the friendship a few years back. This past year, the person called and apologized, asking to renew the friendship. After discussing at length the pain caused by prior actions (in the hopes of developing an understanding in the person of how such actions harm people), we began the friendship anew. It lasted about a year, only for the person to go back to a life of repaying our good with evil. At times, I’m not sure who I’m more angry with, myself for giving the relationship a second try or the other person for bringing hurtful, harmful behavior into our lives again after all the love that was shown to the person.

We cannot choose the other person’s actions in life, but we can choose healing for our hearts.

Sooner or later that person will realize and experience loss from going through life interacting with hurtful, harmful behavior to the people who love him/her. For some people, however, the realization in the form of great regret does not take place until the end of their lives. For the rest of us, we must move on with health and healing in our hearts.

Here are two easy, practical steps to restore hope and joy to your heart.

First, re-focus on the healthy relationships you presently have and those with whom you have lost touch.

Give some thought to the people who are, or have been, good to you, who have responded in ways that created healthy relationships. There are probably even people with whom you haven’t kept in as close contact as you should have that have been loving influences in your life. Now is the time to give that person (or persons) a call or email. Renew the friendship. Also, begin again spending more time with family who are supportive of you. Do not delay to invest time into the relationships in your life that are loving and healthy.

Second, make repeated mental focus throughout the day on these healthy relationships instead of the broken one.

Discipline yourself to think fond thoughts throughout the day of those who are good to your life. Restore your hope and joy by realizing that, though this one person betrayed you, your life has had, presently has, and will continue to have other people in it who know how to interact with you in loving, healthy ways. This one person may have ripped your heart out and stomped on it–metaphorically speaking, but “those who are for you are more than those who are against you.”

The story out of which that phrase comes is worthy of mention. In the part of scripture called the Old Testament, there is a story about the prophet Elijah who had gotten on the bad side of an enemy king. When he awoke one morning, the city had been surrounded by a mighty, threatening army. Elijah’s servant cried out in fear and said, “Oh, my lord, what shall we do?” “Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” Elijah asked God to open the servant’s eyes to see into the supernatural realm. He suddenly saw the hills surrounding the city full of horses and chariots of fire—a supernatural army of protection (2 Kgs. 6:14-17). The application to our present lives is that we get so focused on the immediate, harmful circumstance that we become oblivious to all the good that is available to us, in this case, friends and family who do treat us in loving, healing ways.

Do not delay to restore hope and joy to your betrayed, wounded heart! Re-focus, taking time in your schedule for those who truly love you, as well as making mental notes throughout the day on the actions of the loving, supportive people in your life!

I have never been one for being interested in “TV preachers.” However, I have in the recent months developed a good deal of respect for Joel Osteen, pastor of the US’s largest church, with over 30,000 in attendance. Two things I appreciate. First, his preaching is atypical. Second, he is the only pastor I have ever heard that speaks every message, even ones on hardship, failure, correction, etc. in a positive manner. It is an obvious gifting. Surprisingly, or maybe not, he consistently draws a great deal of criticism for being positive. I heard part of an interview with him once where he spoke of all the criticism he had received for not being like his dad (now deceased), a former pastor and healing evangelist. Joel believes his personal calling in life is to give a message of hope and encouragement to the world; I respect that he chose to go against the grain, to be himself, and follow his bliss.

In a message called, “Don’t Allow Criticism to Steal Your Dream,” the following quote released healing for me.

“Your destiny is not tied to what other people say about you. It does not change what God has put in your heart. Let God take care of those who hurt you. Stay focused on the future. Don’t let hurt become the central focus of your life.”

Though his examples, if I recall, were of people who allowed certain hurts to totally destroy them with bitterness or defeat, I realized how much a recent hurt had become the central focus of my life. It was repeatedly coming to my mind throughout the day. The moment the thought came, I could feel it deplete energy from my body. It was diminishing my ability to focus on my work, not to mention stealing the level of joy at which I usually function. I had to take control of this hurt. Though it was not a typical life-altering crisis–there were some of those last year–it had still become the center focus of my life without my realizing it. I had to re-focus on my destiny. I have always been a dreamer, a visionary. I had to re-focus on the joy that is mine because I am a person of destiny! I know there are divine plans for my life that will not be altered just because others don’t believe in them.

You are alive! You are a person of destiny! If there is a hurt that is staying the central focus of every day, draining the energy and focus from your life, re-focus today on the dreams and visions that you know are yours! Focus on the truth you know in your heart!

(The message referred to above is video #337 at www.joelosteen.com . You can push the scroll bar about half way through to get past the music to the 30 minute sermon.)

I began the other week to change my thought processes with regards to the various challenges that come my way during the day. I had heard a message by Joel Osteen on not allowing criticism to steal your dreams. In it, he mentioned a verse from Is. 61:7 which says, “Instead of your former shame, you will receive a double portion.” In other words, God says His desire is that life for you will be twice as good after the hardship than before. Joel encouraged people to rejoice when facing challenges, implementing via faith a forward, blessed progress for your life. I took this idea and ran with it.

Over the course of the next week, when another person took advantage of a weakness in my personality, I caught myself from feeling the pain and rejoiced that this weakness was brought to my attention; now that I am aware of the weakness, I can overcome it, avoid similar situations in the future, and be a healthier person overall.

Another example is the delay in the construction of this site. Rather than staying frustrated by the lost time caused by the initial software not working as we’d hoped, we chose to rejoice realizing that the delay actually caused us to find the present software, which has proved to have far more beneficial website functions.

I have applied this process to various challenges by immediately focusing on how I can be better off since this “problem” was brought to my attention. Choosing this new perspective has freed my mind, body, and spirit from needless stress. The less stress in the body, mind, and spirit, the more the body is free to heal itself of various ailments. I made the following statement about this new process of mine and it was a great encouragement to my spouse so I thought I’d end with it. “The greater victory is not freedom from problems. The greater victory is when I overcome the problems!”

While searching one day through various websites, trying to find help for another person, God gave me a word of encouragement from the description of someone else’s article.

It said, “God Can Do Things Instantly–a lesson that God doesn’t need time to do what He wants to do.”

I had been discouraged about a particular situation in which I had not yet seen the desired resolution. God reminded me that when the time came, it would be resolved in a “single second,” so I shouldn’t worry about the time that appeared to be wasted right now.

When that moment of resolution comes, “I will rejoice, and no one will take away my joy (Jn 16:22 )!”