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Believe You Deserve to be Well- Part 2

R.H. — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 10:00:17 +0000

Table of contents for Believe You Deserve to Be Well

Believe You Deserve to be Well- Part 1
Believe You Deserve to be Well- Part 2

What can practically be done about the past failures and guilt?

There are some simple steps you can daily implement to help you move past guilt. (If you missed Part 1 of this 2-part post, please use the above series link. Part 1 explains what God Himself says about His compassionate, forgiving, uncomdemning nature to help you remove emotional hindrances in receiving the good He desires to bring into your life. This is heavier reading than most posts on this site but should help those of you struggling with guilt, condemnation, and other negative thought patterns that hinder healing. )

First, a reminder– as mentioned in Part 1, to receive healing it is only logical that all habits of a destructive lifestyle need to be left in the past. Scripture refers to this as repentance, a 180 degree turn around. Otherwise, it is like the continually unsuccessful dieter who starves herself or himself for a couple of days, only to binge for several days thereafter. Next, as also mentioned in Part 1 of this post, just as God’s mercies toward us are new every morning we need to have mercy on ourselves and release the guilt of past failures. If God deems us worthy of such mercy, we can honestly show such mercy to ourselves.

But what about those who are plagued by guilt, not as much self-imposed, but from inaccurate childhood teachings about God that have left them with images of an angry, harmful, unforgiving God? If you suffer from harmful, inaccurate childhood teachings about God, it will take some discipline of focusing on truth to eradicate that input.

On the practical side, many people print out a list of verses such as covered in this article and spend sometimes even months of daily repeating out loud the truth God says about Himself, i.e., God’s continually renewing compassion, graciousness, desire for our wholeness and superabundant life in quality. Another beneficial verse along this line is Psalm 103:10, “He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.” If people have put into your mind as a child the image of God standing over you eagerly desiring to punish you for the slightest mistake, it is a fallacy to be eradicated. ( For those who would like to read an extended passage of Scripture that discusses numerous groups of people who suffered from their own failures yet God, in His compassion, restored their lives, Psalm 107 is posted below this article.)

On a similar vein, Psalm 103 speaks of numerous good that God eagerly bestows on us, but verse 5 specifically says that He is the God “who satisfies your desires with good things.” A person ridden with guilt, self-imposed or from inaccurate religious teaching, needs to admit to himself that such feelings result in anything but feeling of an overwhelmingly satisfied life. God, on the other hand, satisfies our lives with good things. There does need to be a level of cooperation here, and some self-evaluation is necessary to determine if we are cooperating in receiving the good.

You can begin anew in your view of yourself and of God.

Cooperate with God in letting go of the guilt from false images of Him—replacing them with truth—and in the forgiving of yourself. Taking the verses discussed in this article, these truths about God, and focusing on them will go a long way in aiding your healing. As you come to terms with how much good God desires for you, how much healing He desires for you, (Scripture calls this renewing your mind), it will bring relief from the self-abasement. The realization that God values you so highly that He continually exists in a state of desiring your healing and well-being can increase one’s self worth and cause you to grasp hold of wanting the same healing, wholeness, and well-being for you that God wants for you.

Psalm 107

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.
Let the redeemed of the LORD say this– those he redeemed from the hand of the foe,
those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south.
Some wandered in desert wastelands, finding no way to a city where they could settle.
They were hungry and thirsty, and their lives ebbed away. Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle. Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.

Some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom, prisoners suffering in iron chains,
for they had rebelled against the words of God and despised the counsel of the Most High. So he subjected them to bitter labor; they stumbled, and there was no one to help.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress.
He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains.
Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron.

Some became fools through their rebellious ways and suffered affliction because of their iniquities. They loathed all food and drew near the gates of death. Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave. Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men. Let them sacrifice thank offerings and tell of his works with songs of joy.

Others went out on the sea in ships; they were merchants on the mighty waters.
They saw the works of the LORD, his wonderful deeds in the deep. For he spoke and stirred up a tempest that lifted high the waves. They mounted up to the heavens and went down to the depths; in their peril their courage melted away. They reeled and staggered like drunken men; they were at their wits’ end. Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven. Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men. Let them exalt him in the assembly of the people and praise him in the council of the elders.

