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Criticism - Turning it into a Tool

August 19th, 2008

Reading Level: Gratifying

Whether a criticism is intended to be harmful or helpful, you can still choose to be in control of how it affects you.

Criticism is similar to many other events in our lives in that we can choose both the extent to which it affects us, as well as the type of outcome it has upon us. Most of us remember the old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Yet, many people carry hurt their entire lives as a result of critical words spoken to them during childhood. While there is some truth to the old saying, the error in it is that words can “never” hurt; yes, they can hurt if we are unaware of the fact that we can choose not to allow them to harm us. This is especially the case during childhood when we are supposed to be in a loving, nurturing environment in which we shouldn’t need to protect ourselves and, hence, haven’t learned how to do so. Once we begin growing and stepping out of our protected environment, we must learn to evaluate critical statements as to whether they have any value and use the situation as an opportunity for personal growth.

A reader asked specifically about dealing with unfounded criticism, so we will also cover that in the process of this post.

First of all, consider the source of the criticism and what you perceive the person’s intent to be.

Did the criticism come from someone that is usually a harmful person by nature? If that is the case, it is most likely something that needs to be discarded. Also, if the person is harmful by nature, realize that the hostility of the words they spoke also needs to be discarded from your thought life. Their words only have power over you if you continue to think on them. Whatever you think on will alter your emotions and influence your decisions. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Healing Broken Hearts

August 14th, 2008

Reading Level: Leisurely

Time spent with God creates in you the healing qualities that exist in God Himself.

In my last post, I used a quote contrasting human love and Divine love, showing the differing effects on our relationships. The more time one spends seeking God, the more His character becomes evident in your relationships with others, just the same as spending time in the presence of evil people adversely affects your character. With life’s busyness, it is easy to miss otherwise clear opportunities to bring healing to people’s broken hearts via the aspects of God’s nature that He has poured into us through our time spent with Him. I wanted to share with you a personal experience for the purpose of encouraging you to be aware of those opportunities.

During a particular year, there was a great deal of additional stress due to my parents having been in a severe auto accident. A couple of weeks into that accident, while they were still hospitalized, God spoke this verse to me while in prayer one morning, “You will be called, ‘Repairer of Broken Walls.’ (Is.58:12)” I didn’t even remember where the quote was located at the time. It was only vaguely familiar, so I looked it up in a software search so I could meditate on the meaning. I didn’t even have much time to meditate as we were about to leave again for the hospital. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Human Love Contrasted with Divine Love

August 12th, 2008

Reading Level: Leisurely

Sometimes our lack of satisfaction with the love we are giving and receiving results from operating solely in the human level instead of the Divine.

I want to share with you a quote I had kept that aptly describes how operating solely in human love instead of Divine love affects the quality of our relationships. The quote is from the late Kenneth Hagin. It is in his book, Faith Food.

Natural love is selfish. Divine love is giving, unselfish. Natural love can turn to hatred when it doesn’t get its way. Divine love, when it is reviled [treated hatefully], reviles not again. God’s divine love is not interested in what it can get but in what it can give. After our new spiritual birth, it is natural for divine love to flow through us and dominate how we live our lives.

As husbands and wives, God’s divine love must dominate us, not natural love, for it is too shallow. Not only can we love our spouse with natural affection, but with divine love that seeks other’s welfare, and never seeks its own. Reciprocate in always putting each other first and outdoing one another in love.

Love is patient and kind; sometimes we endure a situation but we are not kind about it. It is the flesh that is haughty, rude, boastful, arrogant, conceited or unmannerly.

When temptation comes [to respond in a natural love that turns to hatred when you don't get what you want], speak this confession: I am born of the love of God. I will allow the love of God within me to dominate this situation. God loves those who are undeserving and unlovely. Because of the nature of God in me, I now love those who are undeserving and unlovely and do not respond out of my natural affinities [natural likes and dislikes]. Faith Food, February 13th post.

For a related article with a description of God’s type of love, read my post “Recognizing Real Love.”

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Resentment and Anger Management

August 1st, 2008

Reading Level: Gratifying

Resentment not dealt with is a roadblock to emotional and physical healing.

Resentment usually results from a lack of dealing with conflicts. This doesn’t necessarily mean you must resolve the conflict with the other person; sometimes, that isn’t possible, especially if the person is volatile or hostile. However, you must deal with your feelings toward the past conflict in your own mind. As will be mentioned later in this post, emotional and physical ailments result from not coming to terms with past events and dealing with your resentment.

The first step in ridding yourself of resentment is to own up to your own choices.

As the old saying goes, “It takes two to tangle.” By admitting to the mistakes you made in the situation, it enables you to stop the blame game-to stop your focus of solely blaming the other person for your problems. This does not condone the other person’s harmful behavior toward you. This does not mean that you pretend that such behavior is wrong. However, instead of being focused on solely blaming the other person, you take responsibility for your own poor choices. For example, maybe you chose to get into an abusive relationship by ignoring the warning signs. Or, maybe the conflict arose because you insisted on discussing a difficult topic when you knew the other person was too tired or ill. Or, if you are a compliant dealing with a controlling person, you need to admit that you “allowed” the other person to control you and did something that you later resented when, instead, you should have set boundaries by refusing to do what you knew was not in your best interest. If your resentment stems from being over-giving to loved ones or over-involved in a good cause, again you need to Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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