ReceiveHealing.com

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Attracting the favor you need and desire in your life this year is contingent upon believing you will receive it.

Though the “Law of Attraction” may be a contemporary term, the concept is an ageless one. We have discussed at times in the past the concept of the Law of Attraction, of believing that good will come to you and visualizing it. God Himself, in His covenant with Abraham, asked him to believe for the fulfillment of Abraham’s “impossible” dream for a son when Sarah was over 75 and to visualize the stars in the sky as being his numerous descendents. (See the post Visualizing Your Dreams)

A few months ago, I was doing a word study on the concept of favor, as I was in need of favor during an upcoming business transaction. I was truly amazed at how frequently favor is promised by God and how much it is a part of His covenant with mankind.

I want each of you to believe this year for the favor you both need and desire from your relationships/interactions with God and people.

As you read through the quotes below, visualize the favor spoken of as being yours. Put your name into the quotes. Begin the year believing that you already have the favor of God and will grow in your favor with people, regardless of the circumstance. Continue throughout this year to believe and visualize that you are a person of favor and receive the favor that is yours!

I will look on you with favor and make you fruitful and increase your numbers, and I will keep my covenant with you. Le 26:9

O Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant…Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man. Ne 1:11

You will arise and have compassion, for it is time to show favor to her; the appointed time has come. Ps 102:13

Now God had caused the official to show favor and sympathy to him. Da 1:9 Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Gratifying

Though most everyone is aware of the old expression, acting on it truly empowers your life.

Like the old expression of whether a glass is half full or half empty, how you daily perceive your life, as either half full or half empty, will determine whether you empower yourself to succeed and be happy or drain the very life force (energy-wise) from your day-to-day existence.

Grasping the urgency of this concept can be a key factor to restoration.

I have been recently talking with a friend who has not yet grasped the urgency of this concept in bringing restoration to his life.  He was in a very abusive family relationship. The controlling, self-motivated spouse lived a destructive lifestyle that deeply affected every member of that family. Eventually, even the children as they became adults began to adopt many of her user/abuser behavior traits. Eventually, my friend’s life came completely crashing down around him with the loss of his physical and emotional health, self worth, career, and financial stability. He has been out of the household for about 8 months, though career issues and financial problems caused by the relationship aren’t remedied by a geographic change. The effects from the amount of time – 20 years – in such a abusive relationship are not easily or quickly corrected. Yet, day after day, my friend beats himself down in his thoughts by focusing on what has not yet been restored, i.e. a healthy family setting, new career, and freedom from debt.

By focusing on the “half full” in his journey to restoration, my friend could be living in a state of joy that would bring energy, creativity, vision, motivation, and awareness of good opportunities to his daily life.

Those of us around him can rejoice in the tremendous healings that have visibly taken place: his physical health is doing well, his personality and sense of humor have returned, he has free time/personal time, he is now surrounded by people who deeply love and support him instead of drain him and abuse him. These aspects alone would bring great consolation to many people who are in situations needing improvement. It could to him, too, if he would only allow it.

The decision to focus on what is not yet resolved will drain the life force from anyone’s day, making difficult any type of effectiveness and clarity of perception. In addition, staying focused on the problem causes you to only see the problem, not the solutions.

Look at these examples of life benefits from focusing on the “half full.”

The decision to focus on the “half full” part of my friend’s life would: Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

Everyone wants to love and be loved; making some small changes can greatly improve your relationships and the quality of your love.

Richard Carlson, PhD, has perfected the art of quick, practical tips to improve your life with his “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” series of books. His books have been bestsellers for years. He and his wife co-wrote “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love.” I would recommend this book to anyone, even if you are single, as it will do wonders for your interpersonal relationships. See the ISBN in the footnotes to read his full book.

Here are a few easy-to-understand, easy to implement phrased points from Dr. Carlson’s book for improving the quality of your love:

1. Don’t Do the Same Things and Expect Different Results: That’s an old saying we are all familiar with but it is the same in love relationships. If you know you react negatively in certain situations — overreacting, lashing out, knee-jerk reactions — and then suffer disappointing and negative responses in return, you have to choose to use new responses that will bring healthy results.