He turned rivers into a desert, flowing springs into thirsty ground, and fruitful land into a salt waste, because of the wickedness of those who lived there. He turned the desert into pools of water and the parched ground into flowing springs; there he brought the hungry to live, and they founded a city where they could settle. They sowed fields and planted vineyards that yielded a fruitful harvest; he blessed them, and their numbers greatly increased, and he did not let their herds diminish. Then their numbers decreased, and they were humbled by oppression, calamity and sorrow; he who pours contempt on nobles made them wander in a trackless waste. But he lifted the needy out of their affliction and increased their families like flocks. The upright see and rejoice, but all the wicked shut their mouths.

Whoever is wise, let him heed these things and consider the great love of the LORD.

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Believe You Deserve to be Well- Part 1

R.H. — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 10:00:29 +0000

Table of contents for Believe You Deserve to Be Well

Believe You Deserve to be Well- Part 1
Believe You Deserve to be Well- Part 2

Whether or Not You Believe You Deserve to be Well Greatly Affects All Aspects of Your Health!

Though it sounds like an absurd question, but medical science has proven that your mental perspective, what you think about yourself and God, has a great effect on physical, emotional, and spiritual health. (This is Part 1 of a 2-part post. It is heavier reading than most posts on this site but should help those of you struggling with guilt, condemnation, and other negative thought patterns that hinder healing. )

For the purpose of example, there is a particular area in the medical field in which the procedure actually brings back to one’s mind past emotional hurts that are causing current physical health problems. Brief, physical treatments are then done which actually remove the pent up emotion from that bad emotional experience which has been stored in the body. During the physical treatment, you are asked to state out loud phrases along the lines of, “I deserve to be healthy. I deserve to be free from allergies” etc. People are then cured of various recurring physical ailments once that stored negative emotion from a past experience was removed from the body.

Believing that you deserve to be well is just as necessary a perspective in the area of faith and the spiritual realm.

In Matthew 9:29, while bringing healing to people, Jesus said, “According to your faith will it be done to you.” The Amplified Version (expanded from the Greek) says, “According to your faith and trust and reliance on the power invested in Me be it done to you.” Most anyone you talk to, regardless of their religious beliefs or the lack of them, believes that Jesus healed people. Yet even Jesus said that people’s healing was dependent on whether or not people believed that they would be healed or, one may say, whether or not they believed that God desired to heal them. (1. Click on the text link for “faith” to open a window with the Greek definition. 2.Click on “to be done” for the Greek definition. 3. Click the text link here to read why I use Greek definitions.)

Whether you are a believer in God, or if you are just interested in knowing what Scripture says about God’s desire to heal our lives, it will be beneficial to focus on a few brief examples which show God’s heart and character with regard to healing. This insight will help one develop a perspective that believes he or she deserves to be well.

Regardless of our past failures, we can believe that we “deserve to be healed” or that God desires for us to be healed. Scripture says, “Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. (Lam. 3:22,23)” The phrase “great love” is, at times, translated into English as “mercy.” Hence, you may hear people say that God’s mercy towards us is new every morning. When this verse is studied in the original Hebrew, it does speak that, first, God’s loving-kindness and compassions toward us start over new and fresh every morning, as if we had a clean slate.

Second, these feelings toward us from God are far superior to what we experience in the fluctuating human emotions of the people around us. Not only are God’s feelings of loving-kindness and multiple compassions toward us secure and steady, i.e. faithful, but they are exceedingly, abundantly, plenteously secure and steady. Where on earth can one find such a relationship as that? Meditating on that reality alone of God’s true feelings toward us can bring a flood of healing to one’s spirit.

Third, once we realize that God’s mercies toward us are new every morning, it is time to have mercy on ourselves, to forgive ourselves of our failures and stop allowing the guilt of the past to keep us from physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual healing! (In a future article, we will discuss in more detail how to deal with recurring guilt.) (4. Click links for full definitions in Hebrew of the main words in the above verses: great love, compassions, great, faithfulness. 5. Click here to read why I use Hebrew definitions.)

When we feel undeserving of being healed, or feel that there is some reason that God does not desire us to be well, we need to change our focus from guilt and self-abasement to the truth of what God says about His perspective in this matter.

At one point in my life, when I was going through deep grief from the loss of a dear friend to cancer, God spoke a specific word of encouragement to my spirit. Knowing that the untimely death of my friend was humanly inexplainable, God said to me, “When you face things in life which you are not capable of understanding, which seem to make absolutely no sense in the human realm, focus on what you know to be true.” Throughout Scripture, God says of Himself, “I am compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” It was holding on to the truths regarding the nature and character of God that brought healing in that time of grief. This principle has come back to mind many times through the years and has brought healing in a variety of situations.

