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Busyness of life demands a well-thought out plan to achieve your life goals.

During the past year, I found myself pulled in numerous directions by unavoidable responsibilities, such as adding new parts to one of our businesses, another family member in the household, attending to needs of aging relatives. The use of my time was not always a matter of choice. When this year began, I realized that I needed to refocus with a new, clear cut “life plan” if I was going to achieve my own goals instead of just maintaining in the face of these new responsibilities. Calling to memory last year’s posts on Dawna Markova’s book, I knew I needed to make sure I was “living on purpose” and daily creating the environment needed to live out those purposes. (If you missed those 2 posts, use the links here. Living with Purpose and Living Your Purpose and Creating Your Purposeful Life Environment) In the same way, it is essential for each of you Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Want to reduce stresses with relatives in your holiday family gatherings?  Here’s a collection of tips from 3 different authors to tell you how.

(This is one of the classic holiday “help” articles– a good reminder for each of us each Christmas/New Year’s season.)

These tips by Connie Ragen Green are excerpts from her holiday stress article, Dealing With The Three Types of Difficult People. Use the link in the footnotes to read her full article.

• The person who won’t stop talking -The best thing you can do for this person is to just listen. See if there are others who will share this listening with you. Try asking them about something that you are also interested in.
• The person who has to be right -The best way to handle this person is to praise them. They will beam like a young child when you compliment them.
• The person who has to be the center of attention – Ask their opinion on something. They will enjoy the chance to tell you what they think and may even have some great ideas.

These tips to minimize your stress while spending holidays with the relatives are excerpts from E.K. Tirado’s article, Three Ways to Cope with Difficult Relatives During the Holidays. Use the link in the footnotes to read the full article.

1) Change what you can, and do not fret about what you can’t change. Too many times the cause of our stress derives from our need to change people Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Do holiday family gatherings bring joy or difficult memories and painful feelings?

I came across a helpful article by fellow SelfGrowth.com author Laurie McAnaugh; here are some excerpts from it to help you overcome the negativity and enjoy your holiday experience. Use the links in the footnotes to read her full article.  (This is one of the classic holiday “help” articles– a good reminder for each of us each Christmas/New Year’s season.)

Ms. McAnaugh discusses that if holidays are emotionally draining to you rather than a time to enjoy remembrances of all you have to be thankful for, you may need to ask yourself the following questions:

-Why do I behave that way when I’m around certain members of my family?

-I don’t always like who I am when I am around that person.

-What is it about that person that they constantly say things that hurt my feelings?

-What is it about me that I allow that person to get under my skin?

If the holidays cause you to have the above thoughts, Ms. McAnaugh encourages you to ponder these questions:

-How would it feel to spend the holidays with each of your family members and still feel good about yourself, Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Feeling like Ebenezer Scrooge? It’s time to take in a few tips and reclaim your Christmas Spirit!

I came across some good, brief tips to de-stress your holiday from an article by blog author Sara Ananya Shah. These are only summaries. Please use the link below to read her full article.  (This is one of the classic holiday “help” articles– a good reminder for each of us each Christmas/New Year’s season.)

1. Shop at home - Shop online as much as possible. The selection is better and many retailers offer free shipping for the holidays.

2. Shop with friends - If you must go out shopping, take a friend along and then relax together afterward with a cup of coffee or cocoa.

3. Have friends and relatives – If you have a dinner with relatives that you dread, invite a friend along, or a specific friendlier relative.

4. Break down chores – For example, don’t do Christmas dinner all at once. [Freeze ahead or] Do as much as possible the day before. If you write out Christmas cards, do a few each night at bedtime.

5. Make due dates – Plan to get your goals done by December 22nd so you can have some time to relax.

6. Exercise – A 20 minute walk will immediately lift your mood and reduce stress hormones.

7. Don’t overeat – You’ll feel happier and healthier.

8. Get “ME” time – Take at least 15 minutes a day to listen to relaxing music, walk, or something else that will make you happy.

Click here to read the full article by Sara Ananya Shah, Holiday Stress Relief: Tips to Reclaim Your Christmas Spirit. Ms. Shah is author of the parenting blog, Loving Your Child.

Do your efforts to maintain your self esteem cultivate an environment of self worth or defeat for those around you?

Some of the most difficult people with whom to maintain healthy long-term relationships are those who feel that every conflict of opinion is an opportunity to prove that they are “right,” rather than come to a mutual understanding of other people’s points of views. Every disagreement instantly puts them into a “challenge to win” mode, which, unfortunately for the people in the relationships around them, means someone else must first lose. Another person is never allowed to have a different way of doing something because this person’s way is always better, as far as he or she is concerned. We cannot always avoid this type of person, as they may be a required part of the environment at work, home, or other frequented social settings. Today, however, let’s look at this in a more personal way.