2. Avoid Correcting Each Other: This point is not referring to an isolated incident but the habit of publicly correcting the person you love when it is absolutely unnecessary. It is disrespectful and damaging to the relationship. Are not the feelings of the person you love more important than technicalities? Most all people resent being corrected. Unless it is of extreme importance, keep the correction to yourself. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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An important principle of success is staying more focused on the goal than the present obstacles or even the steps to reaching it.

I was reminded of this principle while working toward the completion of all the necessary seasonal responsibilities in my garden. I have quite extensive gardens with a large variety of plants, including over 30 antique rose bushes. Though I have always enjoyed gardening, this time of year’s seasonal requirements get very overwhelming as it takes about 3 months to complete due to other life responsibilities. The care and upkeep is probably too extensive for this time in life, but, when we designed and planted it 15 years ago, it was not possible to foresee the changes in career, family responsibilities, and physical energy in the future. It is a temptation to cause myself continual displeasure by solely viewing all the tasks yet undone rather than staying focused on the forthcoming end result and enjoying the present pleasures my garden during the process of the oiling, fertilizing, pruning, and mulching to reach the goal; it will become a healthy, lush garden that is a delight to the eyes and a joy to share with friends and family.

Here are some results of staying more focused on the end goal than the present obstacles or process: Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Impassioned

Many People are on a Search for Personal Power.

No one wants to feel helpless. It is even common for people involved in spiritual searches through a variety of religions to be motivated by a desire for spiritual personal power. The validity of a search or desire for power is often questioned. Everyone has seen situations in which power corrupts. One may wonder whether power can ever be good. In this post, we’ll discuss that question, as well as the safeguards and motivations for power.

The Validity of Power

There is a type of power that we are all to experience, a power that is to be influential in each of our realms of existence. Though this is revealed through several quotes, I’ll use the most direct one first.

I pray that you will have greater understanding in your heart so you will know the hope to which God has called us…His immeasurable, unlimited, and surpassing power in and for us who believe. It is the same mighty power He used when He raised Christ from the dead. Eph. 1:18-20

This quote is by the apostle Paul, author of the majority of the New Testament and considered by theologians to be the greatest leader in the Early Church. His prayer was that each person would have a greater understanding (some translations “enlightened”) to know that the same immeasurable power that raised Jesus from the dead is a power that is “in” us and “for” us who believe in God. A limitless power that can return a dead, decaying body to life inside us, and for us to use, is beyond most people’s hope or expectations. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Those in abusive relationships frequently live in a state of confusion and hopelessness or blaming God for not helping them because they are unable to identify why continual destruction takes place in their lives.

Unfortunately, one is usually unaware of how his daily choices, lack of boundaries, and violating of spiritual and natural laws open the doors for harm to repeatedly come to him. Today I want to help you identify areas of your life that may be “opening the door” to harm in your circumstances and relationships. If you can begin seeing where you are violating spiritual boundaries or guidelines that God set up for your own protection, you can avoid the pitfalls, protect your life, and fulfill your destiny.

A person who continually faces destruction in his life often feels that he is being loving “like God” by giving in to controlling people and not having boundaries to protect his life and destiny.

This person often becomes bitter and blames God for the hardships he or she is suffering, but it is not God that has caused these things. God is not just “loving,” He IS Iove itself. There is a difference. He is perfect love and His perfect love includes boundaries, natural and spiritual laws, correction, and justice for the sake of our protection and well-being. To have real love and beneficial results in one’s daily life and relationships, you must implement God’s type of love, a real love that has boundaries and protection built into it.

A person would not blame God for self-imposed harm that came to someone who chose to violate the laws of nature. Yet, whether or not you implement spiritual laws for daily relationships is also a decision to avoid or cause self-imposed harm.

Here is an illustration. If someone chooses to violate the natural law of gravity by jumping off a skyscraper and bringing destruction to his or her physical body, you would not blame God for the result of their choice. God did not do it to them. The person chose to violate a natural law and it resulted in personal harm. God lists in Scripture many practical, daily guidelines (I’m going to call them spiritual laws as compared to laws of nature), which are given to help us be wise in our relationships with people, particularly those who are controlling or potentially harmful to us. People often violate these laws for one of three reasons:

–A lack of knowledge. They have never received instruction on the subject.