There are countless names that God uses to describe Himself throughout Scripture; they address His nature or character. In Exodus 15:16, God says, “…for I am the LORD, who heals you.” The name God uses in the Hebrew is Y@hovah Rapha’, meaning the eternal, self-existent one who heals and makes thoroughly whole. (6. Click here for Hebrew definition of “Lord who heals you.”) It would be negligent not to mention that this statement is prefaced by a condition of obedience to righteous standards. However, I think most people would agree that it goes without saying that if one lives a life that is destructive in nature to yourself or others, it would be absurd to expect healing when you are repeatedly causing the damage yourself. God chose this name to express to us that it is His nature to heal, to make our lives thoroughly whole. This means God desires healing for us in every aspect of our lives—physically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually.

This desire of God to exist in a healing relationship with us, that it is His very nature to do so, is again expressed through Jesus’ life and words.

In John 10:10, Jesus says, “The thief [referring to satan or forces of evil] does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” (7. Click here for the Greek definition of “abundance.”) The translation into the English word, “abundantly,” does not do justice to what Jesus was saying here. The Greek word refers to exceedingly, superabundantly, above and beyond measure in quantity and quality, even vehemently so. God’s expression of Himself through Jesus and the work that He completed while here in human form, was to bring to each person the type of well-being physically, emotionally, etc. that usually we only dream of. Yet Jesus said His purpose in coming was to bring exactly that to us. Yes, God desires all aspects of your life to be healed!

(In Part 2 of this post, we will more specifically discuss dealing with feelings of guilt and past failures.)

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The Compassion of God

R.H. — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 21:47:34 +0000

Reading Level: Gratifying

Many people struggle with viewing God as compassionate towards them personally.

Much like those who struggle with accepting God’s love, the fear of people that God is not compassionate toward them can stem from an abusive authority figure during childhood or misinformation in religious upbringing. This post is going to have a few brief comments and numerous quotes about God’s compassion, including what God says of Himself on this subject.

God’s Describes Himself as Compassionate

During one of Moses’ extended times seeking God, he asked to see God. God’s response was that a human could not survive seeing God in all His power, but He would allow His glory to pass in front of Moses. As Moses went through this experience, God said of Himself,

And He passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. Ex. 34:6

God Describes His Compassion as Unfailing

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! Is. 49:15
“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you. Is. 54:10

Other OT Scriptures frequently repeat this view of God’s Compassion:

But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. Ps. 86:15
The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. Ps. 103:8
The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. Ps. 145:8
The LORD is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. Ps. 116:5

God is the Source of Compassion

Just as we speak of someone being the “father” of some invention or of a philosophy, meaning the invention or idea came from that person, Scripture speaks of God as the Source of compassion and comfort.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort. 2 Cor. 1:3

God’s Response to a Ruined Life is Compassionate

Jesus told a story to illustrate God‘s response to a person who ruined his/her life. It is usually referred to as the “Prodigal Son” story. The father character in the story represents God. The child (son) represents a person who has ruined his life. The son hoped to be cared for in the household as a servant but the father restored him to a place of honor as his son.

So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. Lu. 15:20

In various times during the history of the Jewish nation, they had turned from seeking God, only to see their economy, freedom, and families destroyed by their enemies. God’s response is again one of compassion, saying that He will not reject someone who seeks Him, and that all aspects of their lives would be restored to a state of wholeness and wellness.

For the LORD your God is gracious and compassionate. He will not turn his face from you if you return to him. 2 Chron. 30:9
The LORD will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; He will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the LORD. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing. Is. 51:3

God’s Compassion in without Bias or Favoritism

The LORD is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made. Ps. 145:9

Compassion is a Part of God’s Fatherhood

As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who revere Him. Ps. 103:13

God Specifically Expresses Compassion for the Depressed and the Poor

In this next quote, the Hebrew word for “afflicted” is `aniy. It refers to a person who is depressed in mind (emotionally) or in circumstances (poverty).

Shout for joy. For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones. Is. 49:13

Jesus Lived Out God’s Heart of Compassion on Earth.

Jesus expressed that part of the purpose of His life on earth was to reveal the heart of Father God by the way He lived here. When Philip, one of the 12 disciples asked Jesus to show them Father God, Jesus answered, “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father (Jn. 14:8).” The following quotes repeatedly show Jesus’ compassionate response to anyone in any type of need, revealing to us that Father God responds with the same compassion to each of us in any type of need.

When He saw the crowds, He had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Mt. 9:36

When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, He had compassion on them and healed their sick. Mt. 14:14

Jesus called His disciples to Him and said, “I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat. I do not want to send them away hungry, or they may collapse on the way.” Mt. 15:32

Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed Him. Mt. 20:34

Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” Mk. 1:41

When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, He had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So He began teaching them many things. Mk. 6:34

As we have mentioned in other articles on replacing harmful thoughts, to remove a fear that God is not compassionate toward you, you must daily replace the harmful thoughts with truth until a new mental pattern is formed. Allow these truths on compassion to fill your mind, bringing the healing that allows you to accept God’s gracious and unfailing compassion for you!

In God’s Mercy or At His Mercy?

R.H. — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 22:49:24 +0000

Reading Level: Very Impassioned

While in a time of prayer and meditation this morning, some thoughts came to mind about God’s mercy. Are we in His mercy or at His mercy?

Many of us have been raised to feel that we are “at” God’s mercy, that God is an uncompassionate authority figure who rules over our lives at a distance, yet He is unmoved by the severity of our situations and we are forced to feel grateful if He acts in our behalf. Such feelings may be due to inadequate religious teaching from childhood or a parent or other authority figure that misused their authority. Feelings of being “at” God’s mercy may even stem from being raised in poverty, which often causes one to feel that you are always at the mercy of others’ whims and unable to help yourself.

As I began to study the topic of God’s mercy this evening, I discovered that God’s mercy is clearly governed by His overwhelming love and concern for us.

The first passages I came across were of people in crises who were writing about God’s response to their cries for help. Take a look at these people’s view of God’s merciful responses:

In my alarm I said, “I am cut off from Your sight!” Yet You heard my cry for mercy when I called to You for help. Ps. 31:22

I love the LORD, for He heard my voice; He heard my cry for mercy. Ps 116:1

In all their distress, He too was distressed, and the angel of His presence saved them. In His love and mercy He redeemed them; He lifted them up and carried them all the days of old. Is. 63:9

Notice some of their key points about God’s mercy during their crises.

His mercy is great or vast.
In a moment of terror, when the person thought he was abandoned, God heard his cry and helped him.
His love and mercy caused God to actually empathize and feel the distress of the person in the situation. He then responded in a nurturing way.

In these next quotes, the writers’ express God’s mercy toward someone repentant of evil.

But in Your great mercy You did not put an end to them or abandon them, for You are a gracious and merciful God. Neh. 9:31

Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the LORD, and He will have mercy on him, and to our God, for He will freely pardon. Is. 55:7

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgressions? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. Mic. 7:18

The first writer expresses that, in his experience, he has seen that God’s mercy caused Him not to punish or abandon people though undeserving of His mercy.
The second writer says one can have confidence that God will indeed have mercy upon the repentant, because He “freely” pardons. In other words, God is generous with His mercy, not stingy.
The last writer says that no one compares with God due to His level of delighting in showing mercy. All these passages reinforce the concept that we are not “at” God’s mercy, or as the phrase implies, at the mercy of an uncompassionate ruling authority.

Another incredible illustration of the mercy of God comes from a prophecy about the birth of John the Baptist.

Luke 1:76-78 says that John would be a prophet to prepare the way before Jesus to “give God’s people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God. The very act of God coming in human flesh to complete our salvation was due to the “tender mercy” of God, not the haphazard good deed of an unkind, unjust judge of mankind.

In Scripture, we are told to seek wisdom. James describes the wisdom of heaven or of God with mercy being a part of His wisdom.

“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere (Jms. 3:17).” First of all, when we are “at” the mercy of someone, they are not the type of person which one would describe as wise, much less embodying all of the loving, gracious attributes described here. Even notice that God’s mercy is described as being full of good results.

The picture should be getting clear now, that we live “in” the mercy of God, not “at” His mercy. A closer look at the root words used for “mercy” complete our portrait of the mercy of God.

In the James passage, the word for mercy in the Greek is eleos, the literal meaning of which is active compassion. Active compassion would never describe someone who manipulates people “at their mercy.” The other Greek word I came across for mercy had the same root meaning, that of active compassion.

The Hebrew words for mercy are even more beautifully descriptive of the mercy of God that we live in. Psalm 103:17 states, “But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that revere him.” The Hebrew word for mercy in this quote is Checed, the full meaning of which includes: kindness, beauty, favor, good deeds, and loving-kindness. A different Hebrew word for mercy, Racham, is used in the passage from Nehemiah earlier in this article. It’s root meaning is just as lovely and complete: compassion, tender love, great and tender mercy, an extension of the womb-as in the cherishing of the fetus.

These few passages from just a handful of writers make it beautifully clear that not only do we live “in” the mercy of God, but God’s mercy is so phenomenally wonderful and beautiful that it is something no one should ever desire to live without.

Let’s deal with your life at the present moment. You may just have a variety of issues you need to deal with, or you may be in a major crisis. Or, maybe you’re suffering from some serious mistakes and feeling repentant. God’s mercy, His mercy that is everlasting, actively compassionate, kind, tender, and loving is available for you today, no matter what your need. I’m going to end this post with one of my favorite passages regarding God’s mercy.

For we do not have a High Priest [referring to Jesus] who is unable to sympathize and have a fellow feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation…Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace–the throne of God’s unmerited favor to us sinners; that we may receive mercy for our failures and find grace to help in good time for every need-appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it. Heb. 4:15,16 (Amplified)

Definitions are from Strong’s Dictionary of OT Words and Strong’s Dictionary of NT Words.

Healing Through Overcoming Family Past

R.H. — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 04:54:54 +0000

Reading Level: Impassioned

In my life experience of working with people who are seeking after God, there has been a noticeable characteristic of people’s responses to God being affected by past parental relationships.

I have seen children from abusive family situations that felt great apprehension at the thought of even talking to God, fearful of His rejection or of some sort of mistreatment by Him. I have known women who were making an effort to seek after God, but because of past abusive relationships with fathers and ex-husbands, could not emotionally handle the intended positive analogy in Scripture of paternal characteristics in God. Though Scripture makes clear that spiritual beings are neither male or female, since God often uses the analogy of a Father to illustrate to us certain positive characteristics that can be seen in earthly fathers, people can, without being aware of it, project bad attributes particularly from fathers (but also mothers and any other person seen as an authority figure) onto God. Throughout my career, I have made it a point to remind people that God’s fatherly characteristics are those of, not just a good father but, a perfect one, since God is perfect and that concept has been helpful to them.

There is a term in psychology when dealing with boundary violations that is called a withdrawal of love. An example of this emotional violation is when a parent who is displeased with the child, whether for poor behavior or even just behavior against the parent’s personal preferences, responds with anger.

Even if the child’s behavior was ethically unacceptable and needed some form of discipline, the discipline included more than just corrective action; it was carried out with types angry behaviors which portrayed that the parent no longer loved the child due to his behavior. Parents like this, often unintentionally, also display behavior that conveys to the child that his actions were a personal insult to the parent. This results in a performance-based relationship. “If you do what I like, I’ll love you. If you actions/choices displease me, I’ll withdraw my love from you.”

I have been eternally grateful that I did not have the extreme negative experiences with parents as did many of my peers. It appears from the stories of my peers, my parents were, though no one but God is perfect, above average in their positive treatment of myself and my brother. A friend who returned with me to my home several times to visit my parents joked about how unbelievable it was that my family actually liked each other; he insisted that I was raised in “the Cleaver” household, a reference to the 1960’s program, “Leave it to Beaver.” However, it has been amazing to me the more I study psychology, how much, even in a situation with fairly positive family history, past parental interactions affect my present relationships, even my relationship with God.

Thankfully, in spite of negative parental relationships like what is described above or those that have been physically and/or emotionally abusive, God makes it clear that His relationship with us is love-based, not performance-based.

Romans 8:35,37-39 describes it this way, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” This passage illustrates that no negative circumstances can separate us from God’s love. Since it is so adamant that no circumstance in all creation can separate us from His love, I believe it stands to reason that this level of security is still the case whether the circumstances are caused by those who do not love us properly or even by our own failures. For those who still fear that their own imperfection will bring about a loss or withholding of God’s love, especially when it has proved to be the case with parental love, these next two verses bring great comfort and relief. Psalm 27:10 says, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” And in Isaiah 49:15,16, “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.”

Being a perfectionist by nature, it is difficult for me to overcome anything that I view as a personal failure.