Ask yourself, “Am I the type of person whose determination to always win produces an environment of defeat for other people?”

Joel Osteen is well-known worldwide for his gifting of encouragement.  This is a quote from a story I came across on his blog about a counseling session with a person who was creating an environment of defeat. This comment was very insightful:

She didn’t recognize that her desire to be right all the time was driving home the point that everyone around her was wrong. She was creating a losing environment for Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

There is no need to stay stuck in the misery of a bad day.

I cam across a very practical, helpful article by psychologist and life coach Melissa McCreery with tips to move on from the guilt, anger, hurt, or frustrations of a bad day and get back to the peace and productivity of a positive mindset.

Ms. McCreery says that the secret to thriving is learning how to move forward in spite of bad days.

Here are some excerpts of from Melissa’s article, “How to Recover from a Bad Day:”

1. Give yourself permission to have a bad day. Stop beating yourself up so that you can move on. Let go of blame and guilt, realizing that a bad day does not mean you failed.

2. Ask, “What will I need to let go of to do move on?” You must be willing to stop beating yourself up, feeling miserable (or hurt or angry), drowning your sorrows, or feeling victimized.

3. Decide what do you want to move on TO?   How do you want things to be? How do you want to feel? What do you want your Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Everyone wants to love and be loved; making some small changes can greatly improve your relationships and the quality of your love.

Richard Carlson, PhD, has perfected the art of quick, practical tips to improve your life with his “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” series of books. His books have been bestsellers for years. He and his wife co-wrote “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love.” I would recommend this book to anyone, even if you are single, as it will do wonders for your interpersonal relationships. See the ISBN in the footnotes to read his full book.

Here are a few easy-to-understand, easy to implement phrased points from Dr. Carlson’s book for improving the quality of your love:

1. Don’t Do the Same Things and Expect Different Results: That’s an old saying we are all familiar with but it is the same in love relationships. If you know you react negatively in certain situations — overreacting, lashing out, knee-jerk reactions — and then suffer disappointing and negative responses in return, you have to choose to use new responses that will bring healthy results.

2. Avoid Correcting Each Other: This point is not referring to an isolated incident but the habit of publicly correcting the person you love when it is absolutely unnecessary. It is Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

When is the last time you committed the random act of kindness which we all hold in such high esteem?

Gifting someone else’s life with an unexpected, and even undeserved, kindness is living at the peak of human character, achieving one of the most perfect elements of the human spirit. While most anyone believes that random acts of kindness are a part of the ultimate lifestyle and a thing a beauty in life, stress and busyness can prevent you from consistently thinking creatively enough to live out such acts in your own life.

People of great admiration throughout history have spurred us on to live a lifestyle of random acts of kindness.

I’m pasting a few quotes here from both secular and religious authors challenging us to commit random acts of kindness, with links to 2 sites of quotes which you will probably enjoy reading as well.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless. Mother Teresa

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profundity. Kindness in giving creates love. Lao-Tse

Remember there’s no such thing as a Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Laughter  -  It is something we all enjoying hearing, something we all enjoy doing.  It has natural healing powers.  It’s time to do more of it! 

For over a thousand years, long before the realm of modern science, age old proverbs reminded people of the healing power of laughter, 

A rejoicing heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Prov. 17:22

Dr. Don Colbert shares that laughter is one of his prescriptions to patients who come to be placed on nutritional programs. He has discovered that when he asks patients how often they laugh, most cancer patients respond, “I never laugh.” He prescribes 10 belly laughs a day for his patients. (1)

Research has shown a wide variety of healing aspects from laughter:

Pain Relief - A study of patients recovering from surgery showed that the group which was allowed to choose the humorous movies they saw benefited the most from the laughter therapy and required fewer pain-killers compared with a control group that saw none at all. (2) Other research has also shown laughter to increase one’s pain threshold. (4)

Lower Blood Pressure - Laughter reduces the levels of stress hormones such as cortisol, epinephrine (adrenaline), and dopamine (4); stress hormones, on the other hand, increase Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

What emotions do you experience when you think of your future?

Take a look at this self-evaluation quote:

Picture your life twenty years from now. Have you ever wondered what your purpose in life is and what your future holds?… Does your current lifestyle predict that you will be happy and fulfilled, or disappointed and frustrated? Think about it. What does your bank account look like? How much retirement money have you set aside? How much debt do you owe? What are you doing to improve your health and well-being? How is your family really doing? The answers to these questions may be an indication that a few changes need to be made.(1- see below “8 Steps to Create the Life You Want”)

Were the emotions you experienced from reading these questions positive or negative? Emotions result from the thoughts you’ve been thinking. As a result, those emotions dramatically impact your decisions.

If you are going to improve the quality of your decisions, you must first improve the quality of the words you speak/think about your life.