–They know about them but mistakenly feel that compromise is a loving choice because it is what the controlling person wants them to do.

–The person is so worn out by surrounding themselves with “leech” type people instead of giving people that they do not have the strength to fight for their personal rights, well-being, and fulfillment of destiny.

By stating the following spiritual guidelines as what should be avoided, it will be easier for you to identify if you already have violations of these spiritual guidelines affecting your relationships with people, and make changes necessary to bring restoration to your life. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Have you ever wished for a plan of action to get out of the abusive relationships in your life?

There is a step by step plan in an exceptional article written by Dr. Joseph Carver, Psychologist, explaining how to free yourself from controlling people and/or abusive people. Dr. Carver says that most people fail trying to get out of abusive relationships because “they leave suddenly and impulsively, without proper planning, and without resources.” Dr. Carver is a reputable psychologist whose articles on Love and the Stockholm Syndrome and the article we will discuss in this post are used by counseling groups across the globe.

Dr. Carver says that there are 3 necessary stages in freeing yourself from abusive and controlling people: The Detachment, Ending the Relationship, and the Follow-up Protection. These are only brief, paraphrased excerpts from Dr. Carver’s article. Please use the link here or below to read his article in full so that you have all the practical steps, information, and confidence you need to free yourself and start over on a new healthy path to a life that fulfills the God-given destiny for your existence!

Stage 1: The Detachment

-The abuser will have caused you isolation by methods such as controlling the finances, modes of transportation, etc. Pay attention to methods the controller is using to isolate you from freedom and help.

- Gradually become more boring, talk less, and share less feelings. The goal is to lessen the abuser’s emotional attachment to you.

- Quietly contact your family and friends to determine who can provide a place to stay, protection, financial help, etc. [An added note, only contact those who will keep your plans absolutely confidential.]

- If you fear violence or abuse, check local legal or law enforcement options.

- Slowly remove your valuables from the home. You may lose some personal items.

- Stop arguing. Stop defending and explaining yourself. Express that you are too stressed or confused to know why you are doing anything anymore. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Whenever you set goals, the manifestation of the best goals-your goals for the ultimate restoration of your life-are achieved through a very common process: writing it out!

I recently mentioned to a friend about a common denominator that I came across while studying the success stories of people whose lives had endured complete collapse financially, physically, and career-wise. The recovery or life restoration of every person I have studied, both in the secular and religious worlds, resulted from a commitment to writing out a clear list of life goals. It sounds so simple. In many ways, it is. Yet it is absolutely vital to seeing the manifestation of your restoration. Whether the purpose of your goal setting is the complete restoration of a collapsed life, the reaching of some childhood dreams, or accomplishing your destiny, a clearly written list is still an absolute necessity.

This practical illustration reveals why the manifestation of your goals must go beyond just visualization.

Many people have probably seen the photos of the beach communities in Mississippi after Hurricane Katrina. The devastation looked must like that of an earthquake. Nothing could be seen for miles except complete rubble. Among those people who lost their homes, there was bound to be at least one architect or contractor.

An expert home builder may know all that there is to build himself a new home, but he will never begin the rebuilding without “writing it out,” without a blueprint. An expert builder who lost his home in that disaster may be able to see the image in his mind of the new home for the rebuilding, but he will not rebuild without that blueprint, without putting it in writing. And, to further the analogy, Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

This is Part 3 in the series. If you missed Part 1 and 2, please click the above links to read first.

Dr. Carver states that Stockholm Syndrome develops involuntarily-the victim does not purposely develop these feelings and responses. They are done to survive a threatening and controlling environment and relationship.

The victim’s self-worth and emotional health is so tied to the relationship that they believe that they would mentally collapse if the relationship ended. The more dysfunctional the situation, the more dysfunctional the victim’s adaptation to survive and make the relationship work. When the victim reaches the point of realizing that the relationship doesn’t work and can’t be fixed, they will need to loving support of family and friends to return to a healthy, positive lifestyle.

