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How fulfilling do you feel your life has been up to this point in 2010?

At the beginning of the year, I challenged you to make a clear cut “life plan” to achieve your own goals of fulfillment in the various aspects of your life, instead of just maintaining in the face of all life’s responsibilities. A visible plan is needed to help you keep in focus the daily creation of the environment essential to live out your desired life of fulfillment.  (See the post Planning for Life)

As we are drawing closer to the last quarter of the year, be sure to be intentional that any revisions of your year’s goals include time for fulfillment.

Since September usually sees life coming back to a more typical schedule than during seasonal summertime activities, I have been re-checking and fine tuning my life goals.  Part of this process has been making sure that I have time for all the things that bring fulfillment to life — not just career or personal goals — but time for friends, hobbies, and other things that bring lasting memories.  As we were reminded Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

How much do you live life in the present moment?  Or is your daily life a constant mental battle between past problems and future concerns?

I’ve mentioned that I’ve been reading again through Dr. Richard Carlson’s book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.”  I wasn’t going to make another reference to it but then I came across the chapter on being present-minded or “living on purpose,” as author, Dawna Markova, also challenges.  The tendency to not live present-minded is such a wide spread mental trap that most people unknowingly fall into — one which literally steals the joy out of life — that I could not deprive you of the opportunity to discuss it again. 

Listen to this quote from Dr. Carlson which aptly describes not living a present-minded life:

We allow past problems and future concerns to dominate our present moments, so much so that we end up anxious, frustrated, depressed, and hopeless.  On the flip side, we also postpone our gratification, our stated priorities, and our happiness, convincing ourselves that “someday” will be better than today.  While we’re busy Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

When you look at your life, is your lifestyle one of true enjoyment, solely maintenance, or survivable chaos?

I mentioned recently about the need to “plan for life,” especially when life’s responsibilities appear to be squeezing your dreams out of the picture and life becomes a process solely of maintenance. However, I have been reminded how easy it is for people to believe their lifestyles are intended to be chaotic to be fulfilling.

My spouse has been doing business for the past year with a couple whose lives are in a constant state of chaos — by choice. The one person’s personality lends to feeling that this state of chaos is necessary for a fulfilling life. Both of them, being in a religious environment, either consciously or subconsciously believe that this state of “chaos” is a matter of religious sacrifice or higher calling. Working in religious fields, I’ve seen this concept too often in religious people, and unknowingly lived by that philosophy myself in my 20’s and 30’s. The effects of this barely tolerable lifestyle are already becoming visible in their business decisions, as time for restful meditation is lacking, and in their kids.

If your lifestyle is not one of true enjoyment, the mental perspective needs to be engrained that a healthy, restful way of life is intended by design and necessary for fulfillment. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

If you are a giver and your giving has left yourself in need, it is time to re-prioritize.

In actuality, all the people you love, those that you have expended yourself to help and sacrificed your own well-being, will be better off after you re-focus on self help! This article by fellow SelfGrowth.com professional, Lori Snyder, covers 10 basic steps for getting back to daily care for yourself.

Lori admits that she herself was so busy with everyone else’s needs that she sidelined her own needs, only to discover that the reality was, by neglecting her own needs and not meeting them first, she was not able to give her best to those she loves. These are brief excerpts from Ms. Snyder’s article. Use the link in the footnote below to read the full article.

1. Start each day filled with gratitude for all that you are…Appreciate the beauty all around you. [I would suggest, at the beginning, to make a list of self appreciation points. If you’ve neglected yourself for a long time, it will be difficult at the beginning to really focus on your own value.]

2. Count your blessings for the people who you love and who love you…They all come, and some go, for a reason.

3. Take a moment of silence for yourself to meditate, and think about what your needs of the day are, and what you would like to accomplish.

4. Be mindful of your health, and incorporate a wellness schedule into your week. Exercise, eat healthy, get enough rest.

5. Look at your goals sheet quickly each week, and evaluate how you are doing with them. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

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Anti aging is a hot topic as more people realize that you do have the option not to succumb to all the typical ailments of aging and, especially, not to feel the affects of aging as early.