Controlling the words that you speak and think about your life is a foundational point for improving your life. Much like the Law of Attraction, if you are speaking and thinking negative words about your life, you will attract negative circumstances as well as negative responses from other people because that is what you are resonating from your own Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

It is an important principle of success to focus more on your goal than the obstacles that come against you, or even the steps to achieve it. 

(This is Part 2 of a two part post in which we’ll cover quotes from historical figures on goal focus as well as how  focus affects your spiritual goals.  Part 1 of this post covered reasons, results, and benefits of focusing on your goal. If you missed Part 1 of this post, please click here to read Part 1 now.)

Famous literary authors have encouraged people through generations to “focus on the goal.”

Though Ralph Waldo Emerson is well-known for his quote, “Life is a journey, not a destination,” encouraging people to enjoy each day of life as opposed to only allowing oneself to enjoy achievements, he also promoted keeping one’s destination in view.

To finish the moment, to find the journey’s end in every step of the road, to live the greatest number of good hours, is wisdom.  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Orison Swett Marden, known for his philosophies on one’s thoughts influencing  life and circumstances, pointed out the determining factor in the success of focusing on the goal:

We advance on our journey only when we face our goal, when we are Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

An important principle of success is staying more focused on the goal than the present obstacles or even the steps to reaching it.

I was reminded of this principle while working toward the completion of all the necessary seasonal responsibilities in my garden. I have quite extensive gardens with a large variety of plants, including over 30 antique rose bushes. Though I have always enjoyed gardening, this time of year’s seasonal requirements get very overwhelming as it takes about 3 months to complete due to other life responsibilities. The care and upkeep is probably too extensive for this time in life, but, when we designed and planted it 15 years ago, it was not possible to foresee the changes in career, family responsibilities, and physical energy that would take place in the future. It is a temptation to cause myself continual displeasure by solely viewing all the tasks yet undone rather than staying focused on the end result, or enjoying the present pleasures in my garden during the process of the oiling, fertilizing, pruning, and mulching to reach the goal; my garden will become a healthy, lush one that is a delight to the eyes and a joy to share with friends and family.

Here are some results of staying more focused on the end goal than the present obstacles or process:

1. You will maintain a level emotional state of joy and fulfillment, knowing the end of the process will come; you will live the fulfillment of that goal.

2. A clearer focus of your future goals/objectives allows you to be more effective in Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Regardless of the stresses you are facing, you have the power to choose your thoughts and, as a result, choose your well-being.

It may seem an illogical and impossible statement, but it is truth none-the-less.  Regardless of your circumstances, you choose your thoughts, and subsequently, your state of mind and personal well-being.  People throughout history have proven it true, usually in circumstances far worse than what most of us will ever experience.

One of my favorite examples is Dr. Viktor E. Frankl, whom I have mentioned before.  He is an Austrian Jew who was sent to a concentration camp with his family during World War II.

We who lived in concentration camps can remember men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

In each of us is the innate desire to live a life that we truly love.

I recently read a very valuable article which covered many essential aspects of rebuilding your life to be the healthy, effective life that you desire to live. Kim Child’s article featured quotes from 3 life coach experts, footnoted below, to explain how to make lasting changes for a life that you will love. She discovered most effective life makeovers involve starting with (a) small steps, (b) setting boundaries, and (c) reaching out for support. Here are excerpts from the main points in Ms. Child’s article:

First, look at what is already working well in your life.

Even when a person feels like everything in his life must be changed, usually there are some things that are working well which should be noted and appreciated. Life coach Victoria Moran suggests to list 10 things for which you are grateful about in your life each morning before getting out of bed.(1)

Second, take time for prayer, meditation, and/or journaling before the day’s agenda begins.

This is essential to craft a health lifestyle and stay centered [on what is healthful, best, and important] in the midst of change Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

(In Part 1, we discussed the motivation, validity, and purpose of power. In this post, we’ll cover pure power and power’s ultimate safeguard.)

The Proof of Pure Power

What then is the proof that someone is using power in a pure way, as opposed to a corrupt way? The proof is, first, in their lifestyle and, second, in the consistency of it. Is the person’s lifestyle replicating or reproducing the positive effects on humanity that the power of Jesus did? If so, is the person doing good with consistency as Jesus did?

Jesus made an outstanding statement regarding the opportunity for His power to work through us, but it is conditional.

I will do for you whatever you shall ask in My Name. If you really love Me, you will obey My commands. Jn. 14:14,15

God is willing to let His resurrection power work through us, doing whatever good we ask, as long as we truly love Him, which is shown by living in obedience to His commands. God’s commands are intended for the provision and protection of a happy, fulfilling, and effective life for each of mankind. Any desire, thought, or action that would violate an “abundant” life for yourself or another person would be in violation of God’s commands. Limitless power is not safe in the hands of someone who violates God’s principles; therefore, God makes the stipulation that His willingness to do whatever we ask is based on Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »