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Abusive Relationships: What if You Still Love Them?

November 20th, 2008

A reader asked about how to move beyond an abusive relationship when you still feel love for that person.

This is actually a common feeling from people in abusive, or even just very controlling relationships. A prominent pastor’s wife in Atlanta filed for divorce when a relationship involving much emotional abuse evolved into a physical attack. She said that she still felt love toward him but decided to “take her love with her and leave” for her own welfare. A loved one of ours, after having decided some time ago to leave an abusive relationship is now feeling that he loves the other person in spite of the fact that his health, career, and family life have all been destroyed by the other person.

An initial step is to realize the difference between love and concern.

A friend in a bad relationship once had another friend tell him, “You care about her well-being, but it doesn’t sound like you really love her.” There is a major difference between love and concern. It is unlikely that you will feel completely devoid of concern over the person’s well being if you have shared a major part of your life or major events in your life with him or her. However, concern over his or her well being is not proof of the existence of a loving relationship.

People in emotionally or physically abusive situations often suffer from Stockholm syndrome, not just people in hostage situations.

In Stockholm Syndrome, the person in an abusive or controlling situation begins to experience a psychological response of defending the “captor” and showing loyalty to the abuser. (1) Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

God’s View on Poverty

November 6th, 2008

Reading Level: Gratifying

An often asked question by readers is, “Does God desire people to be poor?”

Scripture does address God’s view on poverty. Though I cannot cover all possible aspects of poverty in one post, I think this article will give you clear answers.

God specifically mentions His watchful care over the poor.

It is important to realize that this is not a matter of favoritism, because God speaks against that and promises His unfailing love to all who seek Him, but a matter of special reassurance. The poor are often neglect or forgotten by the societies in which they live. Anyone who has been in poverty understands the struggles with the feeling of abandonment, hopelessness, and that there is no one who cares. Fully understanding a person’s circumstances, God specifically speaks to remind the poor that He cares, is paying attention, and is attentive to their requests for help.

Here are a few quotes in which God expresses His attentiveness to the poor:

Isa 41:17 The poor and needy search for water, but there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst. But I the LORD will answer them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.

Ex 22:22,23 Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan. If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry.

De 15:4,7 However, there should be no poor among you, for in the land the LORD your God is giving you to possess as your inheritance, he will richly bless you. If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the LORD your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother.

Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Visualize & Speak Health and Restoration into Existence

September 18th, 2008

Table of contents for Speaking Health and Restoration into Existence

Speaking Health and Restoration into Existence
Visualize & Speak Health and Restoration into Existence

Some simple daily exercises for health and restoration are beneficial in the realization of your goals.

After talking with a loved one who was going through a breakdown of the family structure, finances, and emotional state, I began to visualize seeing him as he desires his life to be–happy, healthy, trim, and successful. When one’s dreams for his or her life have come crashing down around them, it is rather difficult, and seemingly absurd to visualize one’s self and life in a state of near perfection. However, in recent years I have been studying people in both the secular world and religious world who have used the principle of faith to bring restoration after every aspect of their lives had been completely destroyed, and all of them say, “You must see where you want to be in your mind; you must visualize it for it to come to pass.” As a main key to being successful is learning how others achieved it, the concepts of visualizing and speaking restoration into existence should be taken hold of by anyone in need of life restoration.

Let’s look at two daily exercises to evoke health and life restoration. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Crisis Management – The Means to Long Life

September 17th, 2008

Reading Level: Leisurely

How you deal with crises or tragedies affect the length of your life as well as the daily quality.

I once heard a report on the news about a study done with people over 100 years of age. They were expecting to discover a common health link, something those seniors did or did not eat, or some type of exercise routine. Much to the astonishment of those doing the study, there did not appear to be any common denominators in health habits. Obviously, health habits will affect the quality of one’s physical life, especially as you get older. However, the sole common denominator in these seniors who lived to be over 100 years of age was how they dealt with crises or tragedies; they had a commitment to move forward or move past the tragedy and continue to find enjoyment in life. In their view, it was worth living just to be alive, regardless of the events they experienced.

A perspective that sees value solely in being alive will benefit one’s daily life as well.

Though it wasn’t discussed in the part of the report I heard, I would imagine that people who outlived their peers due to a commitment to move beyond tragedy had also lived their daily lives with the same perspective-”This too shall pass,” “Life goes on…,” or whatever applicable saying you have heard. If one has a view to be able to enjoy life just because he or she is still alive, regardless of even facing tragedies, imagine how much less Immerse Yourself in the Full Healin