While each situation is different, Dr. Carver provides these guidelines for friends and family:

-Your contacts with your loved one may be met with anger and resentment. This is because each contact may prompt the abuser to attack them verbally or emotionally.

-It’s often best to establish predictable, scheduled contacts. Calling every Wednesday evening, just for a status report or to go over current events, is less threatening than random calls during the week. Random calls are always viewed as “checking up on us” calls. While you may encounter an answering machine, leave a polite and loving message.

-Remember that there are many channels of communication. It’s important that we keep a channel open if at all possible. Communication channels might include phone calls, letters, cards, and e-mail.

-Importantly, don’t discuss the relationship (the controller may be listening!) unless the victim brings it up. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

A reader asked about how to move beyond an abusive relationship when you still feel love for that person.

This is actually a common feeling from people in abusive, or even just very controlling relationships. A prominent pastor’s wife in Atlanta filed for divorce when a relationship involving much emotional abuse evolved into a physical attack. She said that she still felt love toward him but decided to “take her love with her and leave” for her own welfare. A loved one of ours, after having decided some time ago to leave an abusive relationship is now feeling that he loves the other person in spite of the fact that his health, career, and family life have all been destroyed by the other person.

An initial step is to realize the difference between love and concern.

A friend in a bad relationship once had another friend tell him, “You care about her well-being, but it doesn’t sound like you really love her.” There is a major difference between love and concern. It is unlikely that you will feel completely devoid of concern over the person’s well being if you have shared a major part of your life or major events in your life with him or her. However, concern over his or her well being is not proof of the existence of a loving relationship.

People in emotionally or physically abusive situations often suffer from Stockholm syndrome, not just people in hostage situations.

In Stockholm Syndrome, the person in an abusive or controlling situation begins to experience a psychological response of defending the “captor” and showing loyalty to the abuser. (1) Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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An often asked question by readers is, “Does God desire people to be poor?”

Scripture does address God’s view on poverty. Though I cannot cover all possible aspects of poverty in one post, I think this article will give you clear answers.

God specifically mentions His watchful care over the poor.

It is important to realize that this is not a matter of favoritism, because God speaks against that and promises His unfailing love to all who seek Him, but a matter of special reassurance. The poor are often neglect or forgotten by the societies in which they live. Anyone who has been in poverty understands the struggles with the feeling of abandonment, hopelessness, and that there is no one who cares. Fully understanding a person’s circumstances, God specifically speaks to remind the poor that He cares, is paying attention, and is attentive to their requests for help.

Here are a few quotes in which God expresses His attentiveness to the poor:

Isa 41:17 The poor and needy search for water, but there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst. But I the LORD will answer them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.

Ex 22:22,23 Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan. If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry.

De 15:4,7 However, there should be no poor among you, for in the land the LORD your God is giving you to possess as your inheritance, he will richly bless you. If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the LORD your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Some simple daily exercises for health and restoration are beneficial in the realization of your goals.

After talking with a loved one who was going through a breakdown of the family structure, finances, and emotional state, I began to visualize seeing him as he desires his life to be–happy, healthy, trim, and successful. When one’s dreams for his or her life have come crashing down around them, it is rather difficult, and seemingly absurd to visualize one’s self and life in a state of near perfection. However, in recent years I have been studying people in both the secular world and religious world who have used the principle of faith to bring restoration after every aspect of their lives had been completely destroyed, and all of them say, “You must see where you want to be in your mind; you must visualize it for it to come to pass.” As a main key to being successful is learning how others achieved it, the concepts of visualizing and speaking restoration into existence should be taken hold of by anyone in need of life restoration.

Let’s look at two daily exercises to evoke health and life restoration. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

How you deal with crises or tragedies affect the length of your life as well as the daily quality.

I once heard a report on the news about a study done with people over 100 years of age. They were expecting to discover a common health link, something those seniors did or did not eat, or some type of exercise routine. Much to the astonishment of those doing the study, there did not appear to be any common denominators in health habits. Obviously, health habits will affect the quality of one’s physical life, especially as you get older. However, the sole common denominator in these seniors who lived to be over 100 years of age was how they dealt with crises or tragedies; they had a commitment to move forward or move past the tragedy and continue to find enjoyment in life. In their view, it was worth living just to be alive, regardless of the events they experienced.