My grandfather decided to make major changes to his health when he turned the age of 39. I am not sure what all food related changes he made, but I know he stopped drinking alcohol, cut back to one cup of coffee a day, and began taking supplements and power walking a mile a day. He enjoyed incredibly good health throughout his senior years. He had a brief bout of severe arthritis in his early 70’s but through research on supplements and faithful prayer it soon disappeared completely. He still had none of the typical old age illnesses, rarely even a cold, when he passed away at the age of 89. On the other hand, I have known people who eat the typical American diet of almost no fruits, vegetables, or water and never exercise. They have already had diseases common to old age in their late 30’s, 40’s, or 50’s.

Many of the lifestyle changes to create a extended, healthier life are easy to make!

I wanted to include abbreviated lists from a couple of different organizations on anti aging. Each website has vast amounts of information to surf through, so please make use of their links to click through and read more ways to have a long, satisfying life.

These 8 tips are from Simply Anti Aging’s pages on health and nutrition. Many more tips on their site.

1. Laugh More. Recent research has shown that laughter really does help us in managing stress. Adopting a humorous view of life’s difficulties can take the edge off everyday stressful situations. Laughter stops the release of damaging stress hormones into the body. (A)

2. Improve Cardio Fitness with Dance. Combining cardio exercise fitness with dancing is a great way to keep fit over 40. (A) Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Gratifying

Though most everyone is aware of the old expression, acting on it truly empowers your life.

Like the old expression of whether a glass is half full or half empty, how you daily perceive your life, as either half full or half empty, will determine whether you empower yourself to succeed and be happy or drain the very life force (energy-wise) from your day-to-day existence.

Grasping the urgency of this concept can be a key factor to restoration.

I have been recently talking with a friend who has not yet grasped the urgency of this concept in bringing restoration to his life.  He was in a very abusive family relationship. The controlling, self-motivated spouse lived a destructive lifestyle that deeply affected every member of that family. Eventually, even the children as they became adults began to adopt many of her user/abuser behavior traits. Eventually, my friend’s life came completely crashing down around him with the loss of his physical and emotional health, self worth, career, and financial stability. He has been out of the household for about 8 months, though career issues and financial problems caused by the relationship aren’t remedied by a geographic change. The effects from the amount of time – 20 years – in such a abusive relationship are not easily or quickly corrected. Yet, day after day, my friend beats himself down in his thoughts by focusing on what has not yet been restored, i.e. a healthy family setting, new career, and freedom from debt.

By focusing on the “half full” in his journey to restoration, my friend could be living in a state of joy that would bring energy, creativity, vision, motivation, and awareness of good opportunities to his daily life.

Those of us around him can rejoice in the tremendous healings that have visibly taken place: his physical health is doing well, his personality and sense of humor have returned, he has free time/personal time, he is now surrounded by people who deeply love and support him instead of drain him and abuse him. These aspects alone would bring great consolation to many people who are in situations needing improvement. It could to him, too, if he would only allow it.

The decision to focus on what is not yet resolved will drain the life force from anyone’s day, making difficult any type of effectiveness and clarity of perception. In addition, staying focused on the problem causes you to only see the problem, not the solutions.

Look at these examples of life benefits from focusing on the “half full.”

The decision to focus on the “half full” part of my friend’s life would: Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Gratifying

Is your life focus right now on the main problem area of your life?

What is that controlling area? A job, finances, marriage, other personal relationships, health? Though we must give attention to the problem area if it is going to improve, it is healthier and more effective to be focused on completeness or wholeness than give the totality of your attention to a problem.

Since the beginning of creation, God’s desire for mankind is to be complete.

At the beginning of creation, all was in perfection and harmony. Everything mankind needed was readily available. Yes, man’s rebellion brought devastation, but God still desires for your life to return to a state of wholeness or completeness, and so should you.

Look at this greeting out of Scripture:

1Sam. 25:6 And say this, “May all be well for you: peace be to you and your house and all you have.”

We are to speak the desire for all to be well in others’ lives; certainly, we should speak and desire it over our own lives.

Let’s take a more in depth look with this quote:

Jer.33:9 They will be in awe and will tremble at the abundant prosperity and peace I provide.

God speaks here of people being in awe, both mentally and physically at the prosperity and peace He provides for His people. Sounds simple, but, as I’ve mentioned before, much is lost in the translation to English. Look at the depth and expanse of completeness in life (or wholeness — whichever term is easier for you to envision) that is intended to be ours: Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

There is no need to stay stuck in the misery of a bad day.

I cam across a very practical, helpful article by psychologist and life coach Melissa McCreery with tips to move on from the guilt, anger, hurt, or frustrations of a bad day and get back to the peace and productivity of a positive mindset.

Ms. McCreery says that the secret to thriving is learning how to move forward in spite of bad days.

Here are some excerpts of from Melissa’s article, “How to Recover from a Bad Day:”

1. Give yourself permission to have a bad day. Stop beating yourself up so that you can move on. Let go of blame and guilt, realizing that a bad day does not mean you failed.

2. Ask, “What will I need to let go of to do move on?” You must be willing to stop beating yourself up, feeling miserable (or hurt or angry), drowning your sorrows, or feeling victimized.

3. Decide what do you want to move on TO?   How do you want things to be? How do you want to feel? What do you want your mindset or mental attitude to be?

4. Take a look in the mirror at your posture and facial expressions; make sure you aren’t still carrying your bad day with you. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Gratifying

These sound like incompatible terms, but the reality is that healthy generosity will not leave you unhealthy and burned out because it is controlled by wisdom.

Generous people are often compulsive givers, quickly responding to the needs around them, even to their own detriment. It does not take too many years of a lifestyle of compulsive giving to leave one wondering why — when he (or she) has been such a good, caring person — he is struggling with exhaustion and resentment. Ever catch yourself wondering, “How can my life be so miserable and out of control when all I have done is spent my life helping people in need?” People with generous spirits often burn out due to not having healthy generosity. No, not all generosity is healthy; just as with every other area of your life, it must be controlled by wisdom.

A generous person who is also a religious person tends to be more readily trapped into a lifestyle of unhealthy, unwise giving.

As I have mentioned in prior posts, the life of a religious person that is unhappy and out of balance is often due to childhood teaching that is based on religious tradition rather than the truth of Scripture. Let’s look at a quote on giving that is frequently misunderstood due to religious tradition.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. Phil. 2:3-5

This quote is used by religious tradition to promote a life of self abasement, or self neglect, when, in actuality, it is promoting a lifestyle of balance in the attitude of giving. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

Take a few moments to look at this example and write out the activities, people, and environment that will enable you to live your life with purpose.

This is Part 2 of this post. In Part 1, we talked about author Dawna Markova’s insight on Living with Purpose and looked at her “No Matter Whats” list which she developed as an example to help each of us write our own list of how to live lives with passion and purpose. If you did not read Part 1, please click here to read it.

Here is my “No Matter Whats” List:

What are the influences, activities, and people that cause me to live life with energy, fulfillment, and purpose?

No matter what, I need to be living and working in a spacious environment that encourages my creativity and visionary side.

No matter what, I need to be living and working in an environment with garden and ocean views that fill my body with pleasure, health, and energy.

No matter what, I need to live a lifestyle that provides times for prayer, meditation, healthy eating, exercise, relaxation, and friendship so that my mind, spirit, and body are all equally healthy.

No matter what, I need to work privately as an author, but also outwardly, impacting the world, so that all nations of the earth are blessed through me. (Gen.12:3) Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

Do you feel that you are living the purpose for which your life exists and enjoying achieving it with passion?   Or do you feel that you are powerless, caught in a habitual life that you do not want?

This past week my brother mentioned to me a book by Dawna Markova. He said she is known for encouraging people to surround themselves with the environment, people, and activities that bring energy into their lives, rather than drain energy from their lives. I have read articles by other authors on that topic, but none by Dawna, so I decided to Google her and find out more. Dawna Markova, Ph.D, is an internationally known speaker and author who encourages people to” learn from our wounds, find our gifts, celebrate our values, and live our dreams to live on purpose and with passion.” One of her most popular books is, “Wide Open: On Living With Purpose and Passion.” She has many other great sounding books, as well as a blog, which you can find at DawnaMarkova.com  .

I also came across an article of Ms. Markova’s called, “Landscape of the Soul.”  She has a great illustration of how one can be trapped in an unfulfilling life of habit. She tells of a science experiment in which baby fish were raised in a small glass tank that was inside a larger glass tank of adult fish. Once the baby fish were grown, the small tank was removed, but the baby fish still would not swim beyond the place where the walls of the small tank had once been. The habit was more real than reality, even though reality provided them with more freedom.

Are you living in a way that develops that best of who you are?

Ms Markova wisely instructs to give thought to the kind of environment you need to bring out the best of the person that you are so that, when you are in a needy, demanding environment, you will not lose your sense of self or purpose. Rather than accept the environment you have been given, or the habitual lifestyle you are in, contemplate and decide what environment, people, and activities you need so that you are living your life’s purpose and, thus, able to live life passionately because your life is purposeful. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

When is the last time you committed the random act of kindness which we all hold in so high esteem?

Gifting someone else’s life with an unexpected, and even undeserved, kindness is living at the peak of human character, achieving one of the most perfect elements of the human spirit. While most anyone believes that random acts of kindness are a part of the ultimate lifestyle and a thing a beauty in life, stress and busyness can prevent you from consistently thinking creatively enough to live out such acts in your own life.

People of great admiration throughout history have spurred us on to live a lifestyle of random acts of kindness.

I’m pasting a few quotes here from both secular and religious authors with links to 2 sites of quotes which you would probably enjoy reading as well.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless. Mother Teresa

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profundity. Kindness in giving creates love. Lao-Tse

Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. Scott Adams(1)

Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.
Mother Teresa

Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstandings, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate. Albert Schweitzer(2)

Rather than missing out on one of the highest joys of life by allowing busyness to steal from you those opportunities for random acts of kindness, decide to daily envision yourself as “clothed” with kindness. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

Do you consider yourself an optimist? If not, it’s time to join this noteworthy group!  Even if you consider yourself fairly optimistic, one always has room to improve on his or her optimism. Or, if you are pretty sure that being optimistic has not yet become a way of life for you, now is the time to change.

People throughout history of whom we view with great respect have been known for their optimism.

We admire them for it. They inspire us with it. It is time to join their ranks! In going through my personal file of famous quotes, I came across some that I had gathered from emails sent to me which I wanted to share with you. Benefit from the wisdom of these influential, optimistic people!

Sir Edmund Hillary was asked this question on goals. It may not appear to directly be on optimism, but I see part of his point being that your satisfaction is obviously in how you choose to view your achievements.

Question: “How does one know whether or not a project is worthy of his or her consideration?” Sir Edmund’s answer: “If you only do what others have already done, you will only feel what others have already felt. However, if you choose to achieve something that no one has ever done, then you will have a satisfaction that no one else has ever had.” (1)

Helen Keller on optimism dictating one’s goals or actions: Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Gratifying

Expectation plays a large part in what takes place in your life.

Your expectations are important. Expectation affects your emotions as well as your responses to both people and circumstances. (This is Part 2 on Fear. If you missed the first post, “Is Fear the Center of Your Attention?,” please use this link to read it first.) It is easy to understand that if you are “expecting” a situation to go badly or “expecting” a person to respond to you negatively, you yourself will not speak or behave in the same positive manner as when you are anticipating good. This is how a person, by living according to fears, actually triggers situations to turn out poorly or people to respond to him negatively without even realizing his influence.

Mark Twain said,

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

Most of our fearful expectations never take place; however, the consequences of those fearful expectations in one’s physical health, relationships, and reactions to situations still produce negative effects that would not have been there if one was not expecting bad to happen.

When feeling the tendency to fear and expect negative outcomes, choose instead to focus your attention on good possibilities.

If your fearful expectations cause you to interact in a negative way with people and circumstances, then creating less than favorable results, Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »

Reading Level: Leisurely

As the ideas of economic upheaval, threats and dangers of war, disease, or other factors beyond one’s ability vie for control of your thoughts, where is your attention?

Fear is a major factor of everyday life in the times in which we live. It is a force that one must come to terms with. Fear can control one’s life, altering your every decision. It can change your health due to the stress it creates. It can steal creativity and rational thought. It hinders spiritual receptivity. It is a force that cannot be ignored or it will grow in control and dominate your life.

Make the decision to be in control of your thoughts.

It is vital to control your thoughts, rather than allowing them to have free, random access to your mind – the center of all your decision making. Immerse Yourself in the Full Healing Contemplation Here »