Yes, Scripture does exhort us to “Aim for perfection (2 Cor. 13:11),” for moral and spiritual excellence. However, after talking to my brother some years ago about a situation in which I was emotionally “beating myself up,” he said to me, “Who are you trying so hard to be perfect for?” He rather shocked me, and, realizing the grace of God didn’t give license to my feelings, I stumbled out, “Myself, I guess.”

In addition, I became aware of the “withdrawal of love” boundary violation from my own childhood during some study this past year.

During a recent series of crises, I sincerely felt that some of the issues were either caused or enhanced by my own mistakes. While seeking God’s wisdom and assistance to work through these situations, it was apparent that there was an emotional struggle which was affecting my faith in His responsiveness. A passing remark in a sermon about performance-based relationships caused me to realize that I was indeed, rather subconsciously, applying the “withdrawal of love” boundary violation experienced in childhood to God’s response to me in my time of need. I was feeling that any mistakes of my own in this situation would cause God either to respond unenthusiastically to my need or not at all. It is almost beyond belief how these emotional situations from the past hold on, to the point that one can rationally know something is not the case, (i.e. know that I am under the grace of God and that He responds to me with mercy) yet the past emotional baggage still keep him or her from a state of actively believing/having faith in God for help. While contemplating this issue, God reminded me of a passage that I had come across in the Amplified translation of Hebrews 4:15,16.

“For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize and have a fellow feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning. Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace–the throne of God’s unmerited favor to us sinners; that we may receive mercy for our failures and find grace to help in good time for every need—appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it.”

Now let me abbreviate the above verse, and slightly paraphrase for the purpose of sentence structure, so the main points beneficial to us are easier to focus on.

“We have a High Priest [referring to Jesus’ in His work of salvation] who sympathizes with our weakness and the assaults of temptation. Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of God’s unmerited favor to us [unearned, not performance-based] that we may receive mercy for our failures and find help for every need—appropriate help, coming just when we need it.”

As mentioned in some prior articles, it takes repeated, conscious effort to replace the recurring thoughts that are less than truth (from deep-seated, past emotional experiences) with rational, actual truth.

This passage was a starting point for me. I have been repeating it, pondering it, and quoting it out loud to eventually override my incorrect emotionally driven thoughts—thoughts that God won’t help me out of problems due to my own failures–with the truth with which He describes Himself in Scripture.

Using Hebrews 4 and the other 2 aforementioned verses, these are the truths I am working to establish in my mind and spirit.

1. No circumstance separates me from God’s love.

2. He has promised to never forsake or abandon me.

3. He does feel sympathetic toward my struggles.

4. Because the relationship is love-based, not performance based, I can let go of the false fears.

5. I can confidently seek and expect His favor and perfectly timed supernatural help even during times of failure.

Breaking free from projecting the relational difficulties between our parents and ourselves onto God is a major step for anyone in experiencing either physical or emotional healing.

Many physical ailments are caused by emotional hurts. Even if the physical ailment has solely physical origins, overcoming the habit of projecting onto God the image of a performance-based relationship between yourself and Him frees you to accept His unfailing love for you and be receptive to His help. You can believe yourself “worthy” of receiving because God’s loving responses to you will always be based on His unfailing love, not your perfection.

Believe You Deserve to be Well

R.H. — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 01:52:25 +0000

Reading Level: Very Impassioned

One of the first issues worthy of discussion on this site is, “Do you really believe that you deserve to be well?”

This sounds like a ludicrous question, but medical science has proven that it is not. Our mental perspective, what we think about ourselves and God, has a great effect on our physical, emotional, and spiritual health.

Believing that you deserve to be well is just as necessary a perspective in the area of faith and the spiritual realm.

This desire of God to exist in a healing relationship with us, that it is His very nature to do so, is again expressed through Jesus’ life and words.

But what can practically be done about the past failures and guilt?

As mentioned earlier, to receive healing it is only logical that all habits of a destructive lifestyle need to be left in the past. Scripture refers to this as repentance, a 180 degree turn around. Otherwise, it is like the continually unsuccessful dieter who starves herself or himself for a couple of days, only to binge for several days thereafter. Next, as also mentioned, just as God’s mercies toward us are new every morning we need to have mercy on ourselves and release the guilt of past failures. If God deems us worthy of such mercy, we can honestly show such mercy to ourselves.

You can begin anew in your view of yourself and of God.

Psalm 107

Whoever is wise, let him heed these things and consider the great love of the LORD.