A perspective that sees value solely in being alive will benefit one’s daily life as well.

Though it wasn’t discussed in the part of the report I heard, I would imagine that people who outlived their peers due to a commitment to move beyond tragedy had also lived their daily lives with the same perspective-”This too shall pass,” “Life goes on…,” or whatever applicable saying you have heard. If one has a view to be able to enjoy life just because he or she is still alive, regardless of even facing tragedies, imagine how much less Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Impassioned

In the physical health world, the phrase “No pain, no gain,” is quite familiar. When it comes to emotional health in relationships and boundary setting, “No pain, no gain” is also an applicable phrase.

People who repeatedly allow themselves to be hurt or harmed by others, physically or emotionally, have difficulty setting boundaries. They bring a continual flow of destruction into their lives due to not setting boundaries, or not making clear what is acceptable and what is not acceptable behavior mainly due to a fear of the other person’s response. They fear the other person’s anger or they even fear hurting the other person’s feelings. Often, the boundaryless person fears hurting the other person because of an “over-identification with loss.” He hasn’t dealt with his own personal losses, especially those caused by the harmful relationship, so he has an unrealistic, over-emotional response to the thought of hurting the other person. It is a tragic thing to see destruction rule throughout a person’s whole life when restoration and abundance is attainable-all because he or she fears boundary setting will hurt the other person’s feelings. In such cases, pain is a good thing!

First, realize that it is possible to hurt someone’s feelings by “doing what needs to be done” and being responsible with your gift of life.

Those who follow this blog know that I frequently refer to the Boundaries book by Cloud and Townsend when discussing relationship issues of this type. You do what you need to do though it may hurt the other person’s feelings. This is not a matter of being inconsiderate. You think through and evaluate how the boundary will likely hurt the other person’s feelings; that’s being empathetic and “taking into account” the other person’s feelings. But you still set the boundaries to stop the harm to your life; otherwise, you are being irresponsible to the gift of your own life. The other person will likely insult you, saying that you are cruel or unforgiving. To purposely hurt someone’s feelings without giving any consideration to the fact that the person will hurt would be wrong (Keep in mind this is exactly what the other person is doing to you when violating your boundaries.), but so is not setting the boundaries necessary so that you can fulfill your God-given destiny with the precious gift of your own life!

In boundary setting, we must recognize the clear difference between hurt and harm.

Here is the most wonderfully wise example provided by Cloud and Townsend, pp. 93-94, of the difference between hurt and harm. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

Recent events in the US Open were a good illustration of the harm that quickly comes to people on both ends of a conversation through a careless moment with one’s words.

It made headlines the last few days of the US Open (tennis) when a few careless words in an attempt to joke brought great offense to another athlete, visibly hindering his play in the quarters and semifinals. We began following the sport a few years ago when we watched Wimbledon with a visiting friend. Commentators mentioned that medical staff for the players avoid giving many details on injuries; this seems logical as it would give an advantage to the opponent. When Andy Roddick was asked in an interview about his strategy for an upcoming match with Novak Djokovic’, he made a careless remark implying that Djokokvic’ had so many injuries that he would be easy to beat. We, ourselves, were startled at the words, as one of the things we’ve appreciated about the sport is an apparent higher level of conduct than in most sports; in pre and post games interviews that we’ve seen, it is standard that the athletes always compliment their opponents. Though Roddick later stated that the remark was only a joke, the offense soon made international headline news.

Most of us are fortunate enough that are words are not publicized by the press, but the results of such a remark paint a clear portrait for us. It was an opportunity in which immense character could have been displayed by the offender.

Djokovic’ and his family were deeply offended by the remark and his normal, fighting spirit was no where to be found in his last match of the Open; one could see a visible oppression on his spirit. We all fail, at times, with our words. Scripture says that, otherwise, we would be perfect people–meaning if we were so disciplined as to perfectly control our words, we would be perfect in all other areas of our lives as well